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Just for the experience?

I'm new to the forum. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the interesting reading. This sure beats UG bass forum. But I digress...

I've played guitar since I was a teen, I'm 48 now. Another friend of mine that i worked with is a good guitarist. We'd gotten together for years and played music. He was the hard rock guy I was the classic rock/ acoustic guy. While all this had been going on he'd been in a band that broke up a couple times for various reasons. The whole time I'm wondering why doesn't he ask ME to be in the band to help replace some of these members?

Fast forward, his band wants to get back together, they audition a bassist, he sucked and I was there to hear it. After the audition, I said why don't you ask me to play bass. He said Okay we'll give you an audition. He was totally cool, got me a CD of 10 of the covers they play. I learned the stuff in a couple weeks, he even sat down with me and we worked through some of the changes. Like I said we always did have fun jamming together. So I got the job. I've been practicing like crazy tryin to keep up as the songs are added. We're up to 30 songs. Our first gig is an outdoor thing on May 19th.

So what's the big deal??? Nothing, except I THINK I know why he never asked me to be in a band with him. 1st, it's apparent to me that he could only play in a band with one guitarist, he definitely wants to be the star.There are times when he wants me to play a certain part like he hears it, but I don't hear it that way. When I try to tell him this is how I hear it, I'm just a dumb ***. He's played it a hundred times yada yada yada. I don't suggest songs even though I've been asked, because I've been shot down. His latest comment on that was "I don't know about that one, it's just a stoner song". It was Tom Petty's Breakdown. When i mess up a note or maybe a measure, after the song is over he'll say, "what happened Tom?", as if I didn't know I got off track. I mean, he messes up to, but I know he knows that so I don't make any remarks. And, he's so loud sometimes I can't hear the bass. So I crank and he cranks and so on.

The drummer and singer are cool. I can tell they want me in cuz they've had trouble finding a bassist and we get along very well. They like my playin and the drummer in particular has really helped me musically. I feel like we could really be a good rhythm section. But they don't rock the boat a whole lot. I tend to speak up.

So, I'm in it for the experience. I wanna do the gig in May and see what things are like after that. But if the gig is a success, and I keep getting treated by him like the red headed step child, I might be done. And it's a shame because being in a band is on my bucket list :bassist: Oh, and I would never leave them hangin on this gig in May by quitting. I don't hate the dude, but I'm not sure how much more I can take. I'm really bitin my tongue.

So have any of you just stayed in it for the experience? What was the situation? More importantly, was stayin in the thing to do or should you have left?
 
I played with a guy just like this in my first cover band after getting back to music 10 years ago. He had to be the lead guitarist and star. He had to tell you how to play each song even if he was wrong and you were right. This guy was a decent guitar player but for the life of him could not play the start of ZZ Tops's Fool for your Stockings which we covered. We would tell him he had it wrong but it was right..in his world :rollno:
He was to loud, a jerk at times but the other guys were fun and like you I wanted to be in a band so bad. I will say I did learn quite a bit from him but gee play the song right... OK?

I lasted about 8 months right after our 3rd gig I walked had enough of him and the drummer went south too but thats another story. Give the gig a shot and see what comes of it.
 
One time I joined a band and the "leader" asked me if I minded being told when I screw up. I said as long as everyone else doesn't mind being told when THEY screw up. Solved that problem.

Joining an established band is always a 2 edged sword. Sure it's easy and the gigs are there...BUT you are always the new guy until the next guy quits. I am the NEW guy in my band and I have been in the band for 6 years.
 
I feel your pain. Hope you can work through it and find the common ground. My experience tells me that the guitarist's opinion will win out on this one, leaving you feeling down about it. Sounds like he has a super string personality that you will not be able to sway.

Nothing made me happier when I played with a guy like this and was able to put him in his place. We were rehearsing Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar. Everyone knows the song. This guy had been playing it "for years man". So when I told him he was A) playing the riff wrong on the intro and B) didn't acknowledge the time change during the solo/bridge he said I was absolutely wrong because he had been playing it for soooooo long. I stopped practice, fired up the ipod through our mixer and low and behold, he was wrong. He blushed, cowered and admitted it!!! We had to take it off the set list for a month so he could relearn it.

This stuff makes you very thankful when you encounter an actual guitarist/musician.
 
I played with a guy just like this in my first cover band after getting back to music 10 years ago. He had to be the lead guitarist and star. He had to tell you how to play each song even if he was wrong and you were right. This guy was a decent guitar player but for the life of him could not play the start of ZZ Tops's Fool for your Stockings which we covered. We would tell him he had it wrong but it was right..in his world :rollno:
He was to loud, a jerk at times but the other guys were fun and like you I wanted to be in a band so bad. I will say I did learn quite a bit from him but gee play the song right... OK?

I lasted about 8 months right after our 3rd gig I walked had enough of him and the drummer went south too but thats another story. Give the gig a shot and see what comes of it.

Yeah I agree with ya. Sounds very similar, especially the part about being in the "band". I really wanted this. I'm gonna stick it out for the gig and see what happens. Thx.
 
I feel your pain. Hope you can work through it and find the common ground. My experience tells me that the guitarist's opinion will win out on this one, leaving you feeling down about it. Sounds like he has a super string personality that you will not be able to sway.

Nothing made me happier when I played with a guy like this and was able to put him in his place. We were rehearsing Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar. Everyone knows the song. This guy had been playing it "for years man". So when I told him he was A) playing the riff wrong on the intro and B) didn't acknowledge the time change during the solo/bridge he said I was absolutely wrong because he had been playing it for soooooo long. I stopped practice, fired up the ipod through our mixer and low and behold, he was wrong. He blushed, cowered and admitted it!!! We had to take it off the set list for a month so he could relearn it.

This stuff makes you very thankful when you encounter an actual guitarist/musician.

Ya know, I don't even care if he's playin it different than me. Sometimes it's just the principal. It's kinda like "just listen to what I have to say" and I'm cool, but the stubborn *** just won't give an inch. Wow what an ego!

Thank you for your response I may have to break out the laptop and run it through the PA.
 
Sometimes during practice there are differences in the way we hear the song. We always go to the tape (or ipod..) to work it out right there. Different band members have been right about 50% of the time so it all works out.

Communicate and ask questions. Perhaps your buddy or you has something in his/your head that will make the song better. Work it out and reach concensus.
 
My very first band was with friends. Only auditions and word of mouth since then. I am friendly to people I am in a band with, but I will never start / join a band with friends again. It never ends well

I totally disagree. I've in a band with friends that have been friends for over 40 years. We've all played with different people and its great - No egos, hidden agendas or anything. Just having fun with friends.