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My guitar player set me on fire!

tZer

tZer

Mar 9, 2006
6,328
36
58
St. Louis // St. Charles, MO
#1
The next time you think your guitar player is a pain consider this - mine set me on fire after rehearsal a few weeks back!

We just finish rehearsing (at guitar player's house) and went out to the patio to have a beer and talk about our upcoming gig. On the table were two citronella burners. The singer and I were looking at them and noting that the goo that you put in them was really sinister looking gel - napalm like stuff.

The cups were really low, but we were able to get a flame onto the gel in each and all was good. Then my guitar player pops out and that's when things went horribly wrong...

He noticed the burners were low and grabbed the 2 liter bottle of napalm and before I could even think, he started to pour it into one of the ALREADY LIT BURNERS!!!

Next thing I knew, a gigantic fire ball blasted out of the bottle and a blob of flaming goo landed right in my lap!!! I couldn't believe he did that! He knew it was burning - but it never occurred to him that dumping a load of that gel into the already burning cup was a seriously flawed idea...

I jumped up and pushed the pile of flaming goo off of my lap and it promptly resettled on my bare calf. So now my crotch, left and right legs and both hands were on fire!!!

I bolted directly right to find a place to stop, drop and roll - but that happened to be directly through a cactus and rosebush in big, heavy planters.

So - I make it though the spikes and thorns, dive onto the concrete and begin to roll - pounding furiously on my crotch - and not in the good way - while my friends are beating the flames out on my legs. Each time they beat on the flames their own hands came up on fire too - but we were all able to get the flames extinguished pretty quickly.

All of this probably happened in about 10 seconds - but it felt like an eternity! We went straight inside and started cleaning the burns. We all have pretty solid first aid skills and were able to clean the burbns (soap and water - OUCH!!!!), get them coated in Neosporin, dressed and wrapped in gauze. We contemplated an ER trip, but figured they'd have done the same thing (which was confirmed by my doctor the next day) - so there ya go...

And in keeping with our 'no pics, no flaming bass players' policy, here you go... If you have a weak stomach - well, it's probably too late now, you've probably already seen the carnage...


Left Knee (1st and 2nd degree)

IMAG0287.jpg


Left Thigh (1st and 2nd degree)

IMAG0288.jpg



And now for the fun stuff... Right Calf - full on 3rd degree

IMAG0289.jpg


Nice, huh?

I played a gig on those legs 4 days later...
 
#4
Ziltoid said:
Damn, and there I was whining about my guitar that got damaged by some guitard. Hope you heal quick and good man.
Click to expand...

Thanks, man! Yes, it does put a lot of things into new perspective, doesn't it? ;)

That happened on May 9th. The burns on my left leg are nothing but red spots now and they healed really quickly. The 3rd degree biotch is healing well too, but it just takes a LONG time! I have to clean it and change the dressings twice a day. That's a whole new kind of fun, let me tell you...

We did a really good job on the first aid taking advantage of the shock and cleaning the hell of of them right away. When I went to the doctor the next day, he confirmed that we did everything right. On my follow up visit 10 days later he was very impressed by how well everything was healing - and he damn well better be seeing as how I am going through the joy of those daily cleanings!

But having something like that happen to you really shows you a thing or two about who you are and what really counts! I am actually grateful for the experience in a way.
 
#8
tastybasslines said:
The story sounds funny reading it, but it's not for sure.

Thank god the gel didnt get through to your sac. Hope you feel better man.
Click to expand...

You know - while my friends and I were furiously pounding on my flaming crotch and legs, I noticed that the chair I was sitting on was also on fire and asked on of the guys to stop pounding on me and deal with it before the house went up too.

And while I was cleaning up the wounds, we actually did a LOT of laughing - in between me going, "ahahahaHAHAOOWWWWW!!!" - then when we were coming down from the whole affair and were retracing what happened I suddenly realized as I was saying, "Yeah - then there was this flaming goo in my lap..." I stopped, hopped into the bathroom and made a quick 'junk check' - and started laughing again... No burns or damage but definitely a lot of singed short curlies!

One of the things I learned about myself was that I deal with pain by saying really outrageous and funny stuff - and making a lot of absurd noises - and I laugh a lot. I think I am not right in the head...
 
#11
Relic said:
man, I'm glad you're ok, that would have really really really sucked if it had been your face and/or eyes.
Your guitard owes you beer for life.
And his wife/GF (or both??).
Click to expand...

He felt HORRIBLE (as you can imagine!) - He's a GREAT guy! One of my closest friends and the minute all this happened all I could think of was how crappy he much feel having just lit his friend on fire!! I spent the whole time while I was cleaning telling him, "Man - it was an accident! No worries, man! I know I can't make you not feel like crap - but don't! It's just my legs - and I was never known for having good legs anyway - so no foul, man!"

And yes - no face - no hands - it could have been SO much worse. But what really got me was that it could have been one of his kids or his wife that that accident happened to... I actually feel fortunate that it was me who got the short end since I think it was an accident that could have easily happened to someone else. The idea that either of his kids or wife might have been on the south end of that deal just makes me sick.
 
#18
Holy hell! Good to hear you're healing well, you seem to have a great attitude about the whole thing. But yes, he owes you a truckload of beers and whatever else you may require.
 

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