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Still not bright enough...

I bought this SX Jazz bass as a beater, right? But it's just not bright enough to gig with. So I swapped in an Audere preamp, and it helped but it's still not bright enough. So I added a BadAss II bridge which certainly improved the sustain. But it's still not bright enough, so I swapped the neck for an ebony fingerboard which helped. But not enough, so I swapped that out for a Status graphite neck, which brightened it up a bit. But it's still not bright enough, so I swapped in some Delano pickups and strung up a set of DR Highbeams and added a brass nut. The bass was so much brighter!

...but it's still not bright enough, so I switched my amp for a bi-amped rig that had a single 18" in one cabinet and 50 dome tweeters in the other one. Man did that have sizzle, but it still didn't sound, y'know, bright enough. No zing, man! So I had a new body cast out of a solid piece of Pirex glass and swapped the Leo Quan bridge for piezo electronic pickups and then installed mirrored panels on every wall of the rehearsal space my band uses. Now I was getting so close to the tone I hear in my head, but it still wasn't *really* bright, so I set the bass on fire and got out my piccolo. After that I woke up screaming and sweaty.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that chicken broth and Jack Daniels isn't a real drink.
 
Glad some of you liked the story. I was researching aftermarket upgrades yesterday and got this story stuck in my head. On a side note, anyone else notice how even super high end gear will get almost universal praise except for one or two guys who *hate* it. Just like the guys who end up dumping $800 into fixing up a $300 bass, it kinda makes you wonder what's going through their heads.