What we perceive the surface sheen of an instrument is based on both the actual surface texture as well as how light is scattered as it travels through the surface film and is reflected back to our eyes. Both of those aspects of the surface finish are important to address.
The physical scattering of light as it travels through the finish is a function of flatting agents that are mixed into the finish material, some are better than others and contain more or less of these flatting agents. You can purchase the material to mix into your own finishes, but you risk negative impact on the other qualities we look for in a protective finish.
The actual surface texture is a physical quality we control by the degree we "polish" the finish after it has fully cured. If you try and create the "satin or mat" look solely from surface conditioning then you'll have areas that increase in shininess where they are physically polished by mechanical contact with clothing, etc.
Many of us who are home brew finishers opt for the double-edged strategy of using a good finish with flatting agents within and surface abrasion by mechanical means.
My finish of choice is 3 coats of Minwax Satin Wipe On Poly (not the water-based variety) applied over 24 hours and followed by a LIGHT abrading of the surface with 0000 steel wool after a full cure.
I found out several years back that the quality of the results improved a lot by using GOOD steel wool, not the hardware store stuff. I HIGHLY advise anyone doing surface dulling of a top coat to use ONLY Liberion brand steel wool. It's readily available where quality woodworking materials are sold, and on Amazon if that's how you shop.
I have the large roll, but smaller quantities are also available.
https://www.amazon.com/Liberon-Steel-Wool-0000-Roll/dp/B001GUA82S
There are many who prefer the synthetic pads for dulling the final finish. I have all the grades, but truthfully I guess I'm old school as I'm really comfortable with 0000 steel wool unless there are magnetic pickups involved, and there are ways to easily protect those.
If you use that two-pronged technique then you can easily hit the finish with 0000 steel wool should you notice an area where the shine is bothering you. Quick n' easy.
Neck finishes in general are a bit more problematic because different people react differently to the how they perceive the "stickiness" of a neck finish. For those areas I've been experimenting with various wax (not oil) finishes. I have been most happy with heat application of either pure beeswax or pure Carnauba (NOT mixed commercial products). Both of these can produce a highly comfortable non-stick neck surface that has a finish texture that mirrors the degree of sanding you did for finish preparation. Te single drawback is the finish can trap a bit of internal moisture and may appear cloudy. It's very minimal, but that's why I have been experimenting with hard oils.
If you want to know more about heat-applied pure wax, see post #65 in this topic:
30” Scale Compact Semi-acoustic Fretless Bass Build
My last couple of guitars have had necks finished with Osmo PolyX Satin hard oil. This finish was developed for the European wood floor market and has been in use for many years. It is expensive, but it takes very little to finish a neck. I am very satisfied with the finish so far in my personal instruments.
I don't sand beyond 220 for anything I'm looking for finish to stick to or be absorbed by.