There are an infinite number of reasons to quit a band, but I'm just curious to hear some of your stories about why you either did quit or are seriously considering quitting one that you're in. Let's hear your stories....
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Reasons to quit a band?
- Thread starter wayward220
- Start date
Because no one shows up to practice on time... well sometimes they wouldn't show up at all. If they did bother to come they'd proceed to consume ungodly amounts of liquor which only leads to no progress being made. This band has been together since late April and nothing has happened. No gigs, no anything... they don't even want to play at a house for our friends. Time to bail and find something else.
Musical direction and goals within the band. I was in one cover band that started writing originals and mixing them into our typical cover sets, when all of the sudden the one guitard player decided he wanted to change direction and have us become a Godsmack tribute band. He fired the singer and starting holding auditions for a new singer, pretty much without letting the rest of us have any input into the whole deal.
I bailed and took the other guitar player with me and formed another cover band.
I bailed and took the other guitar player with me and formed another cover band.
Every time I've quit or had someone quit a band it comes down to one of four things, or some combination of these three:
(1) Different musical goals or direction, including level of dedication
(2) Interpersonal problems - some people just get along like oil and water
(3) A shift in priorities - getting married, having kids, changing jobs etc. Things happen.
But #1 is the most prevalent. It's generally just a matter of people not being on the same page in terms of what they want to put in or get out of the band.
The only time I had a band break up that wasn't related to one of those three was in college when our horn player/second guitarist died. That was the best band (musically and in terms of a possible record deal) but none of us had the heart to carry on after that.
(1) Different musical goals or direction, including level of dedication
(2) Interpersonal problems - some people just get along like oil and water
(3) A shift in priorities - getting married, having kids, changing jobs etc. Things happen.
But #1 is the most prevalent. It's generally just a matter of people not being on the same page in terms of what they want to put in or get out of the band.
The only time I had a band break up that wasn't related to one of those three was in college when our horn player/second guitarist died. That was the best band (musically and in terms of a possible record deal) but none of us had the heart to carry on after that.
The drummer sold our gig van (and home at the time) out from under us. I'm the only one who left after that stunt. There is a much longer story behind all this I will sum up into the questions asked.
Me: "Why did you do that?"
Drummer: "So we had some cash to get home."
Me: "Fantastic, now how are we going to get there with our gear?"
A lot of gear didn't come home with us.
Me: "Why did you do that?"
Drummer: "So we had some cash to get home."
Me: "Fantastic, now how are we going to get there with our gear?"
A lot of gear didn't come home with us.
The guy who "owned" the band was ....well....dumb. He never had his gear right (he was one of the guitar players). I always had extra stuff around for him. I even carried a few packs of HIS strings in my case after we got burned by his not having any a few times. He would book a show for $300 and tell US it was for $750. At the end of the night, he would blaim it on the club owner "stiffing" us. Little did he know that I was personal friends with most of them and would find out the real story. Even though this was a side project, it was still hard to leave. He has been a close friend of mine for years. And bass players around here are extremely rare, so it set them back for quite some time. We're still friends but it took some time to get right with each other.
(4) Personal problems
(a) behavioral (egotistic/narcissistic), poor impulse control, Type A personality, unresolved psychological(control freak)/biological(ADD) issues, etc)
(b) substance abuse
(c) significant other/family/friend unresolved issues/drama
(d) poor communication skills
(e) financial mismanagement
(f) disorganized
(5) Inactivity - too much rehearsal/not enough gigs
(6) Low talent vs. ambition ratio
I quit one band because one singer was quite possibly the dumbest, most thick headed person I ever met. That wouldn't have been so bad, but in her own mind she thought she was some kind of genius.
During a break at one of our jams she spent about ten minutes lecturing me on why I should drink soy milk...her theory was that acid rain damages the grass and the cows eat the grass, thus producing bad milk. But since cows don't eat soy beans, soy milk must be better for you.
seriously...
During a break at one of our jams she spent about ten minutes lecturing me on why I should drink soy milk...her theory was that acid rain damages the grass and the cows eat the grass, thus producing bad milk. But since cows don't eat soy beans, soy milk must be better for you.
seriously...
The rest of the band going on a smoke break between every other song during rehearsals... that`s about 7 or 8 breaks during one practice... averaging 20 minutes per break...yeah, **** that.
Soundman asks me what I need, As I proceed to tell him
The Bandleader turns to me and says "Just shut the #### up and deal with what you got!"
Another one;
"We need you to Not rock out to much" after "rockin out" with them for 2 years in the same band
Yet another;
Spastic Panicky married couple trying to run a high profile Vegas act, Whoa!
The Bandleader turns to me and says "Just shut the #### up and deal with what you got!"
Another one;
"We need you to Not rock out to much" after "rockin out" with them for 2 years in the same band
Yet another;
Spastic Panicky married couple trying to run a high profile Vegas act, Whoa!
People just being lazy, and I was the only one booking gigs/making practices happen. After the last gig, I left and formed a new band. All four of my former bandmates didn't ever get back together or get into other groups. I doubt they even play any more, which is too bad. So you can see their charachter. Lazy.
I haven't quit yet but I'm about on the verge. Here's why: We started as a 5 piece. I came in to replace their old bassist/song writer. The keyboard player came in to replace their old rhythm guitarist. We played for about a month and then the other guitarist quit and the singer quit but never told us that she did. She just stopped coming to practices. The 3 of us, the drummer, the keyboard player, and I, continued to write songs and look for another guitarist and singer. We got a bunch of flakes who came and wasted our time for a few months at a time, and in 3 years time we played 4 gigs. We're now a 4 piece with no singer. I want to write and play songs as an instrumental group, since we can't keep singers to save out life, but the keyboard player insists that we WAIT for a singer to come along. I'm tired of waiting and I want to start playing out more. 4 gigs in 3 years because we always had a hard time keeping members is just not enough to keep on trying. I want to try something new but they continue to beat a dead horse. It's getting old and I want out.
i quit my last band because the singer / songwriter, despite having never been in a good band in his life, after the rest of us helping him arrange and polish his songs for months at a time and recording (with me on guitar, bass and keys because he can't hack it in the studio) a solid EP that went miles beyond anything he had done before, seemed to still believe that he was doing us all a favor by letting us fix his songs for him. he demanded we bring in a friend of his on guitar who we had rejected from the band multiple times because he wasn't any good, and that we go back to playing his crappy misfits-at-a-renaissance-fair wannabe punk tracks. the last straw was when he told the guitarist privately that he didn't expect me to stay in the band but he didn't care. guitarist called me and we moved our **** out of the rehearsal space the same night. haven't spoken to the guy since and can't imagine i ever will.
throughout my time in that band i was treated like the guy who was being a music nazi because i knew things like key signatures and chord tones, ridiculed for wanting to rehearse and improve the live set, ignored when i pointed out flaws that nobody wanted to put in the effort to work out... and now i have the satisfaction of knowing that this kid will probably never come close to being in as good a band because he doesn't have the guts to take a hard look at himself and identify his weaknesses and work them out. that, plus i kept the van.
throughout my time in that band i was treated like the guy who was being a music nazi because i knew things like key signatures and chord tones, ridiculed for wanting to rehearse and improve the live set, ignored when i pointed out flaws that nobody wanted to put in the effort to work out... and now i have the satisfaction of knowing that this kid will probably never come close to being in as good a band because he doesn't have the guts to take a hard look at himself and identify his weaknesses and work them out. that, plus i kept the van.
For me? It was the fact the band was going nowhere. I knew we'd ALWAYS be one of those bands that would never make it out of the local bar scene. To me, that wasn't acceptable.
Every city in the North America is chock full of bands like my old one that were somewhat good, but not good enough to go anywhere decent. For the time commitment involved, and how little we'd make for doing shows (while not going anywhere due to the bands collective dynamic) I just left since I had better things to do with my life and time.
Lifes too short to waste it, and I was doing just that jamming several evenings a week with a group of people that were going nowheres fast.
yes it was fun, yes I did have a great time doing shows but in the end it really wasn't worth it.
Every city in the North America is chock full of bands like my old one that were somewhat good, but not good enough to go anywhere decent. For the time commitment involved, and how little we'd make for doing shows (while not going anywhere due to the bands collective dynamic) I just left since I had better things to do with my life and time.
Lifes too short to waste it, and I was doing just that jamming several evenings a week with a group of people that were going nowheres fast.
yes it was fun, yes I did have a great time doing shows but in the end it really wasn't worth it.
dhomer
Commercial User
- Apr 9, 2009
- 675
- 13
- Disclosures
- Owner, Gigmaster Soundworks, Auth. greenboy designs builder, MI
Inactivity might be #1 for me. Music is a much needed second income. I don't normally get into personalities and personal lives, but I did leave one band due to the bandleader landing in jail (leading to inactivity..) Band I'm working with now, I sense that mediocrity is acceptable (I would settle for the drummer concentrating more on groove than his vocals..) Kinda hoping a good friend of mine finds the right ingredients for his 50's showband...
Well, having a "leader" whos head is firmly planted up her rear is definitely a factor! Lets just say she had a bit, just a bit of an ego problem. She thought she was the hottest musician on the block, thought she knew everything, and that everyone else was beneath her and should be "honored" to play with her! Sound familiar? This of course was the farthest from the truth, because in reality, she was a mediocre musician, at best, and didnt know what she was doing. Always unprepared, couldnt handle bookings, etc. etc. etc. So this was pretty annoying once I figured out she wasnt all that. And certainly with her as a "leader" you can imagine the band went nowhere. The only reason to stay involved in any kind of group, club, or relationship is because you see a future, you see it going somewhere (hopefully uphill). Once I realized I just wasted a year and a half of my life and that it was going nowhere, I bailed.
Well, as a gig whore none of this is a problem any more. But when I was actually part of the rat-race of "being in bands"...
1) Money.
Either outright lies, or trying to juggle figures so more ends up in their pocket. Worst offenders in my experience for this are where there's a married-or-might-as-well-be couple "running" the band. Don't get me started...
Now as a gig whore on a pre agreed pay, if I get screwed it's outright theft and I take appropriate action.
2) Band changes direction frequently.
Worst example was a Western Swing band I joined. Had a couple of hot multi-instrumentalists in it. Unfortunately after about a month one quit and then the other decided he was running things, which was sorta okay, except it got to the stage where one week we were gonna become a Cabaret band, then a week later we were gonna be an Electric 50's/ Rockabilly band, then a Country band, then a ..., well you get the idea. Worst thing was we could cover all these genres appropriately, but the band never settled on one identity.
3) Substance over-use/dependence.
Anything - booze, grass, speed, smack; sorry guys, IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A CREATIVE/GOOD MUSICIAN. IT TURNS YOU INTO AN EMBARRASSMENT AND MAKES YOU TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS.
4) Endless rehearsing with no actual plan in place.
i.e. A strategy for getting gigs, or where we wanna be in one month, six months, one year etc. Anyone who's been around the block will have been in a few of these.
As a gig whore rehearsals are paid and if they wanna waste time...
5) Being idiots at a gig.
Unfortunately if JUST ONE member of the band, or someone associated with the band, acts like a frickinidjit, the bar owner/general public perceives the WHOLE BAND as a bunch of frickinidjits. It might not be fair, or true, but it's a fact of life. So the next time the Singer's boyfriend decides it'll be real cool to do a burnout in the car park on his Hog, don't wonder why you don't get asked back. True story.
1) Money.
Either outright lies, or trying to juggle figures so more ends up in their pocket. Worst offenders in my experience for this are where there's a married-or-might-as-well-be couple "running" the band. Don't get me started...
Now as a gig whore on a pre agreed pay, if I get screwed it's outright theft and I take appropriate action.
2) Band changes direction frequently.
Worst example was a Western Swing band I joined. Had a couple of hot multi-instrumentalists in it. Unfortunately after about a month one quit and then the other decided he was running things, which was sorta okay, except it got to the stage where one week we were gonna become a Cabaret band, then a week later we were gonna be an Electric 50's/ Rockabilly band, then a Country band, then a ..., well you get the idea. Worst thing was we could cover all these genres appropriately, but the band never settled on one identity.
3) Substance over-use/dependence.
Anything - booze, grass, speed, smack; sorry guys, IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A CREATIVE/GOOD MUSICIAN. IT TURNS YOU INTO AN EMBARRASSMENT AND MAKES YOU TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS.
4) Endless rehearsing with no actual plan in place.
i.e. A strategy for getting gigs, or where we wanna be in one month, six months, one year etc. Anyone who's been around the block will have been in a few of these.
As a gig whore rehearsals are paid and if they wanna waste time...
5) Being idiots at a gig.
Unfortunately if JUST ONE member of the band, or someone associated with the band, acts like a frickinidjit, the bar owner/general public perceives the WHOLE BAND as a bunch of frickinidjits. It might not be fair, or true, but it's a fact of life. So the next time the Singer's boyfriend decides it'll be real cool to do a burnout in the car park on his Hog, don't wonder why you don't get asked back. True story.
Reasons why I WOULD quit a band? Inactivity, I would never quit a band because of character flaws in other band mates because I wouldn't join a band unless I knew I could stand everyone in it...
Reason that I DID quit a band? Well, it was in my days as a vocalist...I wanted to play bass.
Reason that I DID quit a band? Well, it was in my days as a vocalist...I wanted to play bass.
A few reasons why I had to quit a band:
1) Singer told me to settle down on stage as I was showing him up and making him feel uneasy
2) Original band was becoming a good success, so I had no time to dedicate to that particular cover band
3) Substance abuse
4) Moving to another province/state
The most prevalent reason in my quittings was Substance Abuse. It always broke the band's direction, progress and tightness.
1) Singer told me to settle down on stage as I was showing him up and making him feel uneasy
2) Original band was becoming a good success, so I had no time to dedicate to that particular cover band
3) Substance abuse
4) Moving to another province/state
The most prevalent reason in my quittings was Substance Abuse. It always broke the band's direction, progress and tightness.
