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Should I be offended?

P

piano fighter

Apr 17, 2010
26
0
MD
#1
Hi TB,

I got a call to help a friend's band who needed a bass player for a show on the 20th, and agreed to go to a practice before I made my decision.


Tonight I go to friend's house for practice, he's the guitar player, and he and the singer are there showing me a few of the songs and keys and all that, and they told me we'd probably go to the drummer's later to get the whole group together. I had a really good time and was looking forward to seeing it as a whole.

Anyway, we get all our stuff together to go to the drummer's house, I'm waiting for them in my car, when the guitar player comes out and says that the drummer just called, and for whatever reason wants to go over ONLY his drum stuff, because they haven't been playing together long. The drummer knew I was there. So they ask if I don't mind coming out tomorrow night or Friday night while they work with just the drummer tonight.

Fine, BUT this is why I'm upset, and I wonder if I'm justified in being upset. I drove half an hour out there to play for one hour, only to be asked to leave and drive the half hour home because they drummer doesn't want to practice with me. I'm not mad at the guitar player or the singer, and have yet to meet the drummer, but I find it rude that they asked me to do this as a favor and then this is what happens. I'll go out one more time, but still, I ask you, is it fair of me to be upset in this situation?
 
#6
Sorry, didn't read your post.

To me, asking if you should be offended is like saying "My accountant found a way to put $15,000 in my pocket before taxes. Should I be happy?"

Are you offended? Yes? No?
Then be that...
 
#7
Well I didn't know if it would be rude of me to say something about it, and it's been a while since I've been playing with a band, and I'm just doing it as a favor, I'm not really sure what reaction is appropriate in this situation.
 
#8
piano fighter said:
Fine, BUT this is why I'm upset, and I wonder if I'm justified in being upset. I drove half an hour out there to play for one hour, only to be asked to leave and drive the half hour home because they drummer doesn't want to practice with me. I'm not mad at the guitar player or the singer, and have yet to meet the drummer, but I find it rude that they asked me to do this as a favor and then this is what happens. I'll go out one more time, but still, I ask you, is it fair of me to be upset in this situation?
Click to expand...

Whether you're offended or not is your choice. But it seems to me that these guys don't communicate very well - otherwise the guitarist & singer would not have scheduled a session with you when they did.

And that when it comes down to it, they'd prefer to inconvenience you than to "inconvenience" the drummer. That and/or the drummer is a doofus for being insensitive enough to insist that you go home - and the guitarist & singer for that matter, for agreeing to send you home under the circumstances.

Do the rehearsal and do the gig if you still think it's worthwhile. But as you've already noticed, this is a big red flag... :eyebrow:

MM
 
#14
They asked you to do a practice. You showed up and pre-practiced, and made yourself available at the agreed on time. They then reneged on the practice. You did your part. Tell them the next time you're available is the gig. Oh, and at the gig: you want to be paid your cut...up front.

IMO, they sound like a bunch of flakes...
 
#18
Are you playing with adults? If this were me, I would not be interested in playing with these musicians again. The others are as guilty as the drummer. I can overlook this as a personal insult, but if they don't value and respect my time, I don't have any for them.
 
#20
piano fighter said:
Hi TB,

I got a call to help a friend's band who needed a bass player for a show on the 20th....
Click to expand...

... and then they had you load up all your gear, drive for a half hour down to their place to practice and essentially told you "nevermind, just go home". Some friend you got there. :rollno:

Yes I would be a little pissed off.

This is something they should have figured out as a band PRIOR to involving anyone as a sub, especially if this is a "as a favor to a friend" gig. They should have planned out a schedule and supplied you with whatever tools you may need to learn the material whether its charts, MP3's, or whatever.

Talk to your friend on the side and let him/her know how you feel about how they treated you, not in a screaming kind of way, just a talk. This may be a prime opportunity for them to learn a valuable lesson in contucting their bands business affairs professionally.

Play the gig or don't, the ball is in your court.
 

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