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NEED EVERYONES ADVICE

plexibass

plexibass

Jun 30, 2005
2,202
4
#1
just had a semi serious event happen and i need some advice on how to handle it. let me first start out by saying i have a very bad temper.
about 1 hour ago, i receive a phone call from my next door neighbor
saying that there are police running around behind my house with guns drawn AND she tried to call my father [80yo] and cant get him on the phone, either cell or home. i freakin fly out of here and do about70 all the way home, about 2 miles. dont slow down until i come to a complete stop.
turns out the house behind me gets broke into and the homeowners are home and the cops catch the guy in mid break in. as i'm getting ready to go back to work, after figuring out where my father is and verifying he is safe, my neighbors husband comes out and starts screaming at me for speeding. he heard me coming up the road and that i was dangerous and if i was caught by the police my insurance blah blah blah blah. i explained that his wife called me and even played him the message she left me. he says he doesnt care that i have to slow down blah blah blah. i told him i was not going to argue this point with him and tried to leave. he steps in front of me and keeps yelling. i te;ll him he needs to back the f off and when he saw the look in my eyes, he did. he said in the future, they just wouldnt call me for anything like that because i overreacted.
what to do?
oh, i aint apoligising to him either so f that idea. i didnt do anything wrong.
 
#7
Todd Stanley said:
Call the wife and explain why you were speeding, she should understand as much as we do here.
Say that you don't want any bad blood between you guys over the fact that you were speeding home in an emergency. The husband will obviously pick that battle with you, but not with his wife, he'll let it go haha.
Click to expand...
words of wisdom ... :cool:

... you might also thank her for the phone call , and let her
know how much you appreciate the fact that she's been looking out for
your father .

hope everything turns out for the best .
peace,
dave
 
#17
You reacted reasonably, but you still did something wrong. He was rightly pissed of that you did something wrong, but should have been understanding.

When you've both calmed down you HOPEFULLY will both see the others points of view. I'd let it cool down for a few days, then apologise for speeding, explaining you were really worried about your family. Once the heat of the momment has gone he might accept your explanation, and applogise too.

If not, just let it go, and forget about it.

Ian
 
#19
I was a reserve deputy for 7 years. I completely understand why you reacted the way you did. And you definitely did well in limiting your confrontation with the neighbor to verbal interaction and not getting physical.

BUT - judgment is needed. At a time like that, what's important is not to get there 30 seconds sooner, it's to get there in one piece so you can function well once you arrive. You screwed up. And consider: driving into an unknown situation at high speed is dumb - you can't control the vehicle well and you are likely to cause more problems or hit something.

Would I have confronted you as he did? Absolutely not. He was out of line to get in your face like that. But - he was correct that you used poor judgment. It's VERY difficult to control yourself in a situation like that and not drive at excessive speed. I'd probably have gone a bit over the speed limit myself - but not grossly over it. The really tough thing in these situations is to exercise self-control and keep your actions considered and appropriate. Lots of police officers don't do this well, either.

I'm glad your dad is OK, and I hope that you will reflect on this experience over time and use it as a learning experience. It's nice of the neighbors to keep an eye on your dad for you, and given the situation, consider that they were under stress, too.
 

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