solo bass pieces - need feedback!

[Mirror Messiah]

"Waterside"

and

"Black Ice"

Hi, i've been playing the bass for about 15 months now, and this month i composed and recorded two solo bass pieces, as listed above. I would appreciate it if you would take a listen and give me some feedback and/or comments about them. Thanks in advance!

David

ps: don't be afraid to be a little harsh (but not too ) on me, i need the criticism.

 

[Mirror Messiah]

bump. i really need some feedback, please help a fellow bassist out

 

[El Bobo]

Here is some feedback, I don't think all that many people reply in this particular forum unless its about Rocco Prestia or someone famous.

First track:

I like the first repeated riff its nice and melodic. I think in the middle It kinda wanders off to less sure territories. Maybe a little more melodic structure would help? Maybe some lower notes for a little variation. I Like the riff when it comes in at about 1 minute. Also like the chordal stuff towards the end. I guess maybe some more dynamics ( even though this seems like it should stay a bit on the quite side because of the style)

Second track:

Like the mood. Again maybe some more dynamics would help. You are choosing some nice chords. Don't be afraid to bring back themes you have played before, people like hearing a cool riff come back.

Overall:

Good work. You obviously are going for a melodic vibe on the bass which I can certainly understand. I like the moods you are setting, and you are doing some nice chords, especially for just starting out a little over a year ago. I would say keep doing that and maybe add some energy and or dynamics to the music to make the moody stuff come out even more.


Cheers


Chris

P.S. I also recently put up some stuff. Let me know what you think. http://www.talkbass.com/forum/showthread.php?t=574174