1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
     
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Inter-racial dating

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by powderfinger, Aug 27, 2012.


  1. powderfinger

    powderfinger

    Feb 24, 2009
    This one is probably going to get a few interesting responses...

    As far as women goes, I've never really had a "type". I really try to look at women, on a woman by woman basis. And the girl Im dating now, happens to be a really awesome black chick, and I just happen to be a semi awesome bass playing white dude. Funny thing is, she's just an awesome chick, regardless.. thats all I see or care about.

    But the problem...

    Its not the most popular thing to do in North Carolina. A few people (friends and family etc.) have acted kind of weird about it. And the part of me with integrity says, "it doesnt matter what they think", and it doesnt. Im the one who has to live my and be happy, not them. But the part of me who values my friends and family hates that they feel this way. Now, most of them are open minded and just fine about it. But I guess I just hate how shallow and weird people get about this. I wouldnt judge them, and I hate theyre being like this. Any experiences or suggestions here?
     
  2. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    In SoCal, no one would even give it a second thought.

    If you and this chick dig each other, then do what makes you happy. If people have an issue with it, they're the one with the problem.
     
  3. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    This sounds like a good thing. The people who are acting weird or saying things are thinning out the herd for you helping reveal who is worth being friends with and who is not.
     
  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Unfortunately there are parts of the world where this is frowned upon and it will have a negative impact on folks involved in those relationships. I don't like it any more than you do, but individuals should factor this in when choosing a partner.

    -Mike
     
  5. Mr L

    Mr L

    Jul 22, 2012
    Vancouver BC
    Honestly people need to get over it. It's 2012 for Pete's sake, people are gonna love who they love regardless of color.

    I say tell them to give their head a good soaking and just deal with it.
     
  6. boynamedsuse

    boynamedsuse Supporting Member

    Oct 13, 2010
    There is nothing wrong with it, but a healthy percentage of our population maintain their biases against others for a variety of reasons. "Race" (a term I don't actually accept) is only one of many.

    Dealing with family and friends can be a problem. Depending on the situation, you two may end up totally on your own for a while. I am not saying it is right in any way, but that does happen. Moving to another part of the country is one of many alternatives, but you need to know if you burn bridges one way or the other, chances are that things will never return to normal.
     
  7. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    I've dated black gals, Asian gals, white gals and married a mixed-race gal. It's no big deal here either. I've had a scant few incidents where people didn't seem to "like" it but I look at it this way - if someone's shallow enough to have an issue with it, then that's not the kind of person who I care to associate with anyway. the hell with 'em.
    To back up what EricF said - screw everyone else. If you guys get along and are happy, then that's what counts.
     
  8. I have some friends in North Carolina, who, like you, are an inter-racial couple. He's black, she's white. They are good for each other, and good together.

    Since I live in Northern California I have no idea what their daily life is like. But nobody out here says anything.

    edg
     
  9. Eublet

    Eublet

    Jul 28, 2006
    I was the same way growing up, having dated non-white chicks. That was 20+ years ago, in Southern Alabama. You have no idea what that was like! I ultimately decided that for me, at least, I would not marry a non-white simply because I didn't want the additional strain it would put on our marriage and children over the years. I was not in a serious relationship when I made that choice, so it was an easy one to make. It seemed to take the pressure off so that I could just enjoy dating whoever until I ultimately got in a serious relationship with a white girl and was married. There are many more inter-racial marriages around here now, and it's not quite as taboo as it was back then, but those folks will tell you that it is not always easy. Only you can determine if you are willing to put up with any of that. I don't think there is anything wrong with deciding you don't need the additional issues it will cause, but its best to decide that before it involves breaking someone else's heart if you can.
     
  10. Topspin

    Topspin What's my name again?

    Dec 15, 2010
    Oklahoma
    I played Tom Sawyer with a pick once. Shame on me.
    +1

    I can definitely understand your issue OP, it's an interesting situation being a white guy dating a black chick in Oklahoma. ;)

    I've talked about preferences with some of my friends, and a lot of them just aren't attracted to chicks of different races.
    More for me. :D

    Women are awesome, regardless of skin color.
     
  11. powderfinger

    powderfinger

    Feb 24, 2009
    True. It is indeed frowned on in some parts of the world, and USA. I could factor this in when choosing a partner... but then again, I also have to factor in how big of a doucebag Id feel like if I broke up with someone or chose not be with with an awesome chick bc of something like color.

    But yes, its a fact. Ill just deal with. And yes, itll show who the real friends are when its said and done. But if this is like any other relationship.... it wont last long anyhow! haha
     
  12. powderfinger

    powderfinger

    Feb 24, 2009
    Exactly. She's funny. Cute. Works out. Smart. Oh, and she happens to be black! I think the other factors played a bigger part in my chosing her. Women are women.... regardless. There's awesome ones. And not so awesome ones.
     
  13. notverygood

    notverygood

    Feb 11, 2010
    My wife's grandma hated/maybe still hates me because I'm Catholic. And I've never really been a "practicing" one either. So, date who you want. Someone will always be unhappy for you no matter what. However, i don't believe you have this girlfriend because there is no pic.:)
     
  14. bongomania

    bongomania Gold Supporting Member Commercial User

    Oct 17, 2005
    PDX, OR
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    I'm all about the many flavors of love. But I've spent some time in NC, and it's true that most folks there think everyone should stay with just one flavor. Unfortunately you can't change those views by yourself, and those views probably won't even change all that much during one person's lifetime. Best path is patience and perseverance, and hope that each successive generation gets just a little less closed-minded.
     
  15. etoncrow

    etoncrow (aka Greg Harman, the curmudgeon with a conundrum)

    I am sorry but no pic; no awesome black chick...rules are rules
     
  16. I can understand some of the issues there, I'm going out with a ginger chick :bag:

    In all seriousness, who cares what other people think, I wouldn't be thinking too highly of people who choose to make it an issue. So as another poster said, it thins the herd.
     
  17. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Long Island, NY.
    Never bothered me much at all, although I will admit I've never really dated anyone who wasn't white.
     
  18. Marial

    Marial weapons-grade plum

    Apr 8, 2011
    Yeah, sad fact that it can still be an issue for some. My sister-in-law is black and even out here in the 'liberal' state of Washington she and my brother have encountered some nastiness (like being told the women's bathroom was closed at a gas station and then watching a white woman get handed the key). Regardless, love's love. Ef'em if they have a problem with it.
     
  19. powderfinger

    powderfinger

    Feb 24, 2009
    Been there, done that! They can be wild!
     
  20. Unprofessional

    Unprofessional

    Mar 5, 2012
    After your friends and family get to know her better, they'll quit acting weird about it. If she's "good people" (and I'm sure she is), they'll figure it out. Give it a little more time.
     

Share This Page