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My mother...

#21
I know what that kind of stress is like- my mom died in 02 of cancer. She lived not too far from me in Galveston. My employer was giving me a rash of **** because I'd leave early to go down and tend to her. They refused to accept that I was coming in early in equal amounts, and it became obvious to me they were planning on getting rid of me in a short timeframe. In mom's last two months, we made the decision to move her to my sister's house, as she was more able to care for her on a daily, and as it turned out, hourly basis. I drove her out there to Macon, GA after transferring the animals to my apartment. The rest of her "stuff" could wait.

That was a painful fifteen-hour drive in my little Kia, but at the same time, it was a very rich, fulfilling time as well. We talked, laughed, cried, and basically said our goodbyes on our "road trip". We ate in the car, as she was too ill to go into a restaurant. We slept briefly at a rest stop. We took frequent breaks so she could get out and stretch her legs, or if she saw something she wanted to check out somewhere on our route. Her attitude went from one of trying to survive to one of peaceful resignation. She wished she could get better, but knew she couldn't.

I made that drive every other weekend for a month (3 times), leaving from work on Friday afternoon at 4pm, getting in at 4am, enough time for a nap from 4-6am. Then I spent as much time as I could with her before I'd leave for work on Sunday nite at 6pm. I got that drive down to a science, and cut the drivetime down to about 11 hours.

I'm glad I got to spend that time with my mom, and yeah, I miss her. But she's not in pain any more...

Go spend whatever time you can with your mom, and post back when you can.
 
#22
Jiggybass said:
I'm greatly sorry to hear that Cherie, and I do feel your pain aswell...

My grandfather (who is also very much like a father to me) Is lying in the hospital with colon cancer that has spread very quickly, affecting his liver, and soon his bone marrow. He's also caught Malaria and a few other infections, so he can't eat, breathe, and really do anything by himself.

He's ready to go aswell, He's on morphine to ease the pain.....so any day now. :(

Hope your mother goes peacefuly
Click to expand...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Honey, I am so sorry about your Grandpa. I hope his pain will be eased, one way or the other. Horrible, to be unable to breathe or eat or do anything to make one's self comfortable.

They had Dad on morphine at the end. He let them give him as little as possible, so he could still talk with us. But, very near the end, they gave him more, since he wasn't talking anymore, anyway. It made the pain less, so he could rest.

Sigh. Its a hard, hard thing.

Cherie
 
#25
Bassic83 said:
I know what that kind of stress is like- my mom died in 02 of cancer. She lived not too far from me in Galveston. My employer was giving me a rash of **** because I'd leave early to go down and tend to her. They refused to accept that I was coming in early in equal amounts, and it became obvious to me they were planning on getting rid of me in a short timeframe. In mom's last two months, we made the decision to move her to my sister's house, as she was more able to care for her on a daily, and as it turned out, hourly basis. I drove her out there to Macon, GA after transferring the animals to my apartment. The rest of her "stuff" could wait.

That was a painful fifteen-hour drive in my little Kia, but at the same time, it was a very rich, fulfilling time as well. We talked, laughed, cried, and basically said our goodbyes on our "road trip". We ate in the car, as she was too ill to go into a restaurant. We slept briefly at a rest stop. We took frequent breaks so she could get out and stretch her legs, or if she saw something she wanted to check out somewhere on our route. Her attitude went from one of trying to survive to one of peaceful resignation. She wished she could get better, but knew she couldn't.

I made that drive every other weekend for a month (3 times), leaving from work on Friday afternoon at 4pm, getting in at 4am, enough time for a nap from 4-6am. Then I spent as much time as I could with her before I'd leave for work on Sunday nite at 6pm. I got that drive down to a science, and cut the drivetime down to about 11 hours.

I'm glad I got to spend that time with my mom, and yeah, I miss her. But she's not in pain any more...

Go spend whatever time you can with your mom, and post back when you can.
Click to expand...

I shall, honey.

I am so glad that you were able to have that time with your mother. I hope I get to have something similar with mine. I'm going to miss her very, very much.

Cherie
 
#26
The loss of a spouse is a feeling of emptiness most of us can't understand, but I can appreciate what your Mom is feeling. My Mom passed away at the age of 74 and my Dad lived another 7 years, but he was miserable each and every day without her. It's hard for us kids to accept, but most times the heart knows what it wants.

Although it all happened quite a few years ago, I can remember being angry with my father for not fighting harder. But for him, life here on earth was too incomplete without my Mom. I know he was glad to be with her again .....

Prayers to you and your family for strength and understanding, Cherie .....
 
#28
pointbass said:
The loss of a spouse is a feeling of emptiness most of us can't understand, but I can appreciate what your Mom is feeling. My Mom passed away at the age of 74 and my Dad lived another 7 years, but he was miserable each and every day without her. It's hard for us kids to accept, but most times the heart knows what it wants.

Although it all happened quite a few years ago, I can remember being angry with my father for not fighting harder. But for him, life here on earth was too incomplete without my Mom. I know he was glad to be with her again .....

Prayers to you and your family for strength and understanding, Cherie .....
Click to expand...

That is exactly how Mom feels. She has told me before that nothing is as good without Dad to share it with. She can be happy about certain things, but she never feels content or deeply happy. That's probably why she is not fighting the disease. Life for her is incomplete without her beloved Ray.

Cherie
 
#29
On her last day, my mother insisted to go take a communion in the church. Assuming her health was getting better (years of kidney failure), we took her there. But she drew her last breath there, in the place she served and loved most, in the arms of my dad. It was on Good Friday.

Had we known, we wouldnt have taken her there and we would have taken her to the hospital to get the best of medical treatment. But would it make her happy to end her journey in hosiptal instead of church?

It's not about us, it's about her.

Prayers for your mother.
 
#31
I'll be thinking of you and your mother as I go about my day tomorrow and this evening. My father was just released from the hospital after having some issues with blood clots in his lungs and legs as well. So, I know how concerned you must be right now.

Please send me a PM if I can help in any way.

-Mike
 
#38
I just finished a few prayers for your mother, cherie. I'll keep her in my thoughts as long as possible.












on a decidedely less tasteful note:
I'm listening to Pandora internet radio as I'm reading this thread, and the song that just finished (that was playing the whole time) was titled "Farewell". Then the next song started, and the first word was "die". Strange...
 

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