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Should I stay or should I go now?

P

podiumboy

Aug 28, 2011
330
148
44
Dayton-Columbus, OH
#1
Have recently gotten back together with my old band after 4 years, yada yada yada. Things aren't really taking off the way I'd like, old habits are resurfacing, etc. I'm not sure I'm ready to throw in the towel or anything. I am the band leader of this project, kind of by default. Our old singer was the BL but he's not around anymore. We're trying to make this band a democracy, everybody gets a say. But a couple band members don't realize that we're actually trying to work up a setlist that can please a crowd, and suggest we play songs that are either slow/uninteresting, or too obscure for the general public (Beatles deep cuts, for example). I'm really trying to make it fun and democratic for everyone, but it's kind of a disaster.

THE POINT of this thread is that I actually got an audition for another band. I haven't responded to say I'm for sure interested. I've pretty much never played with any other band in my life. But this is an already established band, and they sent me their song list, and it's pretty much right up my alley. I would basically be "the new guy", and not the BL, which is fine, but would be a huge adjustment. Also I'm 31 and the guys in this other band are 45-51. That doesn't really bother me, I could probably learn a lot from those seasoned veterans. But it's scary to think about being the young guy, the new guy, the amateur, etc. Don't get me wrong, I think my musical abilities are up to the task (a large number of their songs were in our list anyway).

So basically, walk away from what's safe and familiar, but could possibly never get off the ground... or take a risk and play with a bunch of strangers who are already an established band and be thrown completely out of my comfort zone. Any ideas?
 
#2
podiumboy said:
...but would be a huge adjustment. Also I'm 31 and the guys in this other band are 45-51. That doesn't really bother me, I could probably learn a lot from those seasoned veterans. But it's scary to think about being the young guy, the new guy, the amateur, etc...
...So basically, walk away from what's safe and familiar, but could possibly never get off the ground... or take a risk and play with a bunch of strangers who are already an established band and be thrown completely out of my comfort zone. Any ideas?
Click to expand...

Yes. Get out of your "comfort zone". It's likely your opportunity to get to the next level quicker.
 
#7
First off, a democracy in a band situation is only as good as the motivation level of the least interested member, and if there are multiple goals rather than a goal, well; I think you are currently living the idea.

OTOH, you have an opportunity to considerably lighten your musical load by becoming a cog in the wheel where your obligation is confined to showing up on time and doing an acceptable job on bass. Outside of that and a little help with schlepping gear, you can enjoy life rather than worry about a band member's poor taste in music as it applies to the common goal of the band, dealing with apathetic players, booking, and all the other tasks required of a good BL.

In addition to the obvious advantages of being just the bass guy in an already established group, you also have a chance to learn from people who've BTDT so if somewhere down the line you decide your vision can no longer wait you will have more practical experience to draw on in your role as BL while you shepherd your dream to fruition.

Keep in mind being just the bass guy requires a malleable ego. If you cannot be satisfied anywhere but in the drivers seat, then stick with your original project and dump the idea of a democratic band and get on with the business of herding cats.
 
#9
Humbled said:
Yes. Get out of your "comfort zone". It's likely your opportunity to get to the next level quicker.
Click to expand...

I think that this is very good advice. It is what I would do.
I always ask myself the question, "Will this move me forward toward my goal?" If the answer is yes, it's time to go.

Also, as others have stated, you are only at the audition stage. They might not even make you an offer.
 
#11
Go for the audition. See if you like playing with the new band. Then if the new band works out, see if the members of the old band step up. They might just want to get together and play tunes and never get out of the garage. They might never notice that you have another band.
 
#12
Do the audition then see what happens. If nothing else it gives you the experience. Plus if the old band works out then great if not then you tried and move on.
Also another thought is seeing you have a new singer (?), you may find that a couple of your old bandmates might want to start something new and more serious with you. Just other options to think of.
 
#15
I've heard it somewhere that 3 things make for a good band situation. 1) Money, 2) Material, and 3) hang (how well band members get along). If you get 2 out of 3 then that's good, you put up with the 3rd. It's rare to get 3 out of 3 but it happens. So decide which 2 are most important and make your decisions from there. Good luck.
 

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