OK, fine. First best promo I ever did:
I had a buddy who worked for a long haul LTL trucking company. His job was to deal with busted/ruined freight; figure out who was at fault, settle with insurance companies, dispose of wrecked merchandise. One day he sends me a message that he had a box of 'adult toys' of various sizes that had been written off and would I like them as a joke give-away promo. He's the guy that hooked us up with a few cases of shotglasses as well. He was busting my chops but to get back at him I said "yeah, how much?" Turned out they were a total write-off and if I picked them up that afternoon it was free. Seems the only other way to get them off the property was by dumpster. So I drove over there to pick up what I thought was a box of vibrators.
Wrong. Oh so wrong.
it was a PALLET of vibrators.
550 to be exact. From the size of a bic lighter up to a small banana. So I called the guy who had printed up the shot glasses and asked if he could print the band logo on hard plastic tubes of various sizes. He said he could, discount if it was all the same logo. So I dropped off 50 boxes of various sized implements and he just about died laughing. Two weeks later they were ready to go. We gave them out as freebies with the nightly drink special (cosmopolitans. don't judge us, it was 2002) for the next few weeks. Anyone who bought the drink special could come up to the front of the stage, reach in the box and grab a present. We thought that we would find them all over the club at the end of the night and promised Katy the bar manager that we would pick up any implements to be found. Lo and behold we never found anything. Nada. Not a thing. They lasted for three weekends and we were out. Funny thing is we were asked for the next couple years if we had any vibrators to give away nearly every gig.