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Should I stay or should I go now?

#24
Hi,

ChrisB2 said:
Slip out the back, Jack.
Click to expand...

Make a new plan, Stan.

I am continually impressed by the wisdom of Mr. fhm555. :)

My new plan would be to take the new gig if offered. You can still work with your old project as time allows. Maybe they'll start putting in a little more effort. When you're ready, you'll have another band that can take the gigs the new band turns down. Or at least with two bands you might be able to fill your calendar a little better.

Thank you for your indulgence,

BassCliff
 
#25
I tend to agree with what cliff said. I was in the same situation myself not too long ago. I did some stuff right and I made a mistake or two. Here's how it went. I was in a startup band. Really liked the guys and there was some real potential there but progress was kinda slow. A chance to jump into a working band came up that was too good to turn down , so I jumped on it. It looked like the new band was going to keep me too busy to be in two bands so I informed the old band that i would be leaving. I offered to stay around till they found a replacement for me and they agreed to that . My mistake was that i should have kept my mouth shut until I was sure the new band would keep me busy. Not too long after I joined the new band , the lead singer (and band leader) started having some health issues and they backed off of their schedule.(not anywhere near a complete shutdown , but not nearly as busy as I thought they would be.) This would have left me enough time to be in both bands without overextending my self in either one. The first band found a replacement and I bowed out. The new band is doing pretty well and I have played some fantastic gigs with them so I don't really have any major complaints but I could have stayed in both bands and been OK too. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Hope it gives you a bit of insight. Good luck however you play it.
 
#29
podiumboy said:
Have recently gotten back together with my old band after 4 years, yada yada yada. Things aren't really taking off the way I'd like, old habits are resurfacing, etc. I'm not sure I'm ready to throw in the towel or anything.
Click to expand...

Take the towel, put it under your bathroom faucet to get it nice and wet, then wad it up into the shape of a ball as tight as you can, then, go outside, take a deep breath, and propel that towel into the air as hard as you possibly can as if you were a javelin thrower in the Olympics. Then go hook up with that other band and move up.
 
#31
The add I looked at was for the greater Dayton area, and I assumed that it'd only be 30-45 minute tops drive for me. The band is based out of a town that's over an hour drive for me, and I just now figured that out. So I emailed the guy back and told him I wouldn't be able to swing something that far away once a week.

I'm pretty bummed, would've liked the opportunity to try something new, and these guys were for real. I'm sick of having to be the guy with the cattle prod in his hand, trying to keep everyone interested and excited. It'd be nice to join a group of people who take it more seriously. The other band had a guaranteed (good) gig every month, plus they played elsewhere here and there. I'm hoping with my band that I'll be able to get a gig together by summer.
 
#33
fhm555 said:
First off, a democracy in a band situation is only as good as the motivation level of the least interested member, and if there are multiple goals rather than a goal, well; I think you are currently living the idea.

OTOH, you have an opportunity to considerably lighten your musical load by becoming a cog in the wheel where your obligation is confined to showing up on time and doing an acceptable job on bass. Outside of that and a little help with schlepping gear, you can enjoy life rather than worry about a band member's poor taste in music as it applies to the common goal of the band, dealing with apathetic players, booking, and all the other tasks required of a good BL.

In addition to the obvious advantages of being just the bass guy in an already established group, you also have a chance to learn from people who've BTDT so if somewhere down the line you decide your vision can no longer wait you will have more practical experience to draw on in your role as BL while you shepherd your dream to fruition.

Keep in mind being just the bass guy requires a malleable ego. If you cannot be satisfied anywhere but in the drivers seat, then stick with your original project and dump the idea of a democratic band and get on with the business of herding cats.
Click to expand...

Every single word of this makes total sense to me. Good observations/advice.
 
#34
I live about 30 minutes from the edge of my metro so my first question for a band is always "where do you rehearse/gig?" Just seeing "greater metro" as their location in the ad is not enough information. My drive can range from around 30 minutes to over an hour (which is a deal breaker), so nothing else matters until I know that.
 
#37
No need to be coy, Roy.
Just listen to me.

You haven't played in other bands beyond the one you're in now?

You need experience. Go get some with older more seasoned vets. Learn how they run rehearsals, the gigs they book, the setup and soundcheck, learn everything about what they do.

An hour is too far for rehearsal?

Suck it up buttercup. You're on a mission. You'll get used to it. Good time to listen to your band tracks there and back. Call it study hour.

Sleep on it tonight. In the morning you'll begin to see the light.
 
#39
podiumboy said:
Have recently gotten back together with my old band after 4 years, yada yada yada. Things aren't really taking off the way I'd like, old habits are resurfacing, etc. I'm not sure I'm ready to throw in the towel or anything. I am the band leader of this project, kind of by default. Our old singer was the BL but he's not around anymore. We're trying to make this band a democracy, everybody gets a say. But a couple band members don't realize that we're actually trying to work up a setlist that can please a crowd, and suggest we play songs that are either slow/uninteresting, or too obscure for the general public (Beatles deep cuts, for example). I'm really trying to make it fun and democratic for everyone, but it's kind of a disaster.

THE POINT of this thread is that I actually got an audition for another band. I haven't responded to say I'm for sure interested. I've pretty much never played with any other band in my life. But this is an already established band, and they sent me their song list, and it's pretty much right up my alley. I would basically be "the new guy", and not the BL, which is fine, but would be a huge adjustment. Also I'm 31 and the guys in this other band are 45-51. That doesn't really bother me, I could probably learn a lot from those seasoned veterans. But it's scary to think about being the young guy, the new guy, the amateur, etc. Don't get me wrong, I think my musical abilities are up to the task (a large number of their songs were in our list anyway).

So basically, walk away from what's safe and familiar, but could possibly never get off the ground... or take a risk and play with a bunch of strangers who are already an established band and be thrown completely out of my comfort zone. Any ideas?
Click to expand...

I suggest you step and make yourself the official BL.

Set out your goals to the other members and go from there. If the other guys don't pull their weight or continue to complain, tell them either they can hop off the bus Gus or stay on the train Wayne.

Make the situation into what you want it to be. Find replacements if necessary. Life's too short for anything less.

Be happy, don't worry.

Good luck!
 

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