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More directed toward teens: Parents

S

SMILEYSIXX

Dec 29, 2009
1,614
25
#1
Do they give you grief when you wanna mod your basses? My dad, every time I get an idea, goes off about me not needing to change anything. "If they wanted it that way, they would've put it there!"

Not like I ask for his money, I use what I get from working. Most recently was an idea to drop another pup in one of my basses so I bought a concentric pot and knobs (myself), and he went off.

Am I the only one?
 
#5
To counter the post above, why not take one of your basses (seems like you have a couple) or even a couple of them and designate them modding basses. Explain to him these are personal projects.

Or buy a cheaper one to mod. Tom Morello's got a guitar he bought for $60 in a Pawnshop and modded himself.
 
#7
My parents considered cello to be my "serious" instrument, and so they didn't care too much what I did to my electric bass. I de-fretted my Fender Mustang while I was in high school, and restored an upright bass.

At the same time, we did our own repairs to the cello. I learned a lot about being handy and resourceful from my parents.
 
#8
oniman7 said:
What does he do for a living? turn it around on him.
Click to expand...

I don't wanna turn it around because it's a tad immature and will only piss him off more. I recall one time me and my dad stopped by a GC and I wanted pickups to replace the stock ones in my beginner bass and he does the whole "if it ain't broke don't fix it" thing. Earlier that day, he had his car windows tinted and was buying a new stereo to replace the one in his car that he had just bought. The hypocrisy is there and it's blatantly obvious, but when it comes to dads like that, logic is meaningless.
 
#11
Next time you go to GC, have him talk to the tech there so he can explain it to him.

If he argues further, tell him you need it for different tones. If he still doesn't understand (he probably won't), tell him to picture Sting playing with Slipknot. Explain that the difference in their playing styles is caused by their tone. This may not be the complete truth (or even mostly true at all) but it might help hi understand.
 
#12
oniman7 said:
Next time you go to GC, have him talk to the tech there so he can explain it to him.

If he argues further, tell him you need it for different tones. If he still doesn't understand (he probably won't), tell him to picture Sting playing with Slipknot. Explain that the difference in their playing styles is caused by their tone. This may not be the complete truth (or even mostly true at all) but it might help hi understand.
Click to expand...

Not a bad way to go...
 
#13
I've found this to be true more with my fiancée in regards to putting a new radio in our 2001 Camry. (I know, off-topic, but it relates) She doesn't understand what's wrong with the factory radio (nothing really; I'm just a semi-audiophile)

In regards to basses, my family and fiancée don't understand the difference between a Jazz and Precision, etc. I would like to possibly upgrade the pickups in one of my Squiers someday, but I bet they won't see the purpose of it.


NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!!

:D

Here's an idea: Is he a car man? What is his hobby? Fishing? Model trains? Almost all hobbies involve working with specific components. If he's a car man, say it's like putting a new air filter in, or carbon fiber brake pads. If he's a fisher, tell him it's like swapping out the reels and that junk. If he's into tinkering with electronics (he should be more understanding) but tell him it's like putting a new sound card in a computer or a new processor modem thingy in your home computer.

Bottom line: these add-ons all make you feel as though the gear you're using is designed for and around YOU.

Analogy is your friend!
 
#14
bassist4dalord said:
Here's an idea: Is he a car man? What is his hobby? Fishing? Model trains? Almost all hobbies involve working with specific components. If he's a car man, say it's like putting a new air filter in, or carbon fiber brake pads. If he's a fisher, tell him it's like swapping out the reels and that junk. If he's into tinkering with electronics (he should be more understanding) but tell him it's like putting a new sound card in a computer or a new processor modem thingy in your home computer.
Click to expand...

That's good advice! Furthermore, if he doesn't have a hobby then he NEEDS one as well. Then he'll understand. Nothing is sadder then to see someone retire without at least one hobby already in progress (I've seen this happen quite a few times).

I was lucky growing up. My parents were far from perfect on many levels, but one thing they did understand was my desire to take apart everything I've ever owned and modify it to my liking. One very early memory is that they were horrified when I took apart my brand new AFX slot cars to match the best chassis with the the best bodies (you want your best looking cars to be the fastest, right!). Once they realized 'that's just what he does' and that eventually that this developing skill would mean that I could fix just about anything around the house, they became more appreciative. It now kills me to pay anyone to do anything for me without trying it myself first - not to save money, but for the satisfaction of doing it myself.

My S.O. and I have a long-standing policy where we don't question each other's hobbies. She knows that buying and selling instruments or hi-fi gear is almost always a losing proposition in the end, but she's fine with it. She and I just make sure we don't spend beyond our means. Whether we need or want it then becomes irrelevant.
 
#15
Plays_For_Dog said:
Tell him that when he buys it with his money, you will take his oppinion. Until then, you are spending your money and making your own decisions with it. He needs to accept you're growing up and that your business isn't always his anymore.
Click to expand...
LOL! This gets my vote for "Worst Idea In a Post" for the week.

Those arguments NEVER work. The first thing a smart dad would say is, "If you're such a grown up, then I'll start charging you RENT". Then Sixx won't have any money to mod basses cuz he'll be paying his dad rent. I've seen it done...and that's what I would do too.

Sixx, I'm not sure exactly the dynamic of your relationship with your father. I guess I don't understand how or why he even knows about your modding projects. I like the other ideas offered about having one bass (preferrably the one your DAD thinks is nicest) to be your "serious" bass that you don't mod then have another bass or two that are "project" basses for you to "play around with". Remind him that you will only spend SOME of the money that YOU earn on it and will not ask him for any money for it. If my teenage son approached me about it that way, I'd probably let him do it.

Also, if your dad is handy with wood, tools, or any of that stuff it might be clever to invite him to help you. Right now, he's scared of you ruining something that looks expensive. Dads want to feel needed. If he feels that you need his "manly" guidance on a project, he might warm up to it and actually end up being your biggest supporter. It could be a good focal point for the two of you go spend some time together and build a stronger relationship. Only you know if this is possible. Some dads are a real pain and if you let them in on your project, they start to take over and boss you around about everything.

Only you know what your family is like, but I will say that it sounds like your dad is trying to protect you from making mistakes that you'll be sorry for later...and that's a good sign.
 
#18
My dad used to give me a little grief about modding, heck even adjusting things when I first started. But as I got into my late teens he trusted I knew what I was doing by then. I did talk about playing music constantly, I even demonstrated many things to him. As I said, took a while but I had proven myself.
As a father myself now, I understand that he was just trying to protect me from making mistakes that I may have regretted. He just wanted to know I had a solid plan.
 

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