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Inter-racial dating

#81
Hey guys, on the bright side.... Im a half full kind of guy..

My cousin aka the karaoke addict... he told me verbatim, "man that is one hell of a fine looking sister you got there... see if shes got a sister".

With that said, my gf hates karaoke.... and furthermore, I dont wanna be his cousin AND his cousin by marriage one day!
 
#83
Relic said:
See, that's just the thing though - racism can be very subtle and still ABSOLUTELY have influence and still hurt, it doesn't have to be in your face.
Go back and reread powderfinger's first post.
He likes this chick, she's smart, hot (to be confirmed when he finally posts a pic :P) and they're totally into each other, but here he is asking TBOT about it...?
If being "quietly racist" we'll call it hurts no one, then why even the need for this thread?
My point is that I would bet that there are a lot of people who would date interracially if it weren't for the opinions of others. Sure, I have no way of truly proving that but it makes a lot of sense to me.
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I completely agree with what you're saying except for the 'quietly' part. The rest is absolutely true, yet it doesn't change a man's right to have his own preferences. If a man tells me that he lusts after filipino girls but wouldn't want to have a filipino child, should I shout "racist!" and argue that his preferences are wrong? Should I tell him to keep it to himself? Should I tell him he needs to marry a filipino and raise a family so as not to hurt others?

Making fun of fat girls can be hurtful. One should not make fun of fat girls to their faces. It would also be hurtful if you express that you find fat girls unattractive and prefer not to date them. This, however, does not mean that you should change your stance regarding fat girls or force yourself to find them attractive.
 
#84
drerio said:
I realize that this is a bit of the off topic of this OT... but I am amused at how so many here throw around the term Asian chicks as is there is only one type. So where I come from the amount of white chicks (ha ha) are scarce, however there are plenty of Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino, etc... chicks.

Married (been married for 20+ years) to a half Okinawan (Uchinanchu) half Japanese chick...
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I'm amused by all the people who refer to their women as "chicks." As my friend Kat told me in 1970, "Women are not chicks." She was a very progressive chick.
 
#85
Unrepresented said:
Racism hasn't been completely eliminated, but the amount of division allowed by it in society has decreased. As that division decreases, the less social forces will reinforce stereotypes. No one said centuries of racism can disappear overnight, but they will decline with effort.
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It's an age/generational thing in the South, in my experience.

Those in my grandparents generation were already adults during segregation, and sadly, blacks were viewed back then, by most Southern whites, as 2nd class citizens. I dont fault them for being naturally racist, but just born at a time when that's just the "way it was". They never knew any different. I remember hearing older folks, esp. my grandparents generation tossing around racial expletives all the times like it was no big thing. I used to work with a guy, who I swear to you, told me to go and back up a delivery down at such and such, and that the old n***** man would sign for the package. I was like "what the hell".

My parents generation were a little more accepting. But still, they grew up as a kids and teens during segregation, so that worldview of blacks being 2nd class citizens was still there. But many in my parents generation have mellowed, and evolved, and changed their views.

My generation and younger, I rarely see the racism anymore. Its FAR more common for a NC man age 60-80 to use a racial derogative than a 20-30 year old.

I hope we can get it together one day.
 
#86
The real irony in this whole discussion is that if we go back far enough into our own evolutionary history we can ALL can claim inheritance to a small band of H. sapien wanderers from S. Africa.

Oh well, if you want to consider neo-genetic variations in small patch of our 3 billion base pair code as a way to find your mate so be it... each to his own, just know deep down you are still African to the core. ;)
 
#87
I think racism is slowly dying away - at least here in the US. I was talking to my 16 year old nephew and he said, "Bla, bla, bla, Native American..." - and it sounded weird not hearing the word, "Indian". I asked him about it and he said he didn't like that term and others like it. We live in a pretty 'sterile' part of Yankee New England so it was a surprise to me. Good for him!

Me and my buddies still throw around a lot of inappropriate & archaic terms like:

- When we feel something is stupid - "Dude, that's wicked gay..." (can't be within 100 miles of Boston and not hear that)

- And, for instance, if someone doesn't hold the door - "Hey! What am I, black?"

And stuff like that. Probably not cool but we don't mean anything by it. Heck, my wife is a minority and I have more black, brown, red and yellow friends and acquaintances than white. Talk like that around them too - and so do they...

Everyone just needs to chill out, not take everything so dang seriously, and enjoy diversity!!
 
#89
jmattbassplaya said:
Well to be fair, if I'm telling a friend of mine to meet up with another friend of mine, and one of the guys happens to be African American or Asian, etc... I'll probably drop it in conversation so he has an easier time knowing who to look for. Is that racist or simply acknowledging physical differences?

Or to stretch it somewhat - let's say Jill is looking to meet up with Karen to exchange notes and I drop a line to Jill saying Karen has noticeably longer hair than most girls. Is that some form of discrimination because I'm once again dropping a physical characteristic to help one person find another?

Genuinely curious - I'm not looking for trouble :)
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I certainly didn't mean everybody in here is a racist, but I would bet my bottom dollar at least a couple of the "not racists" in here are subtle racists. If I called you all racists then I still making broad strokes with my paint brush... kind of ironic in this context.

To describe somebody has long hair vs short hair is a proper physical description, plus we all have (or have had) hair at one point. We all haven't been Asian or Hispanic.

If you needed to give somebody a physical description, it is fine to state somebody is african american or even black, but to use it as a description of somebody as a person is racist. You are saying their colour defines a part of them.
 
#90
matante said:
I completely agree with what you're saying except for the 'quietly' part. The rest is absolutely true, yet it doesn't change a man's right to have his own preferences. If a man tells me that he lusts after filipino girls but wouldn't want to have a filipino child, should I shout "racist!" and argue that his preferences are wrong? Should I tell him to keep it to himself? Should I tell him he needs to marry a filipino and raise a family so as not to hurt others?

Making fun of fat girls can be hurtful. One should not make fun of fat girls to their faces. It would also be hurtful if you express that you find fat girls unattractive and prefer not to date them. This, however, does not mean that you should change your stance regarding fat girls or force yourself to find them attractive.
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Sure - a man has a total right to whatever his preferences may be. I never claimed otherwise. What I am saying though is that no matter what you do or don't do with those preferences, it does certainly have the potential to hurt.
 
#92
drerio said:
The real irony in this whole discussion is that if we go back far enough into our own evolutionary history we can ALL can claim inheritance to a small band of H. sapien wanderers from S. Africa.

Oh well, if you want to consider neo-genetic variations in small patch of our 3 billion base pair code as a way to find your mate so be it... each to his own, just know deep down you are still African to the core. ;)
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We all come from the same source and therefore we are all brothers and sisters. You can call that force God, Nature, the Universe, or whatever you want, but we are all children of the same Energy.
 
#94
powderfinger said:
This one is probably going to get a few interesting responses...

As far as women goes, I've never really had a "type". I really try to look at women, on a woman by woman basis. And the girl Im dating now, happens to be a really awesome black chick, and I just happen to be a semi awesome bass playing white dude. Funny thing is, she's just an awesome chick, regardless.. thats all I see or care about.

But the problem...

Its not the most popular thing to do in North Carolina. A few people (friends and family etc.) have acted kind of weird about it. And the part of me with integrity says, "it doesnt matter what they think", and it doesnt. Im the one who has to live my and be happy, not them. But the part of me who values my friends and family hates that they feel this way. Now, most of them are open minded and just fine about it. But I guess I just hate how shallow and weird people get about this. I wouldnt judge them, and I hate theyre being like this. Any experiences or suggestions here?
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Where do you live? Come to Durham, there are plenty of interracial families here. You can definitely be who you want to be in Durham.
 
#97
I don't know if racism is dying per se. I think the general public makes a more conscious effort to be more sensitive about using certain terms, etc. but there are still are a lot of racists/hate groups in the US. In fact, I believe the number of hate groups in the US has increased year over year. They will continue to exist, and unfortunately, a lot of beliefs will be passed along from generation to generation. I've gone to concerts in the NY area where skinheads (of the neo-nazi population) were also in attendance, and gotten some pretty dirty looks from. Especially standing with my Caucasian wife. I've also had a random older gentleman at Home Depot look at me and say out loud "where's my mauser?"

We might not see it, or hear about it as much except when incidents like the Sikh Temple shooting occur, but it's very much still out there.
 
#100
powderfinger said:
She has the body of a white woman! lol
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Like Donna?

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