Music store employee horror stories???

[Bagusys]

From the dude barking at me over pickups cuz he didn’t know what Seymour Duncan or a Dimebucker was, to Brandon Boyd, greatest Djembe player of all time’s, number one fan insisting that Djembe stands are not a thing that exist and refused to help me, all the way to the snobby 16 year old brat who nearly died of a heart attack because I played metal on a Fender, I have hundreds of Music Store horror stories and I hope you do too.
Story time!!!
Let’s hear some of your best.
And go...

 

[Michedelic]

I guess you haven’t kept up with GC bashing threads.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

I have a coupon you sent me, can I use it on anything in this store?

Nope.



(for comic relief only)

 

[JTE]

They guy who bought an expensive Guild 12-string from us but didn't want to spend the $100 for the case. He banged it against the brick flower bed wall outside our store on the way out the door...

The kid who bought a brand new acoustic guitar (Yamaha FG-335) and brought it back four days later claiming we'd sold him a used guitar because of the scratches clear down into the wood on the back. He was wearing an oversized belt buckle with the shark from "Jaws" on it- the everyone in the store heard the sound when he sat down and the guitar hit the teeth of the brass shark.

The Stevie Ray Wannabee that came in to get some single strings. He needed 13's but they had to be "E 13s, not G 13s"

They guy who broke the G string on a five-string bass tuned B-G because he thought it should be tuned E-C. He said "Why would anyone want the low notes on a bass guitar?"

Those are some of my favorite stories as a music store employee...

 

[fhm555]

While i’ve had unpleasant experiences with sales types in many places, i can’t recall any from music stores, but i can’t recall any specific instances from any other place either. I tend to cut them off at the first hint of bull poopie and never return to those places employing dipshits who think aggressive pressure is the way to my wallet. Then i scrub the experience from my hard drive, retaining only the knowledge of where to never shop again.

 

[dramatwist]

...worked in a music store in the early 90s as a teacher and tech... the owner was insufferable...

 

[LBS-bass]

Well, there was the one time we received a shipment of keyboards that were highly coveted and on backorder. I didn't have a floor model and we weren't planning to put one out because we couldn't keep them in stock anyway, so why devalue one by taking it out of the box?

One guy asked me to call him when we got them in, so I did. Even though I had a line of other customers who wanted to buy one, I wanted to make sure everyone on my list had an opportunity to purchase one in the order they expressed interest.

He wanted to test drive one before he bought it so I took it out of the warehouse and set it up for him. After taking up at least an hour of my time, the guy still wanted it, but tried to tell me it was now a floor model and he should get a discount because it was no longer new and in the box. I showed him the list of people who were waiting to buy it and said that me taking it out to demo specifically for him because he asked me to didn't count, sorry, and that just wouldn't be possible because I could still sell it for full price to any of those other people and ship it out to someone else that same day. They were nearly impossible to get and people were offering more than street price just to get their hands on one. The touring and studio guys didn't care if it was in a box or not; they just wanted one.

He ended up buying it, but what a pain that was when I could have just had the warehouse ship it to the next guy on my list.

The same guy also told lots of lies about who he was and who he worked with. I knew the people he was claiming to be "on tour" with and I knew he was not their keyboard player, but I pretended I didn't.

 

[Slater]

He wanted to test drive one before he bought it so I took it out of the warehouse and set it up for him. After taking up at least an hour of my time, the guy still wanted it, but tried to tell me it was now a floor model and he should get a discount because it was no longer new and in the box. I showed him the list of people who were waiting to buy it and said that me taking it out to demo specifically for him because he asked me to didn't count, sorry, and that just wouldn't be possible because I could still sell it for full price to any of those other people and ship it out to someone else that same day. They were nearly impossible to get and people were offering more than street price just to get their hands on one. The touring and studio guys didn't care if it was in a box or not; they just wanted one.

No soup for you! Next!…

 

[LBS-bass]

No soup for you! Next!…

Seriously I could have had them all sold over the phone in the time that guy wasted.

 

[brocket]

One I remember from when I worked at GC over a decade ago-

An old timer came in and was looking at a nice Martin acoustic right at closing time. First, the intonation was "off", and no, I couldn't fix it right then and there, partly because it was fine. Next, the neck was "wavy" even though no one else could see what he was talking about. Then he wanted to make sure it had scalloped bracing. I said that yes, acoustic guitars use scalloped bracing. When I did not have specific, confirmed knowledge for that specific model, he wanted to look inside. Fortunately we had a dental mirror, so I just handed that to him. He haggled on the price, and I didn't do nearly what I could have, because it had been clear for a long time that he was an overzealous tire kicker. While I was trying to close up, he mentioned to our sweet door girl that he had a guitar he was looking to trade it. She encouraged him to go get it, told him we'd work out a deal, and was so excited to tell me about it when I got back. So he brings in a normal, run of the mill acoustic. I quote him a low ball price to see if he'd get the hint, and instead I get a long story about home much it cost, how it compares to guitars now, etc. At one point the door girl tried to be helpful and mentioned a price, which the guy jumped on, which only dragged this out even further. Finally, he gave an ultimatum- "the Martin at $xxx and $xxx for my trade in or I'm walking." I just said "No" (which I had already said a number of times in the preceding 60 minutes). He walks out in a huff, and my manager walks up and says, "Did you close it?" No, I did not close the deal with the tire kicker I had been asking you to give the boot to for the last hour. There was never a deal to be made, and had I made the deal, I would have ended up in your office for making such a bad deal.

 

[LBS-bass]

There was never a deal to be made, and had I made the deal, I would have ended up in your office for making such a bad deal.

Yep, same here. If I'd offered to discount something that was so much in demand, I'd have had my head handed to me on a platter by the store owner.

 

[JTE]

Not to diminish the story brocket, but not all acoustic guitars, nor all Martin's even have scalloped braces. Martin used to, then stopped, the started again using scalloped braces on certain models.

 

[brocket]

Not to diminish the story

Good to know! Thanks! I think after “discovering” two issues with the guitar, the bracing question and the way he asked about it just really took it over the top. I just gave an answer since it didn’t really matter what I said at that point. And I was hungry and wanted to eat.

 

[fourstringdrums]

As a drummer I went to GC for a single ply coated head. They didn't have the one I needed but I was offered a 2 ply pre-muffled clear head. Another employee had never heard of Charlie Watts.

 

[Neko]

As a customer, I once asked to ear the red witch eve tremolo with a bass, the sales person plug it and play, no effect, turn the pots, no effect either. He started to say that it was a very subtle pedal and that if I wanted a good trem, I should take wathever the boutique amp that was around (a...guitar amp). He wasnt in the knowing that the upper light was indicating that the batterie inside that pedal was charging, not that the pedal was on...that and the time I asked about a cheap, zoom style guitar multi fx for the guitarist of my band to come play at my place, on my bass amp with a somehow usable sound. He showed me a tweed deluxe saying that if I wanted quality, I should grab one of those...employee of the year I call him, but he doesnt get the sarcasm.

 

[Tedward]

Bought a set of strings for my bass at GC. D'Adarrio flat chromes. When I started to string it up (I had already strung up the E,A,and D strings I noticed the pack had two "D" strings. Took the bass and "D" sting back to show them what was going on. The sales person went to get the last set and brought it back to me. I opened it and it also had two D strings. Couldn't use the old strings because I cut them off so they were no good. I told him the old strings were unusable so he goes over to the luthier station and grabs a string and says no charge. It was a wound round. I told him "that won't work". Ended up getting a set EB cobalt flats in extange.

Tedward

 

[voodoobassist]

Not really a horror story, but still one of my fav music store stories that brings a chuckle anytime I recall it.

Church guys were always the worst on trying to beat you up on prices. I was working a deal on 5 wireless Shure handhelds with a pastor and his music minister. They were haggling like there was no tomorrow. They had already taken up almost an hour of my time demoing the mics and being fairly obnoxious with their attitudes. Such is sales though, you learn to deal with it.

I had already matched the lowest internet price we could find, and they didn't have to pay tax because of their church affiliation. But they still wanted more, "throw in some speaker cables and mic cables for free". I had just quit smoking the day before and was "feeling the burn". I told them I was sorry, but I couldn't give them free cables, but would match the lowest price we could find online.

When I went to search the net for cables, I had a brain fart and couldn't recall the brand to save my life. I apologized and told them I was a bit scrambled because of having just quit smoking. They immediately went into, "turn that over to God son, he'll take that burden off your back" "smokings a sin and you can be healed of it if you give your life to God" Not exactly what I was in the mood to hear at that moment. Good intentioned or not, I was craving that nic pretty badly.

My manager, who was sitting close by and playing guitar while listening, had had enough of them. He smiled and asked the two of them, "Have you turned your overeating problem over to the Lord?" Both of them were on the heavy side.

Needless to say,...I didn't get the sale.

 

[velascorp]

I was Numb for a Day.
I worked in a music store almost 25 years . At one time it was near a Substance Rehab and Homeless shelter. I have stories no one believes, and stories that are hilarious. (Musicians and Derelicts in one area.... what could go wrong?)
I was alone working up front on a counter re-stringing a 3/4 size electric Bass ( Like a Tesco Del Rey ) and a man in Army-like camouflage fatigues Staggers through the door in front of me . He is dirty ,head down, with eyes squinted almost shut and long scraggy hair on sides balding on top. (See it? ) He slowly walks up to me , hands in his pockets (never a good sign) , and stops.
In like a trance, looking down , he slowly starts to rock forward and back. Then his head slowly starts shaking a "no" gesture .
I was about to say something , when he slowly, heavily whispered.

"ohhhhhh, the voices......they want to kill me. but, but i don't want to die...... i don't want to die. ( His head starts to shake yes) but i'm ready..... i'm ready to die......."
At that moment he stopped rocking, looked up at me with the biggest Bloodshot Eyes and
in a deep growl like voice said,
"AND I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME"

He stepped back one step and was slowly removing his hands in his pockets.
At this time I gently picked up the little bass at the neck with both hands, body is over my head and pretend to be looking up at the frets. ( I quickly thought this could be my "equalizer")
With my heart in my throat , I quickly yelled at him , with the bass still in air "DO YOU WANT TO BUY SOMETHING?!!!"
Like a Cowboy Western , facing me still, he slowly started walking backwards toward the door. His hands were still in his pockets. When he got to the door, we whipped out his hands.
He had a red lighter, and a tissue .
He then yelled, "BOING!"
A few minutes later my co-workers came back in from lunch. I was sitting down probably with eyes fixed on the door.. One asked when they saw me , "You Ok?"
I never saw the Evil G.I. Joe again.

 

[Joe Nerve]

1999. The only MM dealer in my area. Big place in LI, can't think of the name right now... probably for good reason. They've since closed, anyhow.

Was checking out MM Sterlings with my girlfriend (now wife). The owner asked me what I was looking for and I told him a Sterling with a maple fretboard - but I didn't like the colors of any of the ones they had that were maple. He said it wasn't a big deal, he could switch necks. I said cool, and continued to check them out - they had several. I found one I liked but it was rosewood, and I walked it over to him and asked if he could swap the necks...

He said, "Get out!"

I was dumbfounded. I'm the most respectful music store person on the planet, I check basses out at volumes only I can hear, I take my jacket off, and well... I'm a nice guy. I didn't do ANYTHING that could possibly tick this guy off, AND I had $1200 cash in my pocket.

I said, "I want to buy it, but I want it with a maple neck."

He said, "I told you to get out of my store."

I did.

Next day I headed out to NJ and bought a Sterling from Jay at NJ Guitar and Bass.

 

[Ooba Tooba]

Well, there was the one time we received a shipment of keyboards that were highly coveted and on backorder. I didn't have a floor model and we weren't planning to put one out because we couldn't keep them in stock anyway, so why devalue one by taking it out of the box?

One guy asked me to call him when we got them in, so I did. Even though I had a line of other customers who wanted to buy one, I wanted to make sure everyone on my list had an opportunity to purchase one in the order they expressed interest.

He wanted to test drive one before he bought it so I took it out of the warehouse and set it up for him. After taking up at least an hour of my time, the guy still wanted it, but tried to tell me it was now a floor model and he should get a discount because it was no longer new and in the box. I showed him the list of people who were waiting to buy it and said that me taking it out to demo specifically for him because he asked me to didn't count, sorry, and that just wouldn't be possible because I could still sell it for full price to any of those other people and ship it out to someone else that same day. They were nearly impossible to get and people were offering more than street price just to get their hands on one. The touring and studio guys didn't care if it was in a box or not; they just wanted one.

He ended up buying it, but what a pain that was when I could have just had the warehouse ship it to the next guy on my list.

The same guy also told lots of lies about who he was and who he worked with. I knew the people he was claiming to be "on tour" with and I knew he was not their keyboard player, but I pretended I didn’t.

I also get enough satisfaction in just knowing someone is full of **** without having to call them out on it. I don’t care if they know I know. I know.
Well done.