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Putting oil on strings?

Nose grease. If you're fastidious about your hygiene, it's probably the cleanest and most bass/guitar friendly lube out there.
Make it obvious when you do it. It'll keep others from wanting to play your instrument.
Wipe the strings and instrument clean before putting it away for the night.
 
God, some of you are really gross. Don't ever look at your basses under a microscope with all the skeevy rancid crap you put on them!

I would go mineral oil or Fast Fret every time.
 
Nose grease. If you're fastidious about your hygiene, it's probably the cleanest and most bass/guitar friendly lube out there.
Make it obvious when you do it. It'll keep others from wanting to play your instrument.
Wipe the strings and instrument clean before putting it away for the night.
I make it a point not to use nasal "greeze"for anything.
Some might mistakenly thing you are using another nasal fluid