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Oy. People are weird.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by two fingers, Jun 11, 2018.

  1. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    So, my second band has been coming together nicely.

    Good female lead singer. Total pro. She not only sings lead well, but can harmonize with a fence post.

    Good guitar playet. Super versatile. Great gear. Fantastic chops. No ego. Not too loud.

    Me on bass, backups and some lead vocals.

    Drummer. Super cool redneck. Practice spot at his house. Good timing. Good gear. Good harmonies and low lead vocals.

    We had done two rehearsals. Everything great. We really clicked. We all liked the music. We all liked the three part harmonies. We were even talking about bringing on a keys player who can sing his butt off too. Now we're talking FOUR part harmonies and all good players.

    I had agreed to join another band at about the same time. I was totally up front with everyone in both. All parties were fine. Neither band would play more than a show or two a month so conflicts would be minimal anyway.

    First band got a show before the second band. It came up kind of quickly. I asked the second band (the one described above) if it would be OK if I took a couple of weeks to finish out my kids' school year, attend rehearsals and performances of their dance recitals, and finish off the first band's setlist for that show. Every one of the second band said "Sure man. No problem."

    That show was this past Saturday with the first band. All went well.

    Second band had set up rehearsal for this coming Wednesday. We had been texting back and forth for days to make sure we all knew the set for rehearsal with keys and vocal assignments. All texts were cheerful. All members had participated in the aforementioned texts.

    Then today....:banghead:

    The rest of us get a text from (of course) the drummer. *sigh*


    "Guys, I'm done with this project. There's just too much distance in this band. I have lost interest. Never mind that I'm not playing a show in just over a month with a band that can't get it together amd is ill prepared."


    I have done dozens of gigs where I got the set on Tuesday. I learned the songs that week. I met the band for the first time in the parking lot of the venue where we were playing. We went inside and did the dang thing.

    Never mind that this guy had been all about this project up until this morning.

    Of course, he won't return any of our phone calls or texts. (I never bothered. Screw him.)

    People are dumb. o_O
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  2. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    The only solution is to hire another drummer and immediately fire him as a warning to others.
  3. rufus.K


    Oct 18, 2015
    use a drum machine/loops.
    or add a DJ instead of a drunmer.
  4. Sometimes people know the reason they want to bail is a dumb or selfish one, so they ease their guilt by blaming anyone else for their sudden departure. The last thing I would do is take this personally.
  5. Text back

    Man that's lame. Two more gtgs and we would be ready to show. Disappointed. TF.
    juancaminos, five7, HolmeBass and 2 others like this.
  6. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I didn't take it personally. It's just frustrating because the chemistry up until now has been great.
    Jimmy4string and Bunk McNulty like this.
  7. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Yeah I wish I could talk to the guy in person. Not to argue with him or anything. Jist to get to what's really bugging him... even if he still doesn't stay with the band.

    I'll probably shoot him a text in the morning.

    soulman969 and Door County Bass like this.
  8. Now we’re talking.
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Misfit Wookiee and Kitsapbass like this.
  10. Razman


    Feb 10, 2005
    Orange Park, FL
    2-finners, the grammer police are gonna be all over you in a minute, just sayin’. :D

    Sorry to hear this.

    Rudyboy98 and sigterm like this.
  11. lbbc

    lbbc Supporting Member

    Sep 25, 2007
    Seaford , DE
    People bail for many reasons. I had a similar experience with a drummer I played with for 13 years. We gigged 3-4 times per month and the money was good. He left saying he wanted to play more. We tried out multiple drummers and playrd with one for 2 months and decided to go acoustic...no drummer at all. We are playing 5-6 gigs a month and have turned down many opportunities to play due to personal commitments. Money and hours are better. It will all work out in the end.
    two fingers likes this.
  12. Oddly

    Oddly Unofficial TalkBass Cartographer!

    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    Sounds to me like there's more to his quitting.
    I get the impression you're a guy could call in person to see him and have a chat over a couple of beers and talk it out.
    Why not try it?
    Nothing to lose, and it seems like that was a band worth fighting for.
  13. Wisebass


    Jan 12, 2017
    Lost in Space
    Drummers! :(

    When they don 't get fired, they fire themselves :banghead:


  14. Spidey2112


    Aug 3, 2016
    I suppose he was upset after a huge investment of binge watching 'Homeland', seasons 1-6, only to find out seasons 7 & 8 were on another network, in which he would have to pay extra...

    ... no matter what those fish say, that hook hurts, when it comes out.
  15. InhumanResource


    Dec 28, 2012
    I would guess he found something else to do and this was his (perhaps questionable) exit announcement.
  16. Spidey2112


    Aug 3, 2016
    There it is, right there... sounds like the desire to play out is strong, and he got butt-hurt... use this to you and your band's advantage to reel him back in...

    ... if he's worth it. He can't fly off the handle every time something doesn't work, just for him. Group effort, right?
    Wisebass and two fingers like this.
  17. BassBrass


    Jul 6, 2009
    Boston MA
    On the contrary, I thought his writing skills were excellent and entertaining. People who write "just sayin'" however, are exhibiting a common dullness, a distinct lack of imagination.
    ak56 likes this.
  18. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    drummers who "self fire" are a precious commodity. i'd keep him! :laugh:
  19. brianrost

    brianrost Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2000
    Boston, Taxachusetts
    Some people need the money, some people get overextended and can't juggle gig offers when they start flowing in too quickly and sometimes people do change their minds suddenly, especially when something unexpected happens in their life (bills to be paid, family issues). I've had to drop out of bands for all the above and believe me, it's never easy...for some people breaking contact is the only way they can handle it.

    MYLOWFREQ Supporting Member

    May 13, 2011
    New York
    Sorry to hear that.. you'll find another one.

    Personally I'd not being another band member (key player in this case) and wouldn't worry about the 4th part harmonies at all. More people in the band = more problems to deal with. Good luck.
    Kitsapbass and smogg like this.

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