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Should I be offended?

#23
piano fighter said:
Hi TB,

I got a call to help a friend's band who needed a bass player for a show on the 20th, and agreed to go to a practice before I made my decision.


Tonight I go to friend's house for practice, he's the guitar player, and he and the singer are there showing me a few of the songs and keys and all that, and they told me we'd probably go to the drummer's later to get the whole group together. I had a really good time and was looking forward to seeing it as a whole.

Anyway, we get all our stuff together to go to the drummer's house, I'm waiting for them in my car, when the guitar player comes out and says that the drummer just called, and for whatever reason wants to go over ONLY his drum stuff, because they haven't been playing together long. The drummer knew I was there. So they ask if I don't mind coming out tomorrow night or Friday night while they work with just the drummer tonight.

Fine, BUT this is why I'm upset, and I wonder if I'm justified in being upset. I drove half an hour out there to play for one hour, only to be asked to leave and drive the half hour home because they drummer doesn't want to practice with me. I'm not mad at the guitar player or the singer, and have yet to meet the drummer, but I find it rude that they asked me to do this as a favor and then this is what happens. I'll go out one more time, but still, I ask you, is it fair of me to be upset in this situation?
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Yes. I'd be upset at the drummer, and also the rest of the band members for allowing it to happen this way.
 
#27
I would be torqued hard. What chumps!

Unlike others who say do the gig if you want to and if the money's good... I would not be comfortable playing with them. I would be stewing the entire gig, going over in my mind how they yanked my chain, not happy to be there, therefore not having fun, therefore... I wouldn't do the gig. But that's just me.

And yes, even though I'm a 40-something supposed adult, I sometimes have a hard time letting stuff like this pass.
 
#28
Yeah, I mean we're all about to be seniors in college, and have played in bands before, so they should know how to be adults by now.

I think it is time to say forget it because they said they would keep me updated about a practice tonight and they have not, and I have made other plans. Next time they need someone, I'll tell them to find someone else because they should know how to handle this and they don't.
 
#31
They sound like amateurs. Rise above it. Be better than them.

That the drummer said for you to go, makes me think he was nervous of his abilities or is very immature.

99.9% of drummers LOVE playing with a bassist. If he doesn't yet get the importance of that he has a lot to learn!

I'd go along with what the others on here have said - state clearly and calmly that you will do the gig, get paid, and will not put up with having your time wasted.

They sound a bit flaky and are acting like boys in a gang, so I can't overstate the need to be very calm about it - don't give them any excuses to dismiss what you say as some kind of girl thing. :rolleyes:

After that, unless they shape up, I'd not go back.

Let us know what happens!

:bassist:
 
#33
piano fighter said:
Yeah, I mean we're all about to be seniors in college, and have played in bands before, so they should know how to be adults by now.

I think it is time to say forget it because they said they would keep me updated about a practice tonight and they have not, and I have made other plans. Next time they need someone, I'll tell them to find someone else because they should know how to handle this and they don't.
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Missed this, yeah sounds sensible, you can't be hanging about waiting for them to get it together. They probably never will, based on similar situations seen time and time again on TB.
 
#35
Sounds to me like there is more going on than the OP is aware of. Methinks the drummer was probably wasted, fried, naked or his place was trashed and he didn't want to have someone he didn't know witness any or all of the above.
 
#36
I wouldn't be a part of these guys group if this was me.

1) They figure if they can jerk you around once, they can do it again.

2) If you come back, you'd seem desperate.

3) Do you REALY want to be in a group with a drummer who doesn't want to at least MEET the bass player and exchange pleasantries even if he didn't want to practice for what ever reason and explain to you FACE to FACE why?

But forget all of that, I MUST KNOW WHY YOU CALL YOURSELF PIANO FIGHTER!!! THAT IS THE COOLEST SCREEN NAME EVER, LOL!!!
 
#37
I was stunned too that there was a drummer who didn't want to play with a bassist, especially less than ten days before the gig. Oh well, I'm glad I don't have to stress about it now. Thank goodness they had a half-stack I could use so I didn't have to lug the heavy junk around.


Also, it's a song by Warren Zevon, check it out:


It became relevant to my life because my recent ex is a classical pianist, haha.
 

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