Playing "Benefit gigs" (rant)

[sm49341]

Weve played our share of bennies. They are a real drag, nobody’s dancing when someone is dying of cancer. People generaly want to donate and be gone. If you really want to help a cause donate a gig for a benefit auction. We donate one a year, they go for as much as $1200. Then the party you eventually play is well attended, and usually quite fun, and always have food.
We still play a school benny for $300, but we turned that event into something that raised $200 to an offsite event that allows byo alcohol, and now they pocket about 5K.

 

[Jase The Bass]

If you are ever on the fence about ANY decision.. in life.. about your career...in a band... or anything.
1. Start tracking the amount of time you think about changing it.
2. Rate (1-5) how much anxiety it gives you thinking about it. How much frustration does it give you to do it?
3. Come up with 3 ideas you can do instead of your current situation.

1. Is the amount of time you think about your situation a significant amount? Is it enough time to master something else? How many songs could you have learned in that amount of time? Has this "thinking about it" gone on for months and years? You could have started a profitable band or taken a college course in something to improve your personal life.
2. Every time you raise your anxiety or stress level you enter a flight or fight response. Listen to that! Does your situation pose great potential that you want to strong arm making it better? Is it so horrible and unrepairable that you want to delete it out of your life? A high rating on anxiety and frustration doesn't necessary translate to bad.
3. Are these 3 ideas better than what you are currently doing? Is one of them the "million dollar idea"? Are the 3 alternative ideas worse than what you are doing? Could you have done a better idea in the amount of time that you were "thinking about it"?

I go through this process and I have been living a happier life. The actions of others no longer bother me like they used to. Hope this helps in your decision making.

 

[Renaissance]

They fired the last bass player because he didn't want to play for free all the time. The writing is on the wall, do you want to play free all the time or not?

 

[Slough Feg Bass]

Oh man, I went through this a few years ago....finally just told them nah, I don't want to do that gig, I'd rather stay home and tune my snare drum.

 

[InhumanResource]

I auditioned for/joined an existing band that lost their bass player. The reason they lost their bass player was that he was never available to play for a benefit, but was always open for paying gigs. They caught him in a lie when they found out where he really was on a night that was a benefit gig, so they fired him. They were pi$$ed.

Let me say, I know good players when I hear them. Every position is real solid, except for keys (always says "Oh, I didn't get the chance to go over that tune" at practice). These guys are among the very best players around here. They are just now starting to get some bookings. They've been together for probably 6 months total. I've been there 3 months, I guess. I like the songs they play very much, so I was content to stick with it. The songs were challenging and are fun to play.

I am getting weary of "benefit gigs". One of the players wives is a benefit freak so that's one problem.
I've played benefits for cancer, diabetes, disease A, B, C, D, F & G. I've played for people who lost everything in a house fire. I've played to raise funds for the animal shelter.
None of these type gigs brings more than 15-25 people. It's ridiculous. The only benefit that draws a crowd is the "Christmas Toy Drive" show in early November.

We've played about 8 paying gigs compared to about 6 benefit gigs and there's 2 more benefits next month!

I've thought about quitting for about a month, but I always stop myself, hoping it's the end of "benefit city", but it never is.

For a benefit we did last month, I attended a Friday night practice to prepare a fill-in drummer. That evening, I had to leave work early to pick up my wife because her car was being repaired. By the time I took her home and went to practice, I drove about 80 miles. The show was Saturday.

I really want to say something to these guys, but I don't want to be branded as one of those who have no sympathy or empathy for other people's problems. I care. I really do, but at the same time, I think to myself that I can't save the entire world. I just don't get it.

Do any of you guys/girls get caught up in the "benefit rut"?
Am I wrong to resent having to play this many gigs of this type?

Thanks! I feel better already!

Why stay?

 

[ThunderV]

Benefits are almost as annoying as "battle of the bands" contests. Sounds like the drummer doesn't like benefits either. Every once in a while is fine, but not regularly. I didn't read all of the posts, so if someone else said this.....I am sorry.

 

[bassplayer2014]

eh....

I didn't read your whole post, only the bolded part.

I like playing, and am now past the point where I get bent out of shape for playing for free but I'd be irritated with that many free gigs scheduled. I'd mention it to the B.L.

Same here. I play because I love playing and I am very happy not having a must gig mindset. With that said, one maybe two free/charity/party gigs a year max. I do prefer to earn enough to reasonably cover a portion of my gig expenses.

 

[bumperbass]

Wow, guys. OP here. I read all the posts and I really have an idea of what I have to do, what I need to say, figuring out how much this is getting on my nerves, etc.
I think that when/if the time comes that my threshold for tolerating this is exceeded, I'll automatically know it's time to say "bye bye".
I am still doing it so when my mind says "enough" then that will be it. Until then, I have no idea what to do except to keep doing it. I hope that makes sense.

I spoke with the guitar player on the phone this evening for a bit. I casually slipped in "yeah, and man we are playing a lot of benefits". He acknowledged that it was the band member AND his wife
that foster the benefit mentality. We defintely need to talk. I need to gauge the reaction of those two. That will factor in my decision as well. One question I will ask is "how often do you figure we'll be doing these benefits", etc.

I know this for sure: I will reread this thread many times and maybe my head will tell me what to do, or maybe not. lol
I am glad that my negative feelings about all these non-paying gigs is the general consensus on the thread. There was a time when I doubted my reasoning, like "Is it me"?

You guys have helped a great deal and I thank you.

 

[bumperbass]

One more thing. Nobody said "fire the drummer". Things got pretty serious here, huh? lol

 

[bumperbass]

Nah.

I just wouldn't do it.

Their previous bass player was a bit of a sissy for not being upfront - but I can understand why he would just stay home and play Tomb Raider instead of putting the hours in, for no $.

Well all I can say is the last bass player had this story written on the walls. You sniffed and took the bait and if I were you would bale.

They fired the last bass player because he didn't want to play for free all the time. The writing is on the wall, do you want to play free all the time or not?

These posts made me feel violated and taken advantage of. I never saw the writing on the wall because I thought the bennies would sort of, you know, die down? I didn't know it was going to be so regular going in. I think the music masked all the negative stuff because the band sounded so good. I was really excited at the time. The only thing I thought about was "Man these guys are tight and the drummer even has his kick parts down. This should be a blast".

 

[ToneMonkey]

Ratio of benefits to paying gigs is way out of whack. 10:1 even 7:1 is OK. 1:1 is not. Any pro should understand that. The wife needs to butt out. 1-3 benefits per year max.

 

[bassbully]

These posts made me feel violated and taken advantage of. I never saw the writing on the wall because I thought the bennies would sort of, you know, die down? I didn't know it was going to be so regular going in. I think the music masked all the negative stuff because the band sounded so good. I was really excited at the time. The only thing I thought about was "Man these guys are tight and the drummer even has his kick parts down. This should be a blast".

Well yea you acknowledged the other bassist lied and balied on yet another benefit show. So did the great jamming really put blinders on you? Or really was the old bassists reason for departure in the back of your mind?

 

[bumperbass]

Well yea you acknowledged the other bassist lied and balied on yet another benefit show. So did the great jamming really put blinders on you? Or really was the old bassists reason for departure in the back of your mind?

Yeah, it must have been in the back of my mind. Like I said, I thought these gigs would burn out eventually.
That's the reason I had to vent.
It's totally my fault. That's one thing I've learned from the thread. IT'S MY FAULT.
Time to move on from that line of thinking and on to 'how do I handle this?'.

 

[bassbully]

Yeah, it must have been in the back of my mind. Like I said, I thought these gigs would burn out eventually.
That's the reason I had to vent.
It's totally my fault. That's one thing I've learned from the thread. IT'S MY FAULT.
Time to move on from that line of thinking and on to 'how do I handle this?'.

Use your gut. Be honest with them and try a talk first. At least you would be face up with them. I have no idea why a good band would give away so much free time.

 

[Slater]

None of these type gigs brings more than 15-25 people. It's ridiculous.

These seem like poorly organized events put together on a whim. The benefits that I have participated in were put together by reputable organizations, involved multiple bands, had hundreds of attendees, and raised thousands of dollars. If “band member’s wife” wants to be involved with benefits, she should contact the proper charitable organizations and let them do the heavy lifting.

 

[Joe Nerve]

I flip flop on this one, to be honest. Sometimes they're fun and worthwhile. Usually not.

I got paid for the first time ever last week doing a benefit gig, and got paid well. I'm stoked and I feel that's landmark in my playing career .

Outside of that, I generally don't like anybody else volunteering MY time. I donate, I do my share of good deeds, I help wherever and whenever I can - but more often than not I do NOT want to do a benefit gig. If someone wants badly enough to throw a benefit for something, then IMO they should also donate the money to hire a band. There seems to always be one band member who's all on board with the benefit thing, and at least one whose really resenting doing it. Not cool, IMO. Which brings me to this... something of which I've become certain...

A band needs to all have the same motivation and goals if it's going to last, go smoothly, and be drama free. If I ever start a band up again first priority will be to make sure we're all on the same page. When you get one person who's goal is to just play in front of as many people as possible, another who only wants to play for pay, and another who wants to only play songs they love playing - you have a train wreck waiting to happen.

 

[Bass Viking]

What's the difference between donating your time to a charity or your money?
Hint - donating time to play music is more fun, and easier on your wallet.

Not necessarily! There are some situations where throwing money at a cause is less hassle as well as less expensive (when you factor in gas, travel time, etc.). And that would leave you free to do other things. Like playing a paying gig!

 

[bumperbass]

Thanks, Joe. As usual, right on. It's one of those 'good in theory' things that doesn't always work out.
The problem is lack of communication.

 

[Joe Nerve]

Gonna add this, possible benefits of playing benefits ...

2 years ago I got asked to do a benefit on an early Sunday afternoon after I hurt my back badly at a Sat night gig. I belted up my back, popped a bunch of advil, and showed up not happy... but got to play with Ricky Byrd, a guy I looked up to in my younger years. I found video of it, so I'm posting it.

That day wound up totally worth it for me. I had a great time, and didn't get paid a cent. Even paid a toll.

We got to do a little cool jamming around 3:15.

 

[pbassjbass]

When we play benefits, we get paid. Otherwise the group receiving the money has no reason to get their act together. They pay for the other costs of the fund raiser, there's no reason they shouldn't pay for music.