Missing another rule:
If you are dating Adele, Alanis Morissette, or Gwen Stefani, make sure the breakup is amicable.
If you are dating Adele, Alanis Morissette, or Gwen Stefani, make sure the breakup is amicable.
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Rules for dating a musician
- Thread starter Loel
- Start date
Missing yet another rule:
"Do not touch your boyfriend/girlfriend's bass or any other gear unless you know what the hell you're doing."
Almost lost a Les Paul Jr. due to that. >.>
"Do not touch your boyfriend/girlfriend's bass or any other gear unless you know what the hell you're doing."
Almost lost a Les Paul Jr. due to that. >.>
As someone from the other side of the coin...."rule follower" apparently, most of those are actually pretty good pieces of advice. I suppose every occupation could have a poster like that though.
Getting used to celebrating holidays on non-holiday days/and birthdays on non-birthday days was probably the toughest adjustment for me. But you learn that holidays tend to pay better than other days, so they have to take those gigs and you celebrate another day. As you get older it's not too big a deal.
We actually did take advantage of turning out of town gigs into vacations. We had all day together and then he worked at night. Sometimes I'd go if able and sometimes I hung out in the room and studied or did my nails. Then once married and we had a baby, we took her everywhere (Jazz musician - so it was appropriate). Now the "baby" is 15 and sitting in on the gigs with her dad - so that worked out
Overall dating/marrying a musician is a different type of life/relationship, but it sure has it's perks. I've met so many amazing musicians, legends and otherwise. It's pretty cool to be "with the band"
Getting used to celebrating holidays on non-holiday days/and birthdays on non-birthday days was probably the toughest adjustment for me. But you learn that holidays tend to pay better than other days, so they have to take those gigs and you celebrate another day. As you get older it's not too big a deal.
We actually did take advantage of turning out of town gigs into vacations. We had all day together and then he worked at night. Sometimes I'd go if able and sometimes I hung out in the room and studied or did my nails. Then once married and we had a baby, we took her everywhere (Jazz musician - so it was appropriate). Now the "baby" is 15 and sitting in on the gigs with her dad - so that worked out
Overall dating/marrying a musician is a different type of life/relationship, but it sure has it's perks. I've met so many amazing musicians, legends and otherwise. It's pretty cool to be "with the band"
Mom told me that when she married Dad she made a decision to hold this understanding, that she was his second wife and music was his first. As long as she understood that and kept true to it, everything was fine. She also said she never regretted for a single minute her decision. Never once was there carping about his having a job to play. They were fantastic together and traveled the world extensively, partly as a result of her understanding, to be sure.
iJazz - I also miss Mom & Dad.
iJazz said:
+1 ...She sounds wonderful! I have an amazing mother-in-law who has been in my shoes as well and she gave me lots of sage advice. No regrets ever and I couldn't imagine any other life.
jamestown94west said:
I have 31 basses. When she asked me why I had do many, I told her they were all set up differently. Some had rounds, some flats, some active, some passive, etc. she then asked if they were really that different. I told her "I have all of them because God said I could only have one of you." She never complained again.
iJazz said:
My wife quickly learned this while we were dating. As soon as she accepted that, everything was great. She knows music is my love, but also knows I always come home to her. I don't mess around at gigs and I always approach them like work. I don't drink to make an a** of myself or screw around otherwise. Most of my musician friends say I'm lucky. My wife is really attractive AND she's understanding. I often Get "...dude, if she wasn't with you..." She's NEVER given me grief about being out late or anything else as long as I take care of home and family. I am blessed.
- Jan 27, 2010
- 4,141
- 471
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification
iJazz said:
This is usually true, but there are exceptions. My girl and I met while in a band together, and now we have our own. For me it's ideal, we get to be together all the time, I don't get lonely on the road, and she doesn't have to wonder what I'm up to. And we know that each of us is 100% committed, and there are no ego driven power struggles, we're both each other's biggest supporters. I'm convinced now that this is the only kind of relationship that works for me. Even with the most understanding "civilian" women I've been with the jealousy always became an issue.
"Why do you have so many basses/so much gear, etc.?"
"Why do you have so many shoes/dresses, etc.?"
Sorry, couldn't help myself.
If the money is there, and when spent on "stuff" does not otherwise detract from the couple's quality of life together and may in fact increase the happiness factor, where's the harm?
My beautiful bride of 20 years helped me buy my last bass with her OWN hard-earned $$. For her 50th, I bought her a Miata. Now we're both poor, but we have each other, and except for having little cash, we're STILL happy....
"Why do you have so many shoes/dresses, etc.?"
Sorry, couldn't help myself.
If the money is there, and when spent on "stuff" does not otherwise detract from the couple's quality of life together and may in fact increase the happiness factor, where's the harm?
My beautiful bride of 20 years helped me buy my last bass with her OWN hard-earned $$. For her 50th, I bought her a Miata. Now we're both poor, but we have each other, and except for having little cash, we're STILL happy....
My fiance recently gave me the ok the redirect funds saved for her wedding ring in order for me to pursue an opportunity to buy my dream bass. I then quickly sold one of my trucks I no longer drove and bought her ring. She did me a favor, I did her a favor, we're both happy.
i feel like whoever wrote that was actually being serious when they probably shouldn't have been lol..
Ah but it does which is one nice thing about being or staying single if your involved in music in a serious way. There are always exceptions but most wives I know would paper over that with their two very simple rules.
Rule number one; The woman is always right. (also known as don't confuse me with facts my mind is made up)
and of course
Rule number two; Whenever in doubt in any situation involving conflict please consult Rule number one.
That's about it in many households. Learn it, live it and practice the words, "of course honey I understand" daily.
Divorces can put a serious dent in your GAS budget.
