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Small hands, intonation issues, please help?

+1 to the Simandl classical method being applicable. Absolutely.

There are PHENOMENAL principle bassists in the world orchestras playing 42" - 44" scale instruments with tiny hands. Technique, technique, technique. (practice, practice, practice)

We definitely have some challenges, but there are solutions to many. Small hands should be a non-issue. I have them, and they are not one of the problems I need to work on.
 
Hmm, I'll try wearing my bass a little higher and see if that might help. I've experimented with that kind of positioning a little bit, but I haven't really tried wearing it like a classical guitarist or a Beatle might.

Definitely thanks for the admonition about paying attention to pain! I'm pretty aware of that, thanks to having learned the hard way when I was going to music school with my cello and ignoring tendon pain because I had to practise more. It's really good to be reminded though - it's so easy to tell myself to just work through the pain >.<

as far as wearing it higher goes, i can really only attest to my personal experience. my wrist is completely straight with my fore arm. i have that hooked thumb thing, which i think really helps to brace behind the neck, but i do wonder if you can get away with doing that with a "normal" thumb. i should hope so, but i cannot test it out at all. if im understanding you correctly, though, its not necessarily a wrist pain thing, but i do believe if your wrist is straight, you will have more room for your tendons to move around, as they are only being stretched by your elbow a bit, and then your fingers. i truly believe you are better off having your wrist completely straight. anatomically it just makes sense.
 
I have small hands too and I think that with a little practice you will be ok. I saw many players with big hands that have very weird position ( think Stanley Clark ) and they can't play with more than 4 strings.