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Journal Entry #346

Oct 7, 2000
18,619
38,939
New York City
www.joenerve.com
Disclosures
Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
3 days in pergertory. didn't go to work - all three. my job allows me to do that, but i don't get paid if i don't go. feel the beginnings of depression slipping in. can't let it happen.

tues afternoon rushed a workout in the gym and did something i never did before to my back. tuesday night when i tried to lay down the pain was so bad it knocked the wind out of me. didn't sleep all nite. blew off work wednesday. felt better wednesday nite, but didn't sleep anyhow. noticed earlier that my cat has a hard lump near his rib-cage. obsessed like crazy. aside from the fact of how much i love this guy, my last (unrelated) trip to the vet they wanted $950. had a gig last nite so it was either go to work on no sleep and crap out at the gig, or sleep and have a good gig. i've got my priorities straight. gig more important. adrenaline from last nights show keeps me up till 5am- no work - again. parent's voices sounding off in my head, "when are you going to grow up?", "how about learning some responsibility?", "when are you going to get a real job?". slap myself a coupla times in the head and thankfully they go away.

8:00 am. they're tearing apart the apartment next to me. haven't a clue what they're doing. i hear hammers, saws, drills, sledgehammers, wood being ripped apart - it's freaking relentless. impossible to sleep. too tired to do anything useful, don't want to do anything useful, sick of the tv, sitting in front of the computer......... arrrrgh!

i think i'm gonna eat, play bass, eat, play bass, eat, play bass. who am i kidding. i'm gonna eat, waste time on internet, eat, waste time on ineternet, eat, waste time on the internet. oh well.... i've definitely been through worse....

how bout that nader guy.
 
Hang in their bro'. I think most of us have been in that position before.

My advice for the immediate situtaion is to go for a nice walk. It clears the heads and makes the four walls not seem so small and stops them from closing in.

I know you are against meds. But I would consider it if you are chronic-ly going into this sort of pifall.
 
If you have trouble sleeping, go to a dollar store and see of you can find some of that melatonin stuff. I've used it, and it helps you sleep. If you need anything, you know TB will be here. Me specifically. You can IM or e-mail me or anything. I'll help wherever I can.
 
Thanks guys. I'm alright. Just think the construction next door is getting to me. They're starting to slow down a bit, maybe it's lunch time? I'm pretty wiped out so I'm probably going to be able to crash. Construction work isn't allowed in my building on weekends, so I'm safe for sleep tomorrow.

I feel like I just kind of get thrown off course every once in a while. Once I get back in the groove - probably after this weekend - I'll be fine. I have been in waaaaaaay, waaaaaay worse shape than I am now. Needed to rant a little and try and get a few people to feel sorry for me. :) It worked. Thanks again.
 
I feel ya, Joe. I've been battling insomnia/sleep issues and this week has been particularly rough, between work and a busy gig schedule. Both work and music suffered this week, which is utterly unacceptable to me. I find myself faced with the challenge of trying to better relax and to better focus at the same time - grrr! But I'm sure we'll both be feeling a lot better about it all before ya know it!

:bassist:
 
Kind of a reference to the Nerve's song Road Rage.
Great tune. !

But if he lets me do it, I would change it to
Mule Rage, and modify the lyrics accordingly... :p :D

And post them somewhere much to your eternal annoyance.

I have solved the issue of insomnia. I finally figured out
if I hit the off button on the computer, TB would go away
and I could go to sleep...