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impending band break up - sucks

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by cossie, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. cossie


    Apr 29, 2005

    i'm sure this has been the most posted subject on these boards...but hey, why break a habit!

    my band's going to break up pretty soon and i'm really not enthralled by the notion as i don't really want it to happen, but then there's nothing i can do about it...which sucks.

    our singer is leaving us in december - he just doesn't want to be in a band anymore.

    so we were looking for a new singer.

    we had to get rid of a guitar player.

    and now our other guitar player is leaving to join another band, i'm not bitter about it at all - he's a fantastic guitar player and has a million better chances with this new band than he would have with our's plus he's only 16, still in school with some important exams in the year ahead of him.

    i'll really miss jamming and gigging - it always made me feel good no matter how bad a mood i was in. music is pretty much all i have in terms of a hobby as i've a hip injury that has stopped me playing pretty much any sports (no more basketball, soccer, ultimate frisbee or golf).

    i'm really bummed out by it, when we talked about it at practice last night, i totally agreed with it all and i still do...its just a ****ty feeling still.

    i'm not going to give up music, infact i've started to re-acquaint myself with the piano we have at home aswell as noodling on an acoustic, and improving my singing.

    and our drummer says he wants to just take a break from music for awhile, and then get back into it in a few months, so we could offer our services as a pretty tight rhythm section.

    i'm sure everyone who gigs knows what i mean though, even if you ever had a bad gig...it's never _that_ bad...and no matter how lousy things were outside of the band it all went away from the first note you play at the start of your set.

    this band saved my life - i had a very rough spell where i broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years, my grandfather died after a very long battle with cancer and i couldn't get a job - gigs at the weekend were all i had for those dark months.

    most of all i'll miss the guys from the band.
  2. bassontherun


    Jul 9, 2005
    Leaving or breaking up a band is never fun....at best it may be a relief in some cases. I'd bet a dollar to a donut that almost everyone here has been through this in one form or another. Many will probably agree that getting back on the horse is the best cure. It's cool to grieve a bit for the band you'll loose, but eventually you'll be extatic with the right new project.

    Best of luck on your search for the Next Great Band!
  3. SteveC

    SteveC Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 12, 2004
    North Dakota
    It seems like every band I'm in is breaking up. We always have a great start, good players, gigs, etc. then for some reason, something happens that breaks it up.

    Our drummer moved after 1 gig. We decide to go without for a real acoustic thing, the singer gets fired and we dont' know how long he'll be around. What next?

    The other band is a smooth jazz quartet. The sax player - while he says he likes it - always talks about playing "hard bop" instead. I don't know how long that group will last. Too bad as again, it's good music and good players.

    At one time I almost sold all my stuff and said enough. That's still a possibility with all the crap that's going on music-wise in this small town.
  4. ryco


    Apr 24, 2005
    When a door closes a window opens!

    Now that you're more experienced in jamming and writing you can move a couple of steps ahead in a new project. You'll have more to offer them in terms of good playin' and hopefully they will have something better to offer you be it musical quality, or more money, better gigs, etc.

    It is hard breaking up with guys you enjoy playing with, but I have found it usually works out for the best in the long run. Straight ahead!

    Good luck mon!
  5. cossie


    Apr 29, 2005
    thanks for the advice guys.

    while i never had any huge aspirations for the band (i was never a "we'll make it _big_") it was still nice to try to get gigging in better bars and clubs, and we had some reasonable success.

    and i'm taking every bit of experience i gained from this band so that the next time around i'll be a little bit wiser in terms of how to go about playing live (getting the gig, organising a set list) and the ins and outs of band life.

    atleast this band breakup was amicable, the band i was in before this was almost on the verge of a fist fight during a final and biggest gig, and things ended the second we finished our set for that night!
  6. Everyone has a lot of stories about band members leaving, bands breaking up, firing guys that don't fit in, getting stabbed in the back or fired yourself.

    It's just the bad part of dealing with other humans. Be thankful you had a good experience with the band and use that as a template for rebuilding. You are actually ahead of the game now because you have these good connections with guys you played with and you know what you want out of those elements of your band in terms of chemistry and musical contribution. You know what you need when you replace them and don't settle for less!

    Chemistry is the single most important element in any band (in my humble opinion) and trumps raw talent every day of the week. Just remember that and you'll be golden! But, remember that friends without the same level of energy and committment to the project are often more devisive than strangers who start out with the same goals and musical direction! And they are harder to replace if things don't work out.
  7. Joe P

    Joe P

    Jul 15, 2004
    Milwaukee, WI
    Yes, yes, YES!

  8. Gomez

    Gomez Live from the Shire

    Apr 15, 2005
    I was in the same situation just a few weeks ago. People joining, people leaving. In my case a paying rock-coverband.

    At a certain point I got so fed up with it, I left.

    I'd like to do my own thing, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do,
  9. PunkerTrav


    Jul 18, 2001
    Canada & USA
    this is very true; great post! :)
  10. FriscoBassAce


    Dec 29, 2004
    Frisco, Texas
    Independent Manufacturers Representative
    Find a local musician's internet classified website. Take a look....bass players are in huge demand. That's because everybody wants to play guitar, drums, or be a singer. ;)

    If things don't work out with my current band for some reason in the future, I'm sure that I'll be with another band within a matter of a couple of weeks. And you know what? I feel like my whole experience with this band has been about improving myself. I had to learn 45 new songs, I have upgraded my equipment, and I've improved my playing immensely. Breaking up sucks, but now you have a great opportunity to go out and start jamming with other people. Good luck!
  11. cossie


    Apr 29, 2005

    You're spot on - i improved so much with this last band, i had to learn their entire setlist very quickly - 33 songs in two weeks...so i'd say i learned over 50 songs in the time i was with them.

    having to learn them so quickly really made me step up my game, several notches - it'd have been worse if i learned nothing from it.