Sexual dysfunction treatments.. what's your take?

[Pbassmanca]

Each of these will help reversible ED:

1. Address Medical Problems first:
Overweight/Obesity, Diabetes, low testosterone levels, medication side effect, etc.

2. Improve your Lifestyle next:
Improve diet, regular cardio & strength exercises, more sleep/better quality of sleep, supplements, etc.

3. Better manage Life Stressors:
Long work hours, relational & financial problems, etc.

Bang on man, bang on!

 

[Sav'nBass]

Great stuff here guys.. I agree with most of this.. It's a tough nut .. (no pun intended) and a sad situation..

 

[hbarcat]

Most women know that a huge part of having satisfying intimate relationships with a partner is to first become very comfortable with their own bodies. When they know themselves and understand how their body responds when they're alone and under no pressure, they can be more confident and in control when with another person.

For some reason, this idea hasn't caught on very well among men. There seems to be some kind of taboo about intimate self knowledge for the male gender and it's often actively discouraged and made into something to be embarrassed about. As a result, many grown men don't know what to expect from their own bodies when they are with a partner and lack confidence in their ability to perform. Lack of confidence and fear of embarrassment are killers for getting and staying up.

 

[two fingers]

Yeah, of I needed the help in the form of a pill, I'll do it.... in a minute. Her Higness (Mrs.Fingers) shall be pleased, one way or the other.

But, it would also be a "wake up call" of sorts to get my body and mind in order.

Even if exercise, a better diet and relaxing my mind didn't fix my ED.... worst case I would be healthier anyway.

So, there would be no shame in getting help from medication. Being married is hard work. Being married and not being able to "perform" (at least until a ripe old age) WOULD be a shame.

 

[blastoff99]

A close relative and her husband just broke up .. they are divorcing.. and they had a lot of issues... and one of them was his ED ... (there were other serious issues as well that prompted the breakup that were only compounded by the ED..). For her the issue was not so much the ED but that he refused to do anything about it.. I spoke to him and suggested that he see his doctor.. He said "Man I ain't takin no pill .. I don't need no pill man.." so I told him "Look.. you are 57 you have high blood pressure you are overweight.. put your ego aside and just try it... " He refused.. the divorce is pending.. On the flip side.. I have heard women say that they do not like the fact that a man needs a pill to get aroused by them.. and they resent it..

I could see that creating anxiety for the man or the woman. A frank discussion would need to accompany any decision in that regard, before it is made.

-Mike

OP, Congrats on your pending marriage, btw. I hope it works out great!

First, a quick comment about the line I italicized: 'Arousal' can mean multiple things - emotional OR physical. While they can exist at the same time, physical problems, side effects to medication, etc can make it so a dude can be 110% emotionally / mentally ready to go, but physically not so much. If I'm correctly understanding what the little blue pill and its cousins do, they don't help with emotional arousal, or desire. They help with a hydraulics deficiency. So for a woman to say that she doesn't like that a guy needs to take a pill to be aroused by her, she's either saying that she believes the pills help with emotional arousal, or that she believes a guy shouldn't take a pill to overcome a physical problem.

In either case, it seems like that's a misconception on the order of a guy saying 'Ok, I get that you're post-menopausal and all that, but if you really wanted to have sex with me, then you'd be able to produce your own lubrication instead of relying on this stuff in a tube.' Uh, no. That's not going to work out.

*****

The line I bolded, and Mike's comment, are really important. Communication and action are key. Before I married, I said to the person who is now my ex, 'The thing that I see as a really big issue and the only thing that I think could end this marriage is your refusal to take care of your diabetes.' That was prescient. Although there were other issues, most of them were an outgrowth of this. Would I divorce someone for having diabetes? No. But the dozens of bits of fallout from refusal to manage this were plenty, and after 17 years I'd had enough of the BS.

Communication AND action are important. To Mike's point, anything in a marriage that affects the other partner, which in one way or another is most things, needs to be brought up as a topic of conversation first. I can envision a scenario in which a guy with ED finally goes to the doctor and gets the Rx, and takes a pill that evening as a surprise to the missus. Maybe it's been years - and while this would seem like a pleasant development, it might be something that she is not emotionally prepared for. Maybe she has her own physical issues that he doesn't know about because he's never bothered to ask. Maybe she was happier with a different kind of touch. But it could cause upheaval and distrust in their marriage.

 

[MJ5150]

@blastoff99 well said my friend.

-Mike