Little things that count

[two fingers]

Also, the threads here about hiding bass purchases from spouses infuriate me (while also making me appreciate the relationship I have with my wife).

Hiding crap from your wife is a sucker's game and a total wuss move.

"It's easier to get forgiveness than permission" is no better either. Even if you fess up later, you should have talked it out to begin with.

 

[two fingers]

If you want a smash hit song though, write one about giving a back rub that doesn't lead to sex. It's a total fantasy but a good hook.

(Hey cut me I in a little if it works out, will ya?)

 

[slobake]

My wife and I deal with some of the same crappie everyone else does. But we keep it at the house and take care of it in private.

You keep fish in your house?

 

[Gorn]

No you don't look fat. No she's not prettier than you. Yes I'd love it if your mother joined us for lunch. No I'd much rather hang out with you than my friends tonight. No I don't want to go to that bachelor party. No, strippers are gross. I mean...that's somebody's daughter!

 

[petrus61]

When it comes down to it, truly everything a man needs to know.

 

[MJ5150]

Also, the threads here about hiding bass purchases from spouses infuriate me (while also making me appreciate the relationship I have with my wife).

Hiding crap from your wife is a sucker's game and a total wuss move.

"It's easier to get forgiveness than permission" is no better either. Even if you fess up later, you should have talked it out to begin with.

Yep.
I remember seeing those threads. I mostly felt bad for the person. They seemed so proud of themselves for deceiving their spouse.

-Mike

 

[two fingers]

You keep fish in your house?

Edited. Auto correct giving me crap..... or not giving me crap.

 

[jchrisk1]

Putting the toilet seat back down...

I do this as well.....but absolutely DO NOT agree with it. I shouldn't have to do twice the work so that she doesn't have to do any. I mean really, she can't look before sitting down?

 

[S-Bigbottom]

You guys are boring. I'm trying to write a song here. Cleaning your fingernails and changing light bulbs isn't a very good hook.

I got you.

Turning the other cheek when you fart.

Our love will never peak,
I did the laundry for her all week.
put on her favorite movie, we will never part,
Watching cuddled together, I turned the other cheek,
Did not want to vibrate her with, my fart.

(Chorus sung by an appreciative female)
Thank you for turning the other cheek.
I did not feel it, though I sme--ell the reek,
I know it was taco Tuesday, that feeling was strong.
The smell is over, lets cuddle all night long.

 

[Tom Bomb]

Ogden Nash has got a handle on it

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.​

 

[shadowtippy]

I never argue with my wife. Sometimes I dicker, though.

 

[sissy kathy]

I never argue with my wife. Sometimes I dicker, though.

Coffee through my nose; thanks for that.

 

[GuiTuber]

I do this as well.....but absolutely DO NOT agree with it. I shouldn't have to do twice the work so that she doesn't have to do any. I mean really, she can't look before sitting down?

I put the seat and the lid down. If I have to pick up the seat to pee, then she can pick up the lid when she has to go. Now we're doing the same amount of work.

 

[Joe Nerve]

Closing the kitchen cabinets, and put the new roll of tp on when there's only 2 sheets left.

 

[shadowtippy]

I put the seat and the lid down. If I have to pick up the seat to pee, then she can pick up the lid when she has to go. Now we're doing the same amount of work.

I got in that habit because of a cat that would sleep on the seat and fall in toilet. The cat is gone but the habit remains.

 

[fhm555]

In addition to the usual nice things one does for your lover and best friend, here's my list of what works for me. YMMV

Honesty always.

Treat her like a queen in public and a strumpet in the bedroom.

Budget for the luxuries (hers) first.

Tell her every day she's beautiful.

Tell her you love her every time you part, even if it's to go to the loo.

Always be a gentleman (including language) unless circumstances not created by her leave you no choice but resorting to your three dollar act.

Never allow a disagreement to escalate. If she needs to vent, let her. If you need to vent, buy a speed bag.

Manners, only the good ones fellers. Hold her chair for her, open doors for her, turn off your effing phone when you are together, things like that.

Don't try to make her feel important, know she is and it will be conveyed by your actions, not your words.

Spoil her and cherish her.

 

[ChrisB2]

Don't keep squeezing the toothpaste tube down to the last molecule simply because you're stronger and can make her be the one to have to get out the new tube. Get out the new tube for her.

 

[Old Garage-Bander]

No you don't look fat. No she's not prettier than you. Yes I'd love it if your mother joined us for lunch. No I'd much rather hang out with you than my friends tonight. No I don't want to go to that bachelor party. No, strippers are gross. I mean...that's somebody's daughter!

Before we got married, I had one request.
"Don't ever ask me if something makes you look fat."
Almost 28 years now and she never has asked.

 

[Stewie26]

When she farts, blame the cat.

Geez....do you mean that women actually fart???

 

[GuiTuber]

Geez....do you mean that women actually fart???

No, not really. They talk so much it equalizes the pressure.