Sexual dysfunction treatments.. what's your take?

[Sav'nBass]

Ok so let me start this out by saying that .. I have tried Viagra.. and Cialis.. and they both have their place.. I'm 62.. so everything works .. but not always like it used to .. sometimes but not always... and I have no qualms or shame or anything in saying that there are times when the extra umph helps..

Having said that .. this is not about me.. A close relative and her husband just broke up .. they are divorcing.. and they had a lot of issues... and one of them was his ED ... (there were other serious issues as well that prompted the breakup that were only compounded by the ED..). For her the issue was not so much the ED but that he refused to do anything about it.. I spoke to him and suggested that he see his doctor.. He said "Man I ain't takin no pill .. I don't need no pill man.." so I told him "Look.. you are 57 you have high blood pressure you are overweight.. put your ego aside and just try it... " He refused.. the divorce is pending.. On the flip side.. I have heard women say that they do not like the fact that a man needs a pill to get aroused by them.. and they resent it..

My take on this is.. sex is not always about desire.. there is a physiological component involved that, no matter how much you want it .. if certain physical conditions are not met.. it is not happening.. For men it involves getting that erection.. for women it involves dryness.. and as quiet as it is kept there are a lot of women in their 50s and up (some even younger) who suffer from vaginal dryness.. just like there are men of all ages who have difficulty getting and keeping erections.. I think that there are a lot of couples out here who are needlessly suffering when there are options available.. but people let their egos get in the way ..

The thing I discovered with the two treatments I mentioned .. is that if the desire is there.. especially if the love is there.. and you have that mind connection but the body does not always want to cooperate.. these things do wonders.. They also help with enlarged prostate issues.. and urination if you are there in your life.

What are your takes on this? Ladies feel free to chime in. Would you feel offended if you knew that your husband or boyfriend was taking Viagra or something similar or would you just roll with it.. ? Fellas .. would you feel "less than" if you had to go that route.. or would you see it like taking an antacid for heartburn or ibuprophen for a headache..?

 

[Stumbo]

Stigma of meds also applies to psychiatric treatments. Lots of people needlessly suffering.
Been to TB's Effects Forum? There's a pedal for every purpose. Kinda like meds. Whatever works.​

 

[jchrisk1]

Whatever it takes to keep the love alive.

 

[buldog5151bass]

If you need a med, you need a med. Would you complain about someone who needs medication for any other medical issue? Think about it.

You may not WANT to have cancer, but without that chemo...

 

[Funky Ghost]

It could be that testosterone replacement could be a viable route if his Dr. agrees. It helps with the ED but also weight gain and energy over-all. Been thinking about it myself as I find my body sliding past "dad bod" and into "dad blob".

 

[jchrisk1]

It could be that testosterone replacement could be a viable route if his Dr. agrees. It helps with the ED but also weight gain and energy over-all. Been thinking about it myself as I find my body sliding past "dad bod" and into "dad blob".

Testosterone is what a friend of mine did. It worked for him. He tried Viagra once, but there was a problem.


His wife only wanted talk all night.

 

[mellowinman]

2,000 mg of L-Arginine. Calcium, Magnesium and Zinc supplements. Pomegranate juice. The right mind set. If "it" doesn't work there's plenty of stuff to be done. Be a lover, in every way.
55 years old. Never took Viagra, etc, and hope not to for awhile. Would if it were necessary. The formula I just advised is very, very reliable. Zinc is what is in oysters. I think mindset is the most important thing.

What I mean is, if "it" doesn't work, and you don't panic, you'll find touching, kissing, massage and just giving her attention can put your mind at ease, and if some time passes, and suddenly there it is, she will be very, very impressed.

And if not, she's probably not worth the trouble. Sorry to be so blunt.

 

[JRA]

whatever works =

 

[MJ5150]

I could see that creating anxiety for the man or the woman. A frank discussion would need to accompany any decision in that regard, before it is made.

-Mike

 

[hbarcat]

Back in my 20's I had a single friend my age who was amazingly popular with women. He was good looking and sociable and very charismatic with a great sense of humor. He always had dates and the women were literally lined up to hang out with him romantically. He confided in me that his battle with severe childhood onset diabetes made him absolutely impotent. So he found other ways to please women and there were times when he was satisfied to just take sex off the table and be emotionally, rather than physically, intimate.

I don't know if there is any point to this anecdote other than you should make the most of what you have available. If there are tools that you can use to achieve your goals, then go ahead and use them if you want. And if that isn't possible, then you can either redefine your goals and be happy with the results or else be miserable.

 

[pcake]

i'm a woman, and i'd be concerned about my husband's health if he had high blood pressure, kidney disease or a variety of other issues and started with viagra. and believe me, i'm much more concerned about his health and well being than our sex life. there are many ways of pleasing each other that don't include... well, not sure how i can put it on this board.

as far as taking someone's ED personally - i can't imagine that. maybe some women don't really understand what ED is. what it's NOT is a comment on their attractiveness.

and, as hbarcat mentioned, sometimes taking sex off the table and focusing on intimacy - holding, talking, kissing - are more important than banging away. i, too, had a male friend who had an insane track record with women. when guys would ask him his secret, he said he listened - really listened - to women, and when they were together, he focused on intimacy rather than sex. it must have worked, although in his case, he wouldn't say no to sex, and he got plenty of it. but he really did like women, and it showed. the only other guy i ever knew who was as popular with the ladies used to tell them he was gay and had never been with a woman. it wasn't true, but it seems that most women can't resist a challenge.

 

[48thStreetCustom]

Medications like antidepressants can cause ED and other problems down there.

 

[Pbassmanca]

Ok so let me start this out by saying that .. I have tried Viagra.. and Cialis.. and they both have their place.. I'm 62.. so everything works .. but not always like it used to .. sometimes but not always... and I have no qualms or shame or anything in saying that there are times when the extra umph helps..

Having said that .. this is not about me.. A close relative and her husband just broke up .. they are divorcing.. and they had a lot of issues... and one of them was his ED ... (there were other serious issues as well that prompted the breakup that were only compounded by the ED..). For her the issue was not so much the ED but that he refused to do anything about it.. I spoke to him and suggested that he see his doctor.. He said "Man I ain't takin no pill .. I don't need no pill man.." so I told him "Look.. you are 57 you have high blood pressure you are overweight.. put your ego aside and just try it... " He refused.. the divorce is pending.. On the flip side.. I have heard women say that they do not like the fact that a man needs a pill to get aroused by them.. and they resent it..

My take on this is.. sex is not always about desire.. there is a physiological component involved that, no matter how much you want it .. if certain physical conditions are not met.. it is not happening.. For men it involves getting that erection.. for women it involves dryness.. and as quiet as it is kept there are a lot of women in their 50s and up (some even younger) who suffer from vaginal dryness.. just like there are men of all ages who have difficulty getting and keeping erections.. I think that there are a lot of couples out here who are needlessly suffering when there are options available.. but people let their egos get in the way ..

The thing I discovered with the two treatments I mentioned .. is that if the desire is there.. especially if the love is there.. and you have that mind connection but the body does not always want to cooperate.. these things do wonders.. They also help with enlarged prostate issues.. and urination if you are there in your life.

What are your takes on this? Ladies feel free to chime in. Would you feel offended if you knew that your husband or boyfriend was taking Viagra or something similar or would you just roll with it.. ? Fellas .. would you feel "less than" if you had to go that route.. or would you see it like taking an antacid for heartburn or ibuprophen for a headache..?

Anyone who gets offended by their spouses ED is misinforned and ignorant of the main causes of it. Look up "Full Mast" men's health clinics. I heard an ad on the radio recently. Apparently some kind of sonic wave therapy that puts the "funk back in your junk!!! The "hard back in your yard!!!" The "rock back in your jock!!!" I could keep going, but.......my wife apparently wants a massage......

 

[Dr. Cheese]

If your significant other doesn’t mind it, the pump can help you hump with no drugs at all.

 

[Pbassmanca]

Thing is, if your woman needs some loving, you got to find a way!

 

[IamGroot]

Practice makes perfect

 

[Bass Viking]

I heard an ad on the radio recently. Apparently some kind of sonic wave therapy that puts the "funk back in your junk!!!

You mean in the same vein as The Brown Note?

 

[hbarcat]

Medications like antidepressants can cause ED and other problems down there.

I just did a quick search and it seems that about 40 million Americans are taking medications to treat depression or high blood pressure or other health issues which have known side effects that negatively affect libido and sexual function.

I have personal experience with this. My doctor once prescribed such a medication and said nothing about the possible side effects. He just told me to take it and I was left to assume that it would magically do what it was supposed to do without any negative consequences. It totally killed my libido along with my passion for playing and listening to music.

Some common medications have a powerful affect on our emotions and mental functioning and most patients taking them have no idea that it's happening.

 

[Pbassmanca]

Bringing new meaning to the words "tension" and "stiffness" on Talkbass.......

 

[Groove Doctor]

Each of these will help reversible ED:

1. Address Medical Problems first:
Overweight/Obesity, Diabetes, low testosterone levels, medication side effect, etc.

2. Improve your Lifestyle next:
Improve diet, regular cardio & strength exercises, more sleep/better quality of sleep, supplements, etc.

3. Better manage Life Stressors:
Long work hours, relational & financial problems, etc.