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Music store employee horror stories???

Let's see......the guy that bought a pair drumsticks, swallowed the change and then ate the reciept. Then the guy that walked in wearing slippers, hospital blues with an access card around his neck and bought a Squier Strat, an Epiphone Les Paul and after 'playing' a tenor sax without a mouthpiece bought that too. Surprisingly didn't return any of them.
Then there was the guy that walked in wearing the baggiest pants and a large overcoat in 90 deg. weather, obviously there to steal something so I literally stood beside him watching and waiting until he couldn't bear it and right beside me took a Gibson off the hook and stuffed it under his arm. He turned around, I asked him for the guitar and he handed it to me and said "well, I didn't leave the store so you can't charge me. I'm not stupid." :meh: