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Laugh with me

Depth_Charge

Depth_Charge

Sep 13, 2006
4,143
182
Perth, Western Australia
#1
Just sharing a laugh.

About a month ago I emailed a guy who was looking for a bass player. I explained my time commitments due to family circumstances and could I grab a a set least so I can see if this band is for me.

Finally a few days ago I got a reply. Waiting on guitarist, no set list yet, but go work on "Orestos" by A Perfect Circle. So I do, for 15 minutes, cos thats all it takes me to learn it and have enough of it.

I email him 2 days later asking for more songs in the style his band plays so I can get a better idea of the band and if it's worth my time etc.

He mails me back saying this project probably isn't for me, that my time commitments were more than other bassists they are talking to have got and that I sound skeptical about his project and I should look to something more towards my tastes (which we never discussed)...but thanks for my time anyway.

I mailed him back that it was no skin off my nose and it's funny how MY time commitments are a potential issue when I was waiting on him this whole time.
 
#3
Depth_Charge said:
Just sharing a laugh.

About a month ago I emailed a guy who was looking for a bass player. I explained my time commitments due to family circumstances and could I grab a a set least so I can see if this band is for me.

Finally a few days ago I got a reply. Waiting on guitarist, no set list yet, but go work on "Orestos" by A Perfect Circle. So I do, for 15 minutes, cos thats all it takes me to learn it and have enough of it.

I email him 2 days later asking for more songs in the style his band plays so I can get a better idea of the band and if it's worth my time etc.

He mails me back saying this project probably isn't for me, that my time commitments were more than other bassists they are talking to have got and that I sound skeptical about his project and I should look to something more towards my tastes (which we never discussed)...but thanks for my time anyway.

I mailed him back that it was no skin off my nose and it's funny how MY time commitments are a potential issue when I was waiting on him this whole time.
Click to expand...

They probably didn't like the fact that you had a family because they had delusions of grandeur that they'd go on tour as soon as the got tight and live like rock star kings. You know like every band does...;) :rollno:

You're better off w/o 'em. They sound young to me.
 
#5
anderbass said:
Being honest and upfront like this is really good thing,
but don't be to surprised if you get brushed aside, in favor of
other prospective bassist that claimed to have lots of free time.
Click to expand...

Yeah I know, it just took me by surprise a bit so I vented here about it a bit.

The dialogue between us was lucky to be 3 paragraphs in total and I sounded keen to learn more about his band in each dialogue too, so his reasoning was a little baffling.

Oh well, water under the bridge now... As they say, staring at the closed doors only helps you miss the ones opening before you...
 
#7
I kinda disagree with the majority here. Sounds like you answered the audition ad by saying "I'm interested, but I'm warning you now I will have other priorities that are more important than your band." While I think the honesty is great, I think it may have been better to see what the deal was first. I think it was awesome of them to be totally upfront with you. Generall people just wouldn't respond and/or give any reason.

I've auditioned people countless times for different things, and if someone answered one of my ads by telling me they had time restrictions due to family issues I too would probably write them off. It IS a potential problem, and you forwarned them. You could (and probably would) say, "Hey, I told you this from the getgo". when something came up and you couldn't make a gig or rehearsal.

I'd hold off on telling those details until after you've got their interest, or simply ask what they're expecting and see if it's something you can actually do.
 
#8
jetpackbassist said:
haha!

sounds like he had found a bassist and was trying to "let you down easy."

and +1 on Maki's comment: they sound like young pups with delusions of grandeur. wish them good luck and move along.
Click to expand...

Yeah, maybe. Let me down from where though? LOL

Moving along doesn't appear problematic either...a few weeks ago I went on a "contact binge" thinking noone wants bass players in this one band town, so I'll try answering all compatible ads!!

Well, this week it caught up to me. I've spoken to a few bands and of the ones that got past first base, the material I'm least familiar with wants to audition me next week, the material I'm next most familiar with is waiting on a bassist to decide which of 2 working bands she wants to work for, and the dream "drop in no rehearse once polished 2 gigs a week cover band that I can play most of their stuff already" recently lost their singer so unless I can sing (which I can't) I need to wait so they can audition us both. So yeah, the options are definately still there for the impatient it seems, and now I've got all this bassline review to do I don't know if I'll have time to find a band... :)

Cheers,
 
#9
Good luck. I started a new band last year and my partner and I decided from the beginning that compatible personality was more important than musicianship (not that that's usually a problem, with older guys like us).

So we started out, me on bass and the other guy on rhythm guitar/vocals, and a drum machine. We did paying jobs with that lineup, then added a lead player, then went through a couple of drummers and a steel player until we settled on our current 4-piece. Everybody's on the same page, everyone's at least a journeyman (should say, journeyperson -- our drummer's female) on his or her instrument, and we can play around 80 songs at the moment.

Another important factor: we've all been in volatile band situations with egos and turf fights over the years, and we have left all that behind. Not that we don't disagree, but feelings don't get hurt like when we were twenty-somethings.

So look for guys you get along with, and perhaps in your own age group [I didn't say, find someone your own age to play with :D ) and you'll be happy sooner.

As I said, good luck, and I'm not being sarcastic. There are many musicians out there (even in the small town I live in) so patience will probably be rewarded.
 
#11
Joe Nerve said:
I kinda disagree with the majority here. Sounds like you answered the audition ad by saying "I'm interested, but I'm warning you now I will have other priorities that are more important than your band." While I think the honesty is great, I think it may have been better to see what the deal was first. I think it was awesome of them to be totally upfront with you. Generall people just wouldn't respond and/or give any reason.

I've auditioned people countless times for different things, and if someone answered one of my ads by telling me they had time restrictions due to family issues I too would probably write them off. It IS a potential problem, and you forwarned them. You could (and probably would) say, "Hey, I told you this from the getgo". when something came up and you couldn't make a gig or rehearsal.

I'd hold off on telling those details until after you've got their interest, or simply ask what they're expecting and see if it's something you can actually do.
Click to expand...

I have to agree here. It's like interviewing for a job, and before you even give them an opportunity to ask you anything, you let them know potential pitfalls they might encounter by hiring you. You shouldn't ever willingly give out any information that could be construed as negative, unless they already have something positive about you with which to make an informed choice.

If it had ever gotten to the point of jamming, auditioning or at least to where they thought you could work out, the idea of your time constraints might well have been a non-issue. But seeing as how that was all they had to go on, you gave them nothing but a negative to judge you on.

Honesty and integrity are wonderful assets. Knowing when to give out honest information doesn't make you less honest.
 
#12
Joe Nerve said:
I kinda disagree with the majority here. Sounds like you answered the audition ad by saying "I'm interested, but I'm warning you now I will have other priorities that are more important than your band." While I think the honesty is great, I think it may have been better to see what the deal was first. I think it was awesome of them to be totally upfront with you. Generall people just wouldn't respond and/or give any reason.
Click to expand...
Mate the guy sat on my info for a month before answering me. Then he didn't have a set list and was waiting for one. Then when I asked after it 2 days later, he tells me he thinks this in not a project for me, like he knows what is and isn't for me after an initial email.

And the deal with me is my family comes first. I I have x amount of time to play out of the house rehearsing and gigging so either the bands I play with mesh with that or they don't and I don't play with them - it's really that simple. I'm not going to waste my time and resources, and take time from my family waiting to find out their deal is incompatible with mine (regardless how pie in the sky theirs is), so if a band feel my commitments won't gel with them I don't even want to load up for a meet and jam.

Joe Nerve said:
I've auditioned people countless times for different things, and if someone answered one of my ads by telling me they had time restrictions due to family issues I too would probably write them off. It IS a potential problem, and you forwarned them. You could (and probably would) say, "Hey, I told you this from the getgo". when something came up and you couldn't make a gig or rehearsal.
Click to expand...
You probably missed out on some great players and people as a result of that choice. Of course, I have no idea what you were auditioning people for, so I might be way off base on that one :)

However, if I agree to work with a band on a project, they will have already agreed with my availability schedules for practices and gigs "from the gitgo" prior to me saying yeah I'll hang.

So if they later told me they agreed for something to "just come up", that would be there problem to solve, not mine, and if their solution is to get rid of me, thats up to them too, they chose to break the arrangement and can deal with any consequences from here on in.

Oh, and by the way, I have a friend who plays bass as well and who has filled in for me on some nights in the past, but that wouldn't come up until the first THEM : "if you're available to play, something might be coming up soon " ME: "no sorry I can't" chat.

I bolded the "if you're available" part to drive my point home that a band is a group of people getting together to play music on a hopefully mutually rewarding basis, while choosing how to behave and treat each other.
 
#13
Sundogue said:
If it had ever gotten to the point of jamming, auditioning or at least to where they thought you could work out, the idea of your time constraints might well have been a non-issue. But seeing as how that was all they had to go on, you gave them nothing but a negative to judge you on.

Honesty and integrity are wonderful assets. Knowing when to give out honest information doesn't make you less honest.
Click to expand...

Thats gold. Put that way, I can understand the prejudice towards people actually talking up their negatives up front :D

Better balance between integrity and timing may be required.

This came up a while before and and while the same conversation took place, it happened after I arranged the jam by email then and walked in, set up and nailed 2 of their original songs, then jammed a few more.

They settled on another bassist too ... but I never did ask to find out why. I really wanted that gig and I didn't want to know if it was my commitments or playing that lost me the gig...
 
#15
Fretless1! said:
You were honest and they were honest. Anything less would just be wrong.
Click to expand...

Well I'd argue they weren't so honest themselves. The ad read "Band seeks bassplayer for original metal band" so I thought I was speaking to a band, not a singer who had no recordings, no covers list for auditions, no drummer and was waiting on his guitarist who was moving house for 3 weeks on a covers list for auditions, but hey go learn Orestos (A Perfect Circle) and he'll email the rest tomorrow.

So I went and learned that first song in maybe 10 minutes, waited a day after he said he would get back to me then emailed him asking I've learned that and what else do they want me to look at? Thats when he cited my time and influences as issues (none of which were discussed) and I laughed at the whole episode and shared it on TB.

Now, I don't particularly mind, in fact I'm quite releaved he didn't try stringing me along for a few weeks first, I actually got the feeling he knew I wasn't gonna roll that way too, but I'm waffling on now so I'll reiterate that to me at least what I was replying to was not, IMO an up front and honest "band seeks bass player" situation, but more a "musicians wanted to form new band" situation, which was not what I believed I was replying to in the first place really, hence I can't agree all parties were completely honest with each other no.
 
#16
Soundogue said the same thing as me, but I think he articulated it better. Didn't mean to put you on the defensive.

My time is incredibly limited due to several things, and I still audition for bands. I question THEM however as to what they're expecting as opposed to telling them my time is limited. I asked the cover band I started playing with recently how often they rehearse, and with his tail btwn his legs the guy said, "well.... uh, we don't really." and I responded with an unexpected, "awesome!".
 
#17
MakiSupaStar said:
...because they had delusions of grandeur that they'd go on tour as soon as the got tight and live like rock star kings. You know like every band does...
Click to expand...

That comment is so true!! Why do so many bands think they're going to instantly live this lavish rock star life and world tours the instant they get the band together. Doesn't happen.

The other thing that cracks me up in the want ads, is when they say they practice 3-4 times a week. Why??!! Do they forget their songs that quickly? Repeadedly going thru the same set over and over and over again burns me out of my mind and is a waste of time.

-Mike
 

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