...I don't have a problem with contribution, but I have a major fear (I would actually call it that) of just having a rehearsal of just pure, utter BS like the flashback I just shared with you guys. No progress, no direction, spiteful reactive natures of members towards the one guy who tries to make things work.
I can relate to everything you said and I see a little of my own mindset in what you seem to be saying which I why I wanted to share my own experience doing essentially what you describe. I saw it as a great time-saver and efficiency thing too. It's sort of an illusion when it comes to wanting to work with and as a band.
The one really solid take-away was that working with the right people is so much better in so many ways - obviously.
Using technology definitely can take an idea from in your head to in everyone's ears very effectively - no doubt. In some circles, that's a really useful thing to be able to do and like you (I think), I was always able to make home-baked, piano-roll edited, sample-rich composites that sounded VERY real.
If I wanted to follow in the footsteps of hip-hop and techno artists who use technology AS the band, that would be THE way to use my time.
I always called even my most 'real' sounding pieces 'drafts' in the hopes that everyone understood that even though it sounds so complete, I really want you to take these parts and make them your own. But the fact is that once you present something that sounds that complete, that's how people hear it and you almost ruin a part of their ability to bring their own take to it.
Nothing beats a well constructed progression and solid composition on an acoustic guitar with the melody sung over it for everyone else to vividly hear what they want to do. If you fill in the blanks for them, it really removes a critical layer from the creative process.
I also learned that spending time creating music with technology can be really fun and really time-consuming even if it appears to be saving time on the back end. What I've found is that time can be so much better spent working on the song with players. Now that presumes you have players who want to work like that.
But think about it. The Beatles could come into the studio, John could play the song through on guitar/piano - the rest of the band could make notes and pretty much complete a song the same day. Sometimes many songs. Not necessarily release-ready and creating the arrangements certainly added some hours - but the overall completion of the core song happened very quickly and that's the most important part of the whole thing.
I think that's a great way to work with and as a group. Otherwise you are a solo artist and a backing band.