• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Karma...

So,

Last year I had a really bad experience with an audition, which was pretty well documented on here. I bounced back with a local band who seemed really happy to have me.

We played 5 gigs together, from Sept to January. During that time there were a few disagreements between me and the singer on opinion type stuff, but nothing (I thought) insurmountably damaging. Some where after the holidays, they were presented an opportunity to bring in a new bass player who promised them "Agency Leads" and who I think may have sang better than me(note, lead singing was never part of the original deal, in fact I was told on more than one occasion how good my backups were). 3 weeks ago I was told that they found someone who was a "better fit" and wouldn't be needing me anymore. I'll say the guitarist tried to be nice about it, and I kind of flipped a little, though I didn't say anything mean or hurtful, but in any case they made their decision to move on and I wasn't really happy about it. I felt my time was wasted, rehearsing for 5 months, going through 2 different audition processes for drummers and paying 20 dollars or more for rehearsal each time, only to be let go once we started booking shows. And let me also point out, my playing was not an issue and I strive to be as helpful as possible when it comes to gig time, like assisting with equipment and such.

Anyhow, I've done my best to move on, despite still feeling bitter about the whole thing. So I post an ad on craigslist last week... and today ... I get an email from the singer, Hey we are a 5 piece band... blah blah blah looking for a bass player. HOW SWEET! Really? After "Careful consideration" and "making a really hard decision" (Her words), the guy who was leading you to the promised land quit after 3 weeks? I personally gave the guy 3-4 months, but wow...

I emailed the drummer, who had just been recruited (and he made clear in his response that it was nothing he said that made them let me go, and enjoyed playing with me) to see what happened but I haven't heard back yet. Maybe the bassist is a talk bass member? I'd love to know exactly what happened.

So I feel kind of vindicated...
 
You are vidicated!

Well, it's really all about business. People get replaced/hired/rehired in non-music business all the time, just like pro-sports business. People don't work out or they do, nothing personal to you. It's not a happy situation. It's happened to me. Pretty shocking as I was one of the founders of the group.

They may want you back but IMO, if you talk to them, now it the time to rehash all the issues that were causing tension/drama along the way. Time to solve those problems once and for all. What do they really want from you? What do you really want from them?

I suggest you NOT return based on the same conditions as before. Also, get them to talk. You won't learn anything if you do all the talking. State your points and make them respond in detail. If they hem and haw, pin them on it and let point out to them that this is why they have problems and that now is a good time for them to grow up and work in a professional manner instead of creating drama where none need be created. Pack you stuff and wish them well.

You should probably read through this thread: If I only knew then... and see what applies to you and learn from it.

If things are discussed and worked out, write it all out and everyone should sign on. IME, if they won't put everything into detailed written form, then they're blowing smoke up your @$$ and conning you.

And don't negotiate away your power. Take a stand and stick by what you believe. They may still replace you later but at least you know where you stand. They have gigs now and need to get ready to earn some money. You're available and don't have to learn the tunes. Sometimes it takes getting replaced for people to learn what they've lost!

Or, just let them know you're moving on. Be sure and get the drummer's contact info for future projects.

good luck. :bassist:
 
Well, I did end up finding out, apparently I was too much of a pain in the butt, with to many opinions, suggestions and well... complaints.. I hind sight, I did have a lot of opinions and comments, but they just were not interested. It seemed that they we making so many bad decisions, and as hard as I tried to just stand there and smile, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. It was their band and in the end, they just want a guy to play what is assigned. What would have been nice it know that going in, but even then I don't think I would have been happy and would have eventually just left on my own.

I think I feel better knowing it was just a personality thing, rather than a performance thing. I doubt, they will ever call me again, which I am ok with.

So in the end, I guess I was doomed with these folks anyway, regardless who came along. You live and you learn, I am getting more opinionated and insistent as I get older and I have to learn when to put it in check.

This spring I am involved with a big Broadway style production with my kids, for which the staff is delighted to have me and loves my critical input and ideas.
 
Well, I did end up finding out, apparently I was too much of a pain in the butt, with to many opinions, suggestions and well... complaints.. I hind sight, I did have a lot of opinions and comments, but they just were not interested.

One thing to consider in the future: learn how to improve your presentation of the opinions, suggestions and complaints.

Sometimes, if you have a solution, just presenting is not the way to go...you have to lead them into seeing what you see...and it's always based on presentation, timing, tone of voice, etc.

My wife is the master of this...I'm still learning.

Good luck.
 
Is this band really a match for you, do they provide what your looking for in a band.

While I really like the people I'm working with now, I still have opinions on material, bookings, song arrangements, set lists ect ect. I am new to the band and I keep all my opinions and ideas to myself.

I'm was lucky to walk into this "turn key" opportunity and I am not going to jeopardize my spot by complaining about anything.

blue