I have a fantastic girlfriend.
It's a factory blem, the usual (from what I've heard) side of the fretboard finish imperfections. Ordering some TI flats tonight.
Plays great, sounds great, feels great, looks great. I'm a medium scale kinda guy so no complaints whatsoever. It's a great piece of kit.
Probably gonna get a Squier VM J5 in the next few days cos who wants an odd number of basses in the stable, amirite??