"So I quit my band the final chapter" prologue

[DJS]

So I quit my band. The final chapter.

This is a continuation of my previous thread. Thought it might merit its own post. More fun that way!

I made my announcement a few weeks ago. It was tough. These are good people. Or cats. I can call them cats. Band leader sent me a nice card saying I would always be his bass player. Hugs were received all around. "You better stay with us until the day you move!" I of course agreed to meet my commitments and am not moving for several months at least. It's recording an EP of originals. The songs are written, I own my parts, we've been playing them live for a while and they're pretty dialed in. No problem!

Last week we had a practice to work out the final kinks before heading into the studio. BL also invites a new bass player (NBP) to audition. He seems like a good guy. Definitely a working pro type so cue my insecurities. Halfway through practice BL invites him to record. No discussion with the band or anything.

Figuring he got lost in the moment, I message the entire band and say "Hey - noticed you invited NBP to record. Did you still want me to record? Should you all discuss? He's good. I like him. Do what's best for the band..."
BL comes back "What a hard thing to read and respond to. I needed to lock him in so it is what it is. Of course I want you to record. What do YOU want to do? I have to respect where your head is on this..." I respond "I've been working hard on these with plans to record, so I'm sticking with that plan." Drummer chimes in "Yeah DJS, you did all the work on these, you of course deserve to be on the record!"

Later we agree that NBP can take a shot at recording a newer, unfinished song that BL wants to rush onto the EP now, in the event that we finish all planned songs early. He does this a lot. Eternal optimist. I don't love that song anyway.

Last night we show up for recording. NBP is there helping out. I like him - none of this is his fault, but it feels weird. I played 2 songs, he played 2, just to test levels, and it was clear he had mastered these songs. Someone clearly encouraged him to learn all of them. And he sounded amazing. Cue my insecurities again, but his versions kicked ass. BL says at some point in the night "We need to get both DJS and NBP versions as much as we can..."

So here I am, facing 5 hours in the studio tonight, and maybe another 8 Saturday, after a long stretch of extra practice hours preparing for a few weeks, wondering what's going to happen with my work. My standard reaction to uncomfortable situations is to put on a happy face, avoid conflict and deal with them like an adult. Not sure if there are any other options for me here?

 

[flannel cat]

well i hope this works out the right way for you, and its a positive ending..
put in all your heart and soul for this ride and see how it ends.
I would want to be that EP to be my riffs mostly, if i did put in the time..
The new guy will have lots of chances for his contributions after this session, and the band leader should honor that..
Its about respect and principal...IMHO..

 

[sean_on_bass]

So I quit my band. The final chapter.

This is a continuation of my previous thread. Thought it might merit its own post. More fun that way!

I made my announcement a few weeks ago. It was tough. These are good people. Or cats. I can call them cats. Band leader sent me a nice card saying I would always be his bass player. Hugs were received all around. "You better stay with us until the day you move!" I of course agreed to meet my commitments and am not moving for several months at least. It's recording an EP of originals. The songs are written, I own my parts, we've been playing them live for a while and they're pretty dialed in. No problem!

Last week we had a practice to work out the final kinks before heading into the studio. BL also invites a new bass player (NBP) to audition. He seems like a good guy. Definitely a working pro type so cue my insecurities. Halfway through practice BL invites him to record. No discussion with the band or anything.

Figuring he got lost in the moment, I message the entire band and say "Hey - noticed you invited NBP to record. Did you still want me to record? Should you all discuss? He's good. I like him. Do what's best for the band..."
BL comes back "What a hard thing to read and respond to. I needed to lock him in so it is what it is. Of course I want you to record. What do YOU want to do? I have to respect where your head is on this..." I respond "I've been working hard on these with plans to record, so I'm sticking with that plan." Drummer chimes in "Yeah DJS, you did all the work on these, you of course deserve to be on the record!"

Later we agree that NBP can take a shot at recording a newer, unfinished song that BL wants to rush onto the EP now, in the event that we finish all planned songs early. He does this a lot. Eternal optimist. I don't love that song anyway.

Last night we show up for recording. NBP is there helping out. I like him - none of this is his fault, but it feels weird. I played 2 songs, he played 2, just to test levels, and it was clear he had mastered these songs. Someone clearly encouraged him to learn all of them. And he sounded amazing. Cue my insecurities again, but his versions kicked ass. BL says at some point in the night "We need to get both DJS and NBP versions as much as we can..."

So here I am, facing 5 hours in the studio tonight, and maybe another 8 Saturday, after a long stretch of extra practice hours preparing for a few weeks, wondering what's going to happen with my work. My standard reaction to uncomfortable situations is to put on a happy face, avoid conflict and deal with them like an adult. Not sure if there are any other options for me here?

Personally, you might wanna think about just clearing the way for this new bassist. The BL obviously wants him to record, and you have put in your resignation. Your involvement with the band will end on the horizon. If i were in your shoes, i'd not show up for any additional studio sessions, but that's me.

I left a band a few years ago that i helped found. I committed to stay on for scheduled things until they found a new guy. They ended up finding someone and i immediately stepped aside to let the new guy gel with the band and take over the role.

 

[turf3]

Remember, gigs come from word of mouth. Be a jerk, and you'd better be Jaco. Grit teeth, get through what you've committed to.

Many's the time someone I wasn't thrilled with, but remained courteous to, has thrown work my way.

 

[buldog5151bass]

I would have another talk with BL. Explain that you see the new bassist is ready to record all the tunes. If you are definitely going to be on the recordings, you should be in the studio, but if not, its a waste of your time (and theirs).

Frankly, if he is the one staying in the band, he should have first crack at all the tunes

 

[mrcbass]

Wow, that sounds a little rougher than it has to be. Granted everyone seems to looking out for everyone else - almost to a fault - but they are putting you in a very uncomfortable position. Since you're fine with the new guy doing the recording, perhaps you can ID the songs you should each record. Seems very inconsiderate of your time for both of you to record the same tracks.

Sure, great for the band to have choices, but if the newb is ready, let him have all he can manage. At this point, you recording is going to be more for your vanity than it is for the benefit of the band - I'd want my current line up to be represented on any new recordings I did.

 

[DJS]

Personally, you might wanna think about just clearing the way for this new bassist. The BL obviously wants him to record, and you have put in your resignation. Your involvement with the band will end on the horizon. If i were in your shoes, i'd not show up for any additional studio sessions, but that's me.

I left a band a few years ago that i helped found. I committed to stay on for scheduled things until they found a new guy. They ended up finding someone and i immediately stepped aside to let the new guy gel with the band and take over the role.

That always was my plan but I had the idea he'd come on board after the recording session.

Wow, that sounds a little rougher than it has to be. Granted everyone seems to looking out for everyone else - almost to a fault - but they are putting you in a very uncomfortable position. Since you're fine with the new guy doing the recording, perhaps you can ID the songs you should each record. Seems very inconsiderate of your time for both of you to record the same tracks.

Sure, great for the band to have choices, but if the newb is ready, let him have all he can manage. At this point, you recording is going to be more for your vanity than it is for the benefit of the band - I'd want my current line up to be represented on any new recordings I did.

Funny thing is - I don't even like recording much. It's kind of a headache and really a vanity project for BL. Not sure it's worthwhile in the bigger picture either for most bands. I just don't want to be the jerk who skipped out on his commitments as these are good people.

 

[SoCal80s]

Even if you record it there's nothing stopping them from recording a new bass part later, so you're sweating it for nothing. And since the new guy is going to be the one playing these live, it makes sense to use his parts where possible. I would record both bassists if they're ready, and go with the version that suits the song the best. The only thing you're out is the time you invested in learning the songs, and that can be cured by you laying down your track and let the track speak for itself. Maybe it changes you share of the finances but let that go with whatever your agreement was - you did agree ahead of time on how the finances will work, right?

 

[gln1955]

The BL put you and the new bass player in an awkward position. He clearly wants the new gut to be on the recordings but doesn't want to shut you out either. If I were you, I'd gracefully bow out at this point. I hope you don't have money sunk into the studio time.

 

[Wood and Wire]

Both bassist record, both versions get mixed and mastered - band provides you with copies of the versions featuring you, as a parting gift / keepsake.

Band releases the version with the new bassist / band line-up for public consumption.

 

[sean_on_bass]

That always was my plan but I had the idea he'd come on board after the recording session.

When a member is on the way out, they gotta jump on a good player ASAP. If they wait till your officially "done" they may not have anyone else available. This is not really your project, it's the band leaders. I think you are getting an emotional attachment to recording but you need to ignore that and let the BL continue on without you if he has another guy that is as good as you say. You might be clogging things up right now.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

You're leaving on good terms and are still friends. I would expect the new guy to be on the recording even though that stings a little. But remember that you are the one leaving, they're not kicking you out. Don't be surprised if they keep on keeping on with another bassist.

 

[N. Kentucky Bass]

While you may "own" the music you created, you don't own the band. You also set this in motion with a resignation. As much as you see yourself with both feet still in the project, the bandleader sees one foot out and the other in the air, close to follow. He may value your friendship and appreciate what you put into the project, but he's more focused on what he owns, which is the band. Sounds like NBP has this under control so I'd just bow out now and let it go. You're clearly becoming a memory before you're even gone. Sucks but that's how organizations work. Look to the future and figure out what you're going to do. Let the past go.

 

[Headless horse]

I would left the band, i think those 2 B recording versions would be too much not right for me.

 

[groovaholic]

This has similarities to a situation I was in...
I'd been with the band since its inception, and we had a fair amount of momentum.

We had DIY recorded a CD.

I'd engineered it, I was finalizing the mix/mastering, and the CD release party was already booked.

In November I got offered a job out of state, with a start date in mid-December.
But the CD release was scheduled for January.

I told the guys that I wanted the band to start auditioning replacements, so they would be ready to go as soon as I was out - but that since I'd been so involved with the CD, I wanted the release party to be my farewell gig.

They agreed and that's exactly how it played out - no drama, and no hard feelings.
It was bittersweet to hear the new guy playing "my" parts when they did radio spots, but I was proud of what we did.

Not sure OP has this option since the bandleader seems to want to move on already, but my recommendation would be to clearly state your preferences up front and bow out before they want you gone.

 

[LBS-bass]

So I quit my band. The final chapter.

This is a continuation of my previous thread. Thought it might merit its own post. More fun that way!

I made my announcement a few weeks ago. It was tough. These are good people. Or cats. I can call them cats. Band leader sent me a nice card saying I would always be his bass player. Hugs were received all around. "You better stay with us until the day you move!" I of course agreed to meet my commitments and am not moving for several months at least. It's recording an EP of originals. The songs are written, I own my parts, we've been playing them live for a while and they're pretty dialed in. No problem!

Last week we had a practice to work out the final kinks before heading into the studio. BL also invites a new bass player (NBP) to audition. He seems like a good guy. Definitely a working pro type so cue my insecurities. Halfway through practice BL invites him to record. No discussion with the band or anything.

Figuring he got lost in the moment, I message the entire band and say "Hey - noticed you invited NBP to record. Did you still want me to record? Should you all discuss? He's good. I like him. Do what's best for the band..."
BL comes back "What a hard thing to read and respond to. I needed to lock him in so it is what it is. Of course I want you to record. What do YOU want to do? I have to respect where your head is on this..." I respond "I've been working hard on these with plans to record, so I'm sticking with that plan." Drummer chimes in "Yeah DJS, you did all the work on these, you of course deserve to be on the record!"

Later we agree that NBP can take a shot at recording a newer, unfinished song that BL wants to rush onto the EP now, in the event that we finish all planned songs early. He does this a lot. Eternal optimist. I don't love that song anyway.

Last night we show up for recording. NBP is there helping out. I like him - none of this is his fault, but it feels weird. I played 2 songs, he played 2, just to test levels, and it was clear he had mastered these songs. Someone clearly encouraged him to learn all of them. And he sounded amazing. Cue my insecurities again, but his versions kicked ass. BL says at some point in the night "We need to get both DJS and NBP versions as much as we can..."

So here I am, facing 5 hours in the studio tonight, and maybe another 8 Saturday, after a long stretch of extra practice hours preparing for a few weeks, wondering what's going to happen with my work. My standard reaction to uncomfortable situations is to put on a happy face, avoid conflict and deal with them like an adult. Not sure if there are any other options for me here?

Tough situation to be in.

My gut would have me fleeing the situation because that's a lot of work and wasted time in the studio to cut tracks that may well not be used.

But you put a lot of work into developing those lines. How will you feel about it if none of your tracks get used? How about if only one is used so that they can at least get you in the album credits?

I were in your shoes, I'd probably hand it over so they don't waste any more of my time. But you need to do what works for you.

 

[Bringindafunk]

Not an awesome situation, but I would definitely either ask for a copy of the raw tracks so I could do my own mix with my bass tracks for my own personal posterity, or I'd ask for a 2nd mix with my tracks along with a final mix with whatever tracks were used. I would want those memories just for me regardless of what the band decides to do with the final recordings.

 

[staccatogrowl]

I quit. . Band leader sent me a nice card saying I would always be his bass player. Hugs were received all around. "You better stay with us until the day you move!" I of course agreed to meet my commitments and am not moving for several months at least. It's recording an EP of originals.

A card in your hand. A knife in your back. I'd walk away now. The final assassination move will be them using none of the parts you crafted, and worked so diligently to provide. Stay alive without that hassle. On 2nd thought, don't walk away. Run! Run!

 

[LBS-bass]

Not an awesome situation, but I would definitely either ask for a copy of the raw tracks so I could do my own mix with my bass tracks for my own personal posterity, or I'd ask for a 2nd mix with my tracks along with a final mix with whatever tracks were used.

Who's going to pay for the vanity mix so that the guy can have a keepsake?

 

[FullumMusic]

Seems like everyone is trying to be really nice to everyone else and trying not to create hard feelings, which is inadvertently causing some weird situations and probably will cause some hurt feelings (even if mild or understandable ones.)

There's probably a few possible options not limited to the following possibilities:
1- You talk to the BL and say, look, i know you wanted me to stay until i left, and i know you wanted me to record. I also want to record and be on the album. But, you've got this dude and he's killing it, and as much as i'd love to record with you, it's kinda silly to waste time and money recording two bassists for all these songs. I love you all, but he's your guy, and he's your future, and i don't love the recording process, and it makes the most sense for him to record. I'm sad i won't be recording for the album but so it goes, I'll easily get over it, and i'm thrilled you found such a good bassist.

2- Pretty much the same as #1, except you say "let dude record all the other songs, but i really want to be the bassist to record on..." And then pick one or a few songs that would really make you happy if you played on. Maybe give some wiggle room which ones or how many.

3- Talk to the BL and ask what their goal is recording both of you for all the songs, and before they answer, let them know the context of why you're asking so they don't feel like they have to tip-toe around answers or protect your feelings and lie/omit/truth-stretch. See if they're doing it because they promised to record you but they might still use all of other dude's takes? Is it because they promised both of you recording? Is it because they want to have options on which versions make the final mixes? Is it because they want to comp the best parts of both players' takes into one franken-bassline? Is it something else? Or did they not even put too much thought into why they'll record both of you? And then from there, everyone involved could have a clearer picture and easier time figuring out who records what and why.

Might be a slightly uncomfortable conversation up-front, but less surprises and hurt feelings later on. $0.02 {shrug}