Look Before You Leap

[bluewine]

Some of you know I had been auditioning over the last 2 months after my band broke up. I love being on stage, I love all aspects of the live performance. Maybe to much.

After several rejections I got an offer from a solid band with sponsorship. So, my search was over, I accepted the offer, everything is good, right? Wrong, something didn’t feel right.

It suddenly hit me, it was 1.5 hour commute one way and I would be required with 2 rehearsals every week. Plus these guys had all these different drop tuning requirements, that would be challenging for me. I knew I had made a mistake.

I asked my teacher how I could get out of it without ticking them off. He asked “How much time have they invested in you?” I said, just the one audition. He said call them and tell them things at work changed and your going to have to travel and that you have to back out.

It worked and they thanked me for my honesty. The lesson here, if your impulsive like me, really sit back and take more time before you accept an offer.

Comments, anyone just have someone just stop showing up and just bail with no notice.

 

[Deleted member 92857]

It worked and they thanked me for my honesty.

Guess you fooled them!!!

 

[drpepper]

I knew I had made a mistake.

Brutal...too bad, man.

 

[ric stave]

lol

 

[bassbully]

I'm sure another gig will be finding you soon Blue. I too love to play and found out a few years ago there are opportunities but those have to fit my lifestyle and time. The first thing I do when i reach out to a band is ask the questions I need to know before we go another step.

I ask..

Band history
Members age/experience,jobs etc.
Are gigs booked?
Average pay per gig?
Drug/alcohol issues?
Practice how much,when,where?
Song list?
tunings?
equipment me/them
expectations for me (as player)
expectations (band)
expenses (any)

I am a very good interviewer a skill I learned from my job dealing with seedy people for years. I know by asking these questions in the first 5 minutes if this person or persons are someone i want to continue talking with or meeting. My system has not failed yet. My time is too valuable to waste and so is yours. Like Blue said slow down and take the time to investigate, ask questions. We all want to gig and get back to it but being in an uncomfortable situation will only lead to another..you finding a way to get out.

 

[bluewine]

I ask..

Band history
Members age/experience,jobs etc.
Are gigs booked?
Average pay per gig?
Drug/alcohol issues?
Practice how much,when,where?
Song list?
tunings?
equipment me/them
expectations for me (as player)
expectations (band)
expenses (any)

Excellent advice

I was impulsive I wanted to get back to being in a band so bad.I got my 1st offer and just said yes without going through the check list.

I liked the guys, the music and level of playing was there and I liked their material.They had shows booked and sponsorship.

What I didn't think enough about was that travel time 1.5 hours one way.If I ws 25 years younger it wouldn't have mattered.

Great list, by the way I have zero toleance for drug use in a band.

 

[bassbully]

I ask..

Band history
Members age/experience,jobs etc.
Are gigs booked?
Average pay per gig?
Drug/alcohol issues?
Practice how much,when,where?
Song list?
tunings?
equipment me/them
expectations for me (as player)
expectations (band)
expenses (any)

Excellent advice

I was impulsive I wanted to get back to being in a band so bad.I got my 1st offer and just said yes without going through the check list.

I liked the guys, the music and level of playing was there and I liked their material.They had shows booked and sponsorship.

What I didn't think enough about was that travel time 1.5 hours one way.If I ws 25 years younger it wouldn't have mattered.

Great list, by the way I have zero toleance for drug use in a band.

I hear ya on the drugs..some drinking is ok. I have been blessed most guys I played with in the last few years are little to no drinking and 100% No drugs at all. I put this list together since I quickly found there was a big need for bass players in my area and if i am out of a band I like you can/could get in a hurry to jump at a band and not check them out first.

A few years ago after asking these questions over the phone to a few bands you should of heard the person on the other end of the line squirm I knew right then and there this would not work for me.
By asking tough questions I am now in the best band I have ever been in to date. We are good ,solid, committed ,honest and team players all looking for the same things for the most part.

A couple of years ago I left the other great band i was in when the 1 hour practice travel got to me after almost 2 years. The gigs for this band were far also. Today I am friends with the bandleader and If he had a bass opening could always go back If i wanted. By being upfront and honest you wont have to burn bridges or get out of bad bands. I see allot of guys on TB asking for advice on band issues and when they explain the band they are in I often wonder "How and why did you pick them to play with?

 

[steveksux]

He said call them and tell them things at work changed and your going to have to travel and that you have to back out.

It worked and they thanked me for my honesty.

Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made...

Randy

 

[Rocks]

I was contacted to audition for a three piece band. I talked to the guy on the phone and everything seemed to be ok, right music, right age and both of us wanting to gig at least 3 times a month. I met the guy at his house and we talked a bit more. He told me about the drummer which turned out to be his son (red flags already) I started thinking with the father having a strong personality the son would probably go along with his dad, leaving me no say in anything to do with the band. I decided to look for another band. I called the guy and told him I was still looking at other bands. The next thing I know, this guy start calling me over and over, first it was about every 15 minutes, then about every hour. The first day he called me about 20 times, getting my voice mail each time. At first the messages were nice but very quickly they got weirder and nastier. I found out very quickly that this guy was an absolute nut case. I am so glad I didn't join, it would have been a nightmare quiting and dealing with this jerk.

 

[Jim Campbell]

I ask..

Band history
Members age/experience,jobs etc.
Are gigs booked?
Average pay per gig?
Drug/alcohol issues?
Practice how much,when,where?
Song list?
tunings?
equipment me/them
expectations for me (as player)
expectations (band)
expenses (any)

Excellent advice

I was impulsive I wanted to get back to being in a band so bad.I got my 1st offer and just said yes without going through the check list.

I liked the guys, the music and level of playing was there and I liked their material.They had shows booked and sponsorship.

What I didn't think enough about was that travel time 1.5 hours one way.If I ws 25 years younger it wouldn't have mattered.

Great list, by the way I have zero toleance for drug use in a band.

i dunno,i think you are setting the bar too high....and in too many areas.....would you turn down a good bunch of guys who met most of your criteria,but smoked some pot.....if you were 25 years younger six hours driving per week would not be a deal breaker,but that is where these guys are at,....if the band is expected to bring booked gigs,and established set lists etc to the table,you can expect them to have a few demands of their own....that is the ideal situation for every established player,and where the competition will be fiercest.....i think you may have let a great opportunity go.....

at 56 you are probably going to have to make more than a few compromises.....happens to all of us,and not just in band situations

 

[bkile]

oh lord, not THE POT! I'm hoping the the OP meant serious drugs like alcohol and prescription pills....you know, the drugs that actually harm people.

But thats just me, I'm all done with the

i dunno,i think you are setting the bar too high....and in too many areas.....would you turn down a good bunch of guys who met most of your criteria,but smoked some pot.....if you were 25 years younger six hours driving per week would not be a deal breaker,but that is where these guys are at,....if the band is expected to bring booked gigs,and established set lists etc to the table,you can expect them to have a few demands of their own....that is the ideal situation for every established player,and where the competition will be fiercest.....i think you may have let a great opportunity go.....

at 56 you are probably going to have to make more than a few compromises.....happens to all of us,and not just in band situations

 

[Skitch it!]

I ask..

Band history
Members age/experience,jobs etc.
Are gigs booked?
Average pay per gig?
Drug/alcohol issues?
Practice how much,when,where?
Song list?
tunings?
equipment me/them
expectations for me (as player)
expectations (band)
expenses (any)

Excellent advice

I was impulsive I wanted to get back to being in a band so bad.I got my 1st offer and just said yes without going through the check list.

I liked the guys, the music and level of playing was there and I liked their material.They had shows booked and sponsorship.

What I didn't think enough about was that travel time 1.5 hours one way.If I ws 25 years younger it wouldn't have mattered.

Great list, by the way I have zero toleance for drug use in a band.

IMO, That list is a little bit stiff isn't it? , I think if I attempted that grill on the phone by question 6 all I'd hear is a click on the end of the line, then silence.

Of course it's always good to have an early insight of what the 'scene' is there, but IME I've found you never get told exactly what the 'intrinsics' are, until your looking at them

 

[bluewine]

The first day he called me about 20 times, getting my voice mail each time. At first the messages were nice but very quickly they got weirder and nastier. I found out very quickly that this guy was an absolute nut case. I am so glad I didn't join, it would have been a nightmare quiting and dealing with this jerk.

I a glad I started this post if not for anything for this reply.

For new guys not familiar with the pitfalls of auditioning, being able to detect red flags befor you actually meet with a band can save you a lot of head aches. .

"How To Avoid The Nut Case" could be a thread on it's own.

I will throw one Red Flag out there;

You talk to a guy on the phone about his ad for bass player and somewhere in the conversation he starts name dropping famous stars that he is networked with. My advice, if this happens don't go any further with the opportunity.

 

[bluewine]

at 56 you are probably going to have to make more than a few compromises.....happens to all of us,and not just in band situations

Hmmm, a little pot. I can see driving home from a show with a band member and he lights up. Then we get pulled over by the authorities. No thanks.

Jim, your right, I may have missed a good opportunity.
However,if you looked at that pile of cars which is on the Inter State any time I would have to travel to a rehearsal would make you think twice too.

The main reason was travel time, however there was something else too. At 57 you can sort of sense certain things.Something else was wrong. I can't tell you what it was, I don't know. It was a gut feeling that this was not for me.

 

[bassbully]

Hmmm, a little pot. I can see driving home from a show with a band member and he lights up. Then we get pulled over by the authorities. No thanks.

Jim, your right, I may have missed a good opportunity.
However,if you looked at that pile of cars which is on the Inter State any time I would have to travel to a rehearsal would make you think twice too.

The main reason was travel time, however there was something else too. At 57 you can sort of sense certain things.Something else was wrong. I can't tell you what it was, I don't know. It was a gut feeling that this was not for me.

Is my list a bit stiff..of course..demanding..no. I do compromise but only if i agree to it. Would I want to miss out on a good band if they were Pot smoker's. absolutely! I don't have time for it ..wont allow it. My list has never been an issue and it appears that some even here on TB have effected by it and that is what its for. It weeds out those i can or cant work with can't answer the questions. If they do answer them and I find out they are lying then I deal with it. One thing I have found out is the weekend band world is full of dishonest people. Bands always have gigs,good pay a place to practice they are always good,great songs,good members going to make it tour's ,have recordings,groupie's. I have only been back to gigging and bands about 9 years now and i have seen and heard it all.

FWIW this list also lets me know if I match up to their wants and needs for a bass player not just my own. I might not have the skills for what they need or want to play the type of music they play. I once answered and ad for a bassist in our city for a working band. I talked to the keyboard player who asked me some basic questions by phone. He said "Great when can you come to a practice? I said 'whoa' I knew all about this band a very good blues band with allot of gigs well know in our area and I was excited but not sure if I was ready for it. I asked the list questions on music and he said "Oh yeah you have to be a good reader since we never practice more than a few times a year. We just show up the gigs and everyone plays off sheet music that's passed out for the show.

I said thanks but I don't read.He said that he didn't see it working out and thanked me for asking him about the music and not taking his invite to come out. He even said he should of explained the job better...but he didn't. After that phone call I started my list. Imagine if I would of went to that practice.Waste of their time and mine...I cant afford that.

 

[Skitch it!]

Is my list a bit stiff..of course..demanding..no. I do compromise but only if i agree to it. Would I want to miss out on a good band if they were Pot smoker's. absolutely! I don't have time for it ..wont allow it. My list has never been an issue and it appears that some even here on TB have effected by it and that is what its for. It weeds out those i can or cant work with can't answer the questions. If they do answer them and I find out they are lying then I deal with it. One thing I have found out is the weekend band world is full of dishonest people. Bands always have gigs,good pay a place to practice they are always good,great songs,good members going to make it tour's ,have recordings,groupie's. I have only been back to gigging and bands about 9 years now and i have seen and heard it all.

FWIW this list also lets me know if I match up to their wants and needs for a bass player not just my own. I might not have the skills for what they need or want to play the type of music they play. I once answered and ad for a bassist in our city for a working band. I talked to the keyboard player who asked me some basic questions by phone. He said "Great when can you come to a practice? I said 'whoa' I knew all about this band a very good blues band with allot of gigs well know in our area and I was excited but not sure if I was ready for it. I asked the list questions on music and he said "Oh yeah you have to be a good reader since we never practice more than a few times a year. We just show up the gigs and everyone plays off sheet music that's passed out for the show.

I said thanks but I don't read.He said that he didn't see it working out and thanked me for asking him about the music and not taking his invite to come out. He even said he should of explained the job better...but he didn't. After that phone call I started my list. Imagine if I would of went to that practice.Waste of their time and mine...I cant afford that.

Fair enough, you know what satisfies on a personal level for yourself. IME I'm a bit more wary of 'drinkers' rather than 'tokers', the most messed up stuff I've had the misfortune to witness has always nearly been down to alcohol and too much of it. Of course I understand your reasons, we each gravitate to our preferred Modus operandi, but I will say....try not to paint everyone with the same brush

 

[bluewine]

Fair enough, you know what satisfies on a personal level for yourself. IME I'm a bit more wary of 'drinkers' rather than 'tokers', the most messed up stuff I've had the misfortune to witness has always nearly been down to alcohol and too much of it. Of course I understand your reasons, we each gravitate to our preferred Modus operandi, but I will say....try not to paint everyone with the same brush

I was a teenage musician once and I know about weed and drink.

I guess at 57 I know that the real "kick" is working hard and making the best music possible. For me, that means no distractions at all.

Some of you will not like this;

Whether it's a rehearsal or live show, for me it's all about knowing my job and being in control. No matter who you are, once weed or drink comes into the picture, while you might think so, you are no longer in control.

Feel free to quote me on that one.

BTW, isn't there enough crap that can happin during a show that you truly have no control over?

 

[Skitch it!]

I was a teenage musician once and I know about weed and drink.

I guess at 57 I know that the real "kick" is working hard and making the best music possible. For me, that means no distractions at all.

Some of you will not like this;

Whether it's a rehearsal or live show, for me it's all about knowing my job and being in control. No matter who you are, once weed or drink comes into the picture, while you might think so, you are no longer in control.

Feel free to quote me on that one.


BTW, isn't there enough crap that can happin during a show that you truly have no control over?

There isn't anything wrong with your take on this...I've seen it happen myself, I understand what your saying....the bottom line regarding this IMO is self disipline, limits and control...the long time working bands/sessions/dep's I've worked have never been on my case, I've never given them an excuse to.

Your not wrong, and I'm probably not right, but that's just my interest IME.

Anyway, this isn't a drug debate, and I do not advocate at all, IME when choice stops becoming choice, then it's a problem in that field.

 

[bassbully]

Pot/alcohol its all bad in a band if its consumed in excess. I have had some of both in bands I "was" in and it lead to me leaving in one way or another. I can say I have been lucky and have played with mostly sober gents. I see allot of local bands I wouldn't dream of playing with for a second due to drugs and alcohol...good bands mind you.

By me keeping high standards I offer the same back. In return any band or bandleader I have played with will tell anyone I am what I say I am ..I walk the walk. I expect the same. This is why I need that list for my protection as well as their own.

 

[Thunderthumbs73]

It suddenly hit me, it was 1.5 hour commute one way and I would be required with 2 rehearsals every week.

My general sense of it is that my commute to a practice must not be as long as the time spent in practice, itself. That's kinda my threshold. In your case, that would be 3 hours practice, minimum, in addition to 3 hours of commute for 6 hours an evening, times two, per week, apart from any gigs that would occur.

I wouldn't want to do that. And never have. But to each their own...