• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Music income to replace wife's job - thoughts needed

jaywa

jaywa

May 5, 2008
7,702
283
Iowa City, IA
#1
Hey everyone. My wife has a decent playing job but the environment in her office has gotten pretty toxic and she realizes it's not a good "fit". She feels like she may get let go and so we are working through contingencies if that happens and/or if she can quit before it does. As everywhere, the market for jobs here is not good and so we could potentially be a 1-income (mine) household for some time. If this happens, the money I make from gigging would wind up helping pay bills vs. now where we are considering it my "private stash" to spend however I want (right now it is being saved-up for an amp and another bass). So essentially we would be going from my full-time job + her full-time job + my gig income down to my full-time job + my gig income + whatever temp or part time work she can pick up, if any.

I am having some trouble dealing with this on a couple of levels. First of course, knowing that under this new arrangement my gear upgrades would be delayed indefinitely. I have put off these purchases for years so the fact of waiting even longer is not making me happy. Second, even if my gigs keep coming in at the rate they did this year (which was my best ever), I know there is no guarantee that will continue and I'm really not comfortable factoring music income into our "revised" family budget at all.

Would love to hear from others who are facing or have worked through this situation. Just FYI, we tried doing the 1-income thing a few years ago after my wife lost her last job and it was a total disaster. We got WAY in the hole.

Thanks in advance.
 
#2
As long as BOTH of you are willing to sacrifice, you should be fine. You throw your gig money in the family pile for a while, and SHE should be willing to take on a job, (or jobs) that may not be up to her standards. You both give up a little and everything should coast along just fine until a "real" job comes along for her. I've played for a living in my area but I know nothing aboud SD. If your number of gigs has continued to climb this year (and in this economy) you must be reliable and worthy of having around. So the number of gigs should be fine. Best of luck!
 
#3
Sucking up your pride on this one is big, in regards to getting a "temp" job; there are a ton of "help wanted" signs at Lowe's, grocery stores, etc.. around my area that I would normally consider "below me" at this point. However, if I lost my job, I'd go to all of them strictly for cash flow.

So I agree, if your wife can sacrifice for that (assuming that you have the same type of situation), I'd sacrifice my gig money as well (which is going into a gig fund, like you). Who knows, maybe it would turn out that she enjoys the other one so much that when she finds a "real" job again, she keeps the other as a PT.
 
#4
two fingers said:
If your number of gigs has continued to climb this year (and in this economy) you must be reliable and worthy of having around. So the number of gigs should be fine.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the compliment. Yeah my gig income has increased every year, #1 cause after about 3 years my main band finally broke into the regular rotation at a couple of the big venues in town, and #2 from picking up more sub gigs with other bands thru word of mouth. Basically, the average pay per gig has gotten better and there have been more gigs. But if something should happen to my main band or those big venues decide they don't like us anymore, my gig income would probably go south in a hurry. It's not like you can just put another band together and be booking $1,200 weekends in a couple of months around here.

Good thoughts, keep 'em coming.
 
#5
Like others have said, you have to sacrifice here. It`s not a question or an option when it comes to supporting your family.

That said, your wife needs to understand that gig money is not stable and is likely to fluctuate between good months and bad. She has to be willing to sacrifice here "standard" level of work to provide for the family as well. Hopefully she understands that nothing is embarrassing, degrading, etc... when it comes to putting food on the table.

One last bit of advice, learn to buy things with, and only with money on hand. It forces you to be much more strict when buying items like food, bathroom essentials, etc... and doesn`t allow you any leeway to buy unneeded junk.
 
#6
jmattbassplaya said:
One last bit of advice, learn to buy things with, and only with money on hand. It forces you to be much more strict when buying items like food, bathroom essentials, etc... and doesn`t allow you any leeway to buy unneeded junk.
Click to expand...

Yeah this is where it's going to get tough. We have a lot of "overhead"... mortgage, two car payments, student loans, credit card debt etc. We are certainly not living what most would consider the "high life" but we do have a fair number of financial commitments we have to maintain and the last thing we want to do is go into debt any farther. Downsizing our house/mortgage is really not an option due to some other circumstances I'd rather not get into. There just is not that much discretionary income to cut unless you want to get into things like cell phones (and me not having a cell phone would be a bad move for my gigging prospects). We've been checking out the Dave Ramsey thing a lot lately and he makes a lot of sense but it would hard enough for us to implement his methods on two incomes, much less one.
 
#7
jaywa said:
Hey everyone. My wife has a decent playing job but the environment in her office has gotten pretty toxic and she realizes it's not a good "fit". She feels like she may get let go and so we are working through contingencies if that happens and/or if she can quit before it does. As everywhere, the market for jobs here is not good and so we could potentially be a 1-income (mine) household for some time. If this happens, the money I make from gigging would wind up helping pay bills vs. now where we are considering it my "private stash" to spend however I want (right now it is being saved-up for an amp and another bass). So essentially we would be going from my full-time job + her full-time job + my gig income down to my full-time job + my gig income + whatever temp or part time work she can pick up, if any.

I am having some trouble dealing with this on a couple of levels. First of course, knowing that under this new arrangement my gear upgrades would be delayed indefinitely. I have put off these purchases for years so the fact of waiting even longer is not making me happy. Second, even if my gigs keep coming in at the rate they did this year (which was my best ever), I know there is no guarantee that will continue and I'm really not comfortable factoring music income into our "revised" family budget at all.

Would love to hear from others who are facing or have worked through this situation. Just FYI, we tried doing the 1-income thing a few years ago after my wife lost her last job and it was a total disaster. We got WAY in the hole.

Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

Jaywa,

If you have to throw your gig money in to pay the bills for a while, just remember it's only temporary. Your wife WILL find a new job, and you will look like the hero for unselfishly giving all you can to make the ends meet.
It happens in our house all the time. Sometimes it's me not making as much, and sometimes it's her. We just throw all of what we make together. Some months we have extra and we put it in a joint savings account. But I do play music for a living and it can be very lean at times as well. The idea is that we are a team, and who cares who makes what as long as we are both doing our best, and the bills are getting paid.
We also don't buy anything that we don't absolutely have to have. Beside the house bills, grocerys are our big expense around here.

With that said,
You never know maybe she will land an excellent job with great pay........ tomorrow! Always keep in mind that the next time your/her phone rings it could be the call that changes everything. Who knows, maybe a resume she put out a year ago or a contact that she made will call and she might have an excellent job opportunity out of it. Or you will land another amazing gig with great pay. I only say this because almost every great opportunity I've ever had seemed to come out of nowhere.

But, it only 'seems' to come out of nowhere though, it is something you did or someone you met and had forgotten about, or you thought was no big deal at the time. That stuff just has a way of coming back to you.

Here is a question, has she looked for any jobs yet? It always seems a better time to quit the current job if you have another one to go to. I know the job market is tough but it's worth searching for a bit just to see what you are up against if she were to quit.

I wish you and your wife the best of luck!

Craig
 
#10
jaywa;8013471 We have a lot of "overhead"... mortgage said:
Since you and your wife cannot make it on one income, all remaining income should be on the table.

I suggest writing up a detailed budget for the next year.

Some student loans can be deferred based on financial circumstances.

Sell stuff that you don't absolutely need.

Put your rig upgrades on hold.

Any type of job available should not be off limits.

Don't use your credit cards any more.

Review all your insurances/expenses and shop for better deals.

Good luck.
Click to expand...
 
#11
jaywa said:
Yeah this is where it's going to get tough. We have a lot of "overhead"... mortgage, two car payments, student loans, credit card debt etc. We are certainly not living what most would consider the "high life" but we do have a fair number of financial commitments we have to maintain and the last thing we want to do is go into debt any farther.
Click to expand...

If you are carrying that much debt, then you shouldn't even be buying gear in the first place.
 
#12
Been there. Items to consider cutting out of budget - cable / satellite TV (I lived in Rapid City SD for a # of years, so know this is about the only way to get TV - live with the DVDs you have on hand for a while...) Keep heat in house down to high 60s, no higher than 72; wear sweats / sweaters etc. Electric blankets can be used when sitting reading etc not just on bed, and a lot less expensive! If it comes time to renew cell phone plan, get less expensive plan. Drop the house phone/land line if you have one. Buy generic foods, vitamins, etc. wherever/whenever possible. Sometimes you can negotiate with your mortgage lender on temporarily lowering the mortgage payments. It's worth a shot, anyway. As said above, have your spouse out there looking for another job NOW; it's easier to find a job that's a better fit if you're still employed. Hope everything works out for the best.
 
#14
UPDATE: Right now it looks like my wife is going to try and gut it out at her current job awhile longer. But we are looking for a replacement job for her in case they don't give her that option, and/or she can tell them to stick it and have something else to go to right away.

Until this situation resolves itself one way or another, my gear purchases are off the table. What's another year or whatever, right? Fortunately, I'm getting gigs with the stuff I have.
 
#15
If she does lose or quit her job, coupons. Coupons, coupons, coupons. We save $30 or more everytime we go grocery shopping by using every coupon we can. That's a lot of money when you are stretched out pretty thin.:) Come to think of it, that's a lot of money, period.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back