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People passing away unexpectedly.
- Thread starter Captain Chaos
- Start date
The brevity of life is what makes it all the more precious.
I turn 50 in 3 months and so far I've buried both folks (2009/2011), 1 child (in 2000) and my younger brother (in 1989). All went far too soon. I still talk to them from time to time. We all cope in different ways I guess
I turn 50 in 3 months and so far I've buried both folks (2009/2011), 1 child (in 2000) and my younger brother (in 1989). All went far too soon. I still talk to them from time to time. We all cope in different ways I guess
I'm with you. The last thing I need is to see Dave lying in a box. I plan on going to the thing, but staying away from that damn box.....
Best thing to do is keep your peace with all men. Once they die you cannot ask them for forgiveness and vice versa.
There was a kid named Eber that I didn't like in school. I tried to ignore him and when that wouldn't keep him away I would alienate him from everyone. One Monday morning I went into school and instead of having our first class, we were all gathered into the gym. They announced that Eber and his entire family of 7, with exception of the youngest boy in the family "I think he was 11" died in a massive car wreck on their way to Mexico. The 11 year old was asleep in the car when it happened and he was flung out of the vehicle with only a small cut on his face to show for it. The rest of them were mangled.
It didn't sink in that I treated that kid like crap until a couple of years later when I went through a yearbook.
My advice is to make sure you're right before you go, or in these cases before they do.
EDIT:
Thinking back on it, I remember seeing the kid from time to time but I have no idea who he stayed with after that.
There was a kid named Eber that I didn't like in school. I tried to ignore him and when that wouldn't keep him away I would alienate him from everyone. One Monday morning I went into school and instead of having our first class, we were all gathered into the gym. They announced that Eber and his entire family of 7, with exception of the youngest boy in the family "I think he was 11" died in a massive car wreck on their way to Mexico. The 11 year old was asleep in the car when it happened and he was flung out of the vehicle with only a small cut on his face to show for it. The rest of them were mangled.
It didn't sink in that I treated that kid like crap until a couple of years later when I went through a yearbook.
My advice is to make sure you're right before you go, or in these cases before they do.
EDIT:
Thinking back on it, I remember seeing the kid from time to time but I have no idea who he stayed with after that.
This is a good thread. Thanks to the OP.
My Mother died unexpectedly, when I was pretty young, and I remember how very painful that was.
2 weeks ago, I sat with my father and held his hand as he passed away at home. It wasn't unexpected - but just as painful, and very profound.
I'm fortunate that I had the time with my Dad to clean up a lot of wreckage - to make sure nothing was left unsaid. He hung in there long enough to make sure I carried no regrets - it was the greatest gift he ever gave me: Time.
Wishing each of you the same. Time.
My Mother died unexpectedly, when I was pretty young, and I remember how very painful that was.
2 weeks ago, I sat with my father and held his hand as he passed away at home. It wasn't unexpected - but just as painful, and very profound.
I'm fortunate that I had the time with my Dad to clean up a lot of wreckage - to make sure nothing was left unsaid. He hung in there long enough to make sure I carried no regrets - it was the greatest gift he ever gave me: Time.
Wishing each of you the same. Time.
Don't beat yourself up over it. Some people just can't do funerals - especially these rigidly formal and impersonal, yet emotionally uncomfortable funerals we tend to perpetrate here in America.
I actually skipped the funerals of the last two people who died and who I was very close to. Both times, I gave the excuse that I was too sick to attend. This was not far off from the truth because I really was such a wreck that I knew I would fall apart if I was stuck in that environment for any length of time.
You did what you thought was best and I don't believe there should be any reason for shame or regret.
Something happened a few years back that brought me to this same realization. Since then, I've not missed any opportunities that have come my way to mend seemingly burnt bridges.
I'm with you on this as well.
Back in high school, a friend of mine died in a road accident. He was my first friend when I switched schools and came to this new one. For the 'viewing', they brought his body to the school. I am absolutely firm that I made the right choice by not going. I plainly told anybody who asked that it'd be an incredibly difficult situation for me to deal with.
Unexpectedly?
If you think about it, that never happens. I learned everybody dies when I was a kid so I've grown to expect it, no matter how suddenly it occurs.
We all start croaking when we exit the womb.
If you think about it, that never happens. I learned everybody dies when I was a kid so I've grown to expect it, no matter how suddenly it occurs.
We all start croaking when we exit the womb.
Indeed. Here is a Buddhist iteration of the same idea by some cat named No Ajahn Chan (who is, by the way, quite dead himself - so he speaks with authority):
Our birth and death are just one thing. You can't have one without the other. It's a little funny to see how at a death people are so tearful and sad, and at a birth how happy and delighted. It's delusion. I think if you really want to cry, then it would be better to do so when someone born. Cry at the root, for if there were no birth, there would be no death.
Reminds me of that Iron Maiden song the Clairvoyant.
Today my manager said it was good that I didn't attend.
