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Reasons to quit a band?

#41
capnsandwich said:
...the keyboard player insists that we WAIT for a singer to come along. I'm tired of waiting and I want to start playing out more...
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That's odd, dude...especially coming from a keyboard player of all things. :rolleyes: I don't get why you can't book gigs (weddings, parties, whatever else) as an instrumental group and add a singer later when you find one. I just don't see the harm in that. That keyboardist is either really weird or afraid of something. Maybe he doesn't want to be the "front man" and wants a singer to take that heat off of him. Mmmm-I dunno...bizzare.
 
#44
I quit my first "band" before it even hit the stage... none of us were really knowing what to do or how to play our instruments at the time. We were decent for our age group but a few factors drove me away:

1. We fought every practice, many reasons caused it. I was a jerk to them alot of the time, but they never wanted to play at practice. They only wanted to play video games.

2. Inactivity, probably the biggest factor for me. I quit when we had 5 practices under our belt... in 7 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Musical differences, our guitarist wanted to do more of the hardcore metal when our drummer wanted more classic rock like me. But I wanted to do some classic stuff from the 80s.

In the end I sent them a message on myspace stating that I was quitting. The guitarist and I still talk very regularly to this day and still remain good friends, he said he would form another band with me again if somthin ever happened to his. I lost track of what the drummer was doing but then again... I dont really care either.
 
#45
jaywa said:
I have never quit a band, but I can think of 5 things that would make me quit without any further discussion.

1) Being physically or verbally assaulted by another band member. (Same would apply if the target was my wife or any other member of my family.)

2) Being called out/humiliated on stage by another band member or the band leader.

3) Having my gear or other personal property stolen by another band member.

4) Band auditioning a replacement for me behind my back.

5) Band leader shorting/stiffing me on pay.

I'm a pretty laid back guy and a lot of things don't bother me that much, but if I was in a band where any of these things happened to me, they would only happen to me once cause I'd be out of there after that.
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I agree with all but #4.
Any wise band leader is going to keep a network of subs and possible replacements (or at least some phone numbers in the Roladex) in case you decide to quit. I know that I would like to have as many musicians contacts as possible so that my project won't crumble if someone decides to quit, gets hit by a bus and dies, whatever.
In theater, a smart director keeps under-studies of his actors so that if one is unavailable for whatever reason, another one knows all the lines and is just a phone call away. Not sure why we expect band leaders to do otherwise. I think it's a very smart move. A sub/replacement should be auditioned and should learn the set list and be a phone call away. A band leader who isn't prepared for the possibility that some one might quit, isn't a very wise leader.
Especially if these are paying gigs. Your day job employer has a file of applicants should an opening arise. Once your day job employer decides to fire you, he/she will have interviewed someone for your spot. I know that no one likes the idea that someone might have the upper hand on them--but it is a business relationship and you don't want a leader who isn't wise about business, right?
On the other side, a band leader who thinks he needs to let you go should have the professionalism to give you some notice and not just surprise you with it. "I don't think it's going to work out because (whatever reason), but you're welcome to finish our upcoming gig dates with us." If that's possible, of course...assuming you're not violent, a wasted druggy, or a thief.
I dunno...makes sense to me anyway.
 
#46
I quit a hobby trio - real story.

She was fat, old and yodelled.. meant well - just didn't have "it" I played for fun

That's not the quitting reason.

SO .. an old lady friend is married to a prominante roots blues dude.. he needs a fill in (1 euorpe month for $15k)

He goes on line..

She emails "who the hell is XXXXXX"

Turns out I was on youtube cited with this lady...

Screwed up my credibility.

Tim
 
#47
Basically there's 3 reasons to take your Bass out of it's case:

1) to have fun
2) to make money
or
3) to learn something

It's up to you to decide how much of each ingredient is needed in the mix to make you happy. For me, more money means I'll be okay with less fun. More fun, I'll be happy with less money (within reason). If none of these apply, walk.

BTW, I got this from Barney Kessell (sp?) in a Guitar Player interview and he got it from someone else, I can't remember who.
 
#49
L.S.D.
Lead singers disease is a frequent cause of people heading for the exit.

The singer in question thought he was God's Gift....I didn't agree....time for me to go.

Eventually his BS ran the entire band into the ground and that was that.
 
#50
totallyfrozen said:
I agree with all but #4.
Any wise band leader is going to keep a network of subs and possible replacements (or at least some phone numbers in the Roladex) in case you decide to quit. I know that I would like to have as many musicians contacts as possible so that my project won't crumble if someone decides to quit, gets hit by a bus and dies, whatever.... I dunno...makes sense to me anyway.
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I agree on this. I wouldn't have a problem with a band using a sub for me, if was ever needed. What I meant in my original post was if a band was auditioning players to be my permanent replacement, without telling me about it. Then I'd be leaving fast. If you're not happy with something I'm doing or not doing, fine, but say it to my face and preferably, give me a chance to address those shortcomings. Don't just go all cloak-and-dagger on me and all the sudden I get a call or an e-mail that says, we're using a new guy, seeya later.
 
#51
I will just sum them up as I have moved on....

Egotism, Bullying, Unprofessionalism, No idea how to write a song but think they do...I guess that can come under egotism, the members were always on drugs and fighting, attitude problems, and basically the members were not serious although they thought they were actually going to go somewhere....go figure hey?:rolleyes:
 
#52
I quit a band for a lot of the mentioned reasons.

Someone mentioned not remembering parts. Its funny. The band I was in I had the hardest time remembering parts. I practiced outside of rehearsal too. I would come in and boom. I would drop out a lot because I forgot my part. Fast foward to the band I am in. I remember parts for new songs after we take a week long brake. I think I was uninterested in the music that I was playing, now that I think of it.

I was very unhappy in that band. I sadly had to drink my way through it the first couple of months. When the wife and I got back from our honeymoon I thought about quiting that band for 2 months til one day the lead guitarist and I went to GC and we both said at the same time "Im not happy in this band". I got to go first. He was on the same page as me. So I quit. He stuck around for a month till the whole band threw in the towel. The drummer is my brother in law. We are tight. The singer/other lead guitarist("Just let him solo. You sing.)...well he is just weird.

Anyways. The real lead guitarist and I are now in a band. With an old friend of mine on drums. We all agreed that we should focus on our instruments and find a singer. This is going to be fun.
 
#54
Stumbo said:
(6) Low talent vs. ambition ratio
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I can think of several bands in which that never even mattered.;)
  • Fall out Boy
  • Blink-182
  • Green Day
They ain't exactly masters. Never stopped them.

ON TOPIC:
I've never quit, but my reasons would probably be,

1)Different plans-Different people wanting to play different songs, i.e. originals in a cover band, having different musical directions, etc.

2)Arrogance-If a member gained an inflated opinion of himself, i.e. singer who sucks and thinks he's amazing

3)Control freak-Thinks he runs the band

4)Inefficient practice-If you spend more of your time fighting during the practice session than actually practicing, it's time to leave

5)Paycheck thieves-Enough said
 
#56
I've quit two bands because one of the members truly sucked and was dragging down the band but the rest of the band wanted him to stay.

First band - We successfully played for a year as a trio and the drummer and guitarist let one of their guitar buddies worm his way in by letting him jam with us a few occasional practices and before I knew it we had two guitar players. The guy was a total noob and had crap equipment and he didn't know how to play chords properly and he wasn't interested in practicing the songs at home or even listening to suggestions about how to properly play stuff. He was awful, but the drummer and guitarist didn't want to hurt his feelings and I was the only one who voted to kick him out. I was outvoted so when it became obvious that the guy wasn't going to get any better, I went to pursue other projects.

Second band - The band was a Black Sabbath cover band and when I joined they had no "Ozzy" so I usually sang most of the songs at rehearsals while we were auditioning singers. Other times, the guitar players friends would take turns singing the "Ozzy" parts while we practiced, and one of these guys was particularly terrible. He had a voice like a combination of Ronnie James Dio and Ethyl Merman - only badly out of tune. The guitarist had put together the band and he was pretty much in charge of it and for whatever reason (maybe he was on crack) he decided to make this guy our permanent singer.

It was just unbearable. Trying to pull off Ozzy in a Black Sabbath cover band is tough enough but this guy just plain sucked and we did a few shows and got reviews of "The band itself is great - the singer sucks ***. " The guitarist said he wasn't about to fire his friend and we could stop asking him to hold more auditions and that was that. The drummer and I quit to form a band that actually cared about what we sounded like live.*







*That's another story
 
#57
Here's the story of the band I formed with the drummer. We found two excellent guitarists and quickly got ourselves into shape as a 70's and 80's heavy metal cover band and started playing shows. The drummer was absolutely phenomenal but we soon found out he was kind of a quirky guy and was prone to odd emotional outbursts and other childish behavior.

Over the course of a year we put up with temper tantrums from him and pouting and refusing to play certain songs because he didn't feel like it, and other times we'd have to call off practices because he would goof around so much that we couldn't get anything done. But his shows were truly great and I have yet to work with a more talented drummer.

The guy lived with his mother in her basement (even though he was his thirties) and he could never keep a job more than a week without getting fired. The guitarist even got him a job in the warehouse where he worked and he told me he was just too "immature" to do even the simple tasks they gave him and he only lasted a few days there. The drummer said he preferred not to work because he liked to practice the drums at least 8 hours a day and work would interfere with that.

I'm pretty sure he has some mental illness and we tried talking about it with his mother but she got angry about it and then we tried bringing it up with him and he got really upset and started crying and then he screamed at us and kicked us out of the practice place (his mom's house). By the next practice he acted like it had never happened.

Eventually, his temper tantrums crept into our live shows and he would stop playing in the middle of the song for no reason and play something else and force the rest of the band into an improvised jam or he would take over one of the microphones and start telling jokes like he was a stand up comic - jokes that made no sense but which he would laugh at himself, hysterically.

One night he just didn't show up for a gig and we drove to his house and he was sitting in his underwear playing video games. He told us that he couldn't play the show because he was too busy and he needed to go to his cousin's wedding which was starting in a 1/2 hour. okay, then. . . .

We did our last show without him "unplugged" and somehow managed to entertain the audience and even get paid, but we all quit and the band broke up.

I often wonder what happened to him and every time I've tried searching for him online, I come up empty.
 
#60
phatbass said:
Basically there's 3 reasons to take your Bass out of it's case:

1) to have fun
2) to make money
or
3) to learn something

...

BTW, I got this from Barney Kessell (sp?) in a Guitar Player interview and he got it from someone else, I can't remember who.
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BINGO!!

That someone else was [electric guitar pioneer] Charlie Christian. I heard that a while back and IME over the years it's absolutely dead on.


I'll put up with a lot more $#!& if the experience is expanding my playing.

I'd play for free if the fun factor was great enough.

And sometimes I'll play a gig that drives me nuts and doesn't challenge me at all, but I really need the money.


If you have a gig that gives you all 3 elements (fun / money / learning) you are very lucky indeed - stay right where you are.

If you're getting one or two of them in sufficient quantity, it's worth hanging.

And when there's not enough of any one to compensate for the lack of the others, that's when you quit.
 

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