See, one of my biggest issues is the 'playing them and seeing what sounds right' kind of stuff
Because I've not played in years, and even then I did not play a lot, I do not know what will be right for me.
The reason you hear the "try them out and see" line so often is because so many of the things that make a bass "right" for someone are totally subjective. Comfort, playability, sound, tone...they all vary from individual to individual, and what works best for one player may not be even close to working for another.
You might not be able to play much in the strictest sense, but you can certainly hold a bass and make a basic determination about comfort. Is it too big? Too small? Does it dig into your leg when you sit? If you put a strap on it and stand up, does it balance? Does it take a neck dive?
You can try to fret some notes - even if you don't know which ones - and get a feel for the fretboard. Can you fret comfortably? Is the neck too wide? Too narrow? Does the neck feel slippery? Sticky? Is it thin, or like a baseball bat? What feels good in your hands?
With some of these basics down, you can better choose a bass that will work well for you, and get down to the real meat & potatoes...practice.
Thats one reason I was looking around at what some of the bands whos sounds I prefer to play use.
HWM is my favorite band, with A3 and BS followed close behind (as well as Get Up Kids and Saves the Day rounding out the top 5).
Its just all a bit confusing.
I'm not trying to flame you, and I mean what follows as practical advice, but if you can't play that much, or that well, why are you so worried about tone? Most folks will tell you that the tone comes from your fingers, and I'd agree with that 110%. I'd also say that the best way to get the tone you want is to practice, and work on your technique, and not worry about what bass your favorite bass player plays. If you really want a particular sound, you can work on that down the road. Having Bryan Kienlen's bass isn't going to give you Bryan Kienlen's sound, especially if you can't play a lick.
Honestly - and again, this is just my opinion - I think you might be better served by getting an inexpensive P or a J, spending a few bucks on a decent setup and then learning to play for a few months. After you've got the basics down, and decided that you'll stick with it, you might have a better idea of what you really like or dislike in a bass, and more insight about your preferred tone.