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Inter-racial dating

powderfinger

powderfinger

Feb 24, 2009
791
53
#1
This one is probably going to get a few interesting responses...

As far as women goes, I've never really had a "type". I really try to look at women, on a woman by woman basis. And the girl Im dating now, happens to be a really awesome black chick, and I just happen to be a semi awesome bass playing white dude. Funny thing is, she's just an awesome chick, regardless.. thats all I see or care about.

But the problem...

Its not the most popular thing to do in North Carolina. A few people (friends and family etc.) have acted kind of weird about it. And the part of me with integrity says, "it doesnt matter what they think", and it doesnt. Im the one who has to live my and be happy, not them. But the part of me who values my friends and family hates that they feel this way. Now, most of them are open minded and just fine about it. But I guess I just hate how shallow and weird people get about this. I wouldnt judge them, and I hate theyre being like this. Any experiences or suggestions here?
 
#4
Unfortunately there are parts of the world where this is frowned upon and it will have a negative impact on folks involved in those relationships. I don't like it any more than you do, but individuals should factor this in when choosing a partner.

-Mike
 
#6
There is nothing wrong with it, but a healthy percentage of our population maintain their biases against others for a variety of reasons. "Race" (a term I don't actually accept) is only one of many.

Dealing with family and friends can be a problem. Depending on the situation, you two may end up totally on your own for a while. I am not saying it is right in any way, but that does happen. Moving to another part of the country is one of many alternatives, but you need to know if you burn bridges one way or the other, chances are that things will never return to normal.
 
#7
I've dated black gals, Asian gals, white gals and married a mixed-race gal. It's no big deal here either. I've had a scant few incidents where people didn't seem to "like" it but I look at it this way - if someone's shallow enough to have an issue with it, then that's not the kind of person who I care to associate with anyway. the hell with 'em.
To back up what EricF said - screw everyone else. If you guys get along and are happy, then that's what counts.
 
#8
I have some friends in North Carolina, who, like you, are an inter-racial couple. He's black, she's white. They are good for each other, and good together.

Since I live in Northern California I have no idea what their daily life is like. But nobody out here says anything.

edg
 
#9
I was the same way growing up, having dated non-white chicks. That was 20+ years ago, in Southern Alabama. You have no idea what that was like! I ultimately decided that for me, at least, I would not marry a non-white simply because I didn't want the additional strain it would put on our marriage and children over the years. I was not in a serious relationship when I made that choice, so it was an easy one to make. It seemed to take the pressure off so that I could just enjoy dating whoever until I ultimately got in a serious relationship with a white girl and was married. There are many more inter-racial marriages around here now, and it's not quite as taboo as it was back then, but those folks will tell you that it is not always easy. Only you can determine if you are willing to put up with any of that. I don't think there is anything wrong with deciding you don't need the additional issues it will cause, but its best to decide that before it involves breaking someone else's heart if you can.
 
#10
EricF said:
If you and this chick dig each other, then do what makes you happy. If people have an issue with it, they're the one with the problem.
Click to expand...

+1

I can definitely understand your issue OP, it's an interesting situation being a white guy dating a black chick in Oklahoma. ;)

I've talked about preferences with some of my friends, and a lot of them just aren't attracted to chicks of different races.
More for me. :D

Women are awesome, regardless of skin color.
 
#11
MJ5150 said:
Unfortunately there are parts of the world where this is frowned upon and it will have a negative impact on folks involved in those relationships. I don't like it any more than you do, but individuals should factor this in when choosing a partner.

-Mike
Click to expand...

True. It is indeed frowned on in some parts of the world, and USA. I could factor this in when choosing a partner... but then again, I also have to factor in how big of a doucebag Id feel like if I broke up with someone or chose not be with with an awesome chick bc of something like color.

But yes, its a fact. Ill just deal with. And yes, itll show who the real friends are when its said and done. But if this is like any other relationship.... it wont last long anyhow! haha
 
#13
My wife's grandma hated/maybe still hates me because I'm Catholic. And I've never really been a "practicing" one either. So, date who you want. Someone will always be unhappy for you no matter what. However, i don't believe you have this girlfriend because there is no pic.:)
 
#14
I'm all about the many flavors of love. But I've spent some time in NC, and it's true that most folks there think everyone should stay with just one flavor. Unfortunately you can't change those views by yourself, and those views probably won't even change all that much during one person's lifetime. Best path is patience and perseverance, and hope that each successive generation gets just a little less closed-minded.
 
#18
Yeah, sad fact that it can still be an issue for some. My sister-in-law is black and even out here in the 'liberal' state of Washington she and my brother have encountered some nastiness (like being told the women's bathroom was closed at a gas station and then watching a white woman get handed the key). Regardless, love's love. Ef'em if they have a problem with it.
 

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