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Terrible Teachers

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Stickk, May 1, 2009.

  1. Stickk


    Sep 2, 2008
    Anyone ever have a terrible teacher? The only ones I've had were orchestra teachers. My middle school teacher once asked me hat a triad was, because she thought I was not paying attention. I replied, "A three-note chord that can be stacked in thirds?" She said wrong, and asked one of the cello players. He said the exact same thing as I did, and she said "Correct." Later that year we had to write a song. She yelled at me for writing my song in 5/8, claiming that "nobody does that." How ignorant. My current teacher is equally as bad. On a song we're playing, I recommended that the basses use drop-d tuning. She said, "That's a stupid idea, it's not in the music!", even though a lower d is written in the music. Yesterday she told the basses to go to drop-d. She said, "Wow, why didn't I think of that before?" I then reminded her that I suggested the idea a week ago. She replied, "That was last week, this is today.":mad: I have way more stories from both these teachers, but I don't feel like typing them now. Anyone else?
  2. Human Bass

    Human Bass

    Aug 26, 2005
    She probably has the hots for you and feels confused about that.
  3. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Next time she pulls that kind of stunt tell her to suck your balls, and then wait and see if she says "Present them". If she does, indeed, respond with "Present them" then she's a good teacher. And hit her up after class (so long as shes decent looking), it'll get you a better grade.
  4. Zombbg4


    Jul 15, 2008
    I guess I had a teacher who was somewhat terrible. For the short while I was with him each lesson was very disorganized and he could never remember where we left off, and when confronted that we had covered something in the previous lesson he'd say " it doesn't hurt to practice it some more", well it does if i'm paying you for it!! He was also one of the guys who would solo/noodle around a lot while looking at me, both creepy and a wast of time and money. And what finally caused me to can him is how shady he was with lesson. I showed up to his house once and he wasn't there, said he was stung by a bee in the eye...yea ok, saw him two days later and his eyes looked fine.
  5. wnelson


    Aug 15, 2007
    wow:eyebrow:...thats pretty bad....i would challenge them on every slip if i were you....if thier wrong ,point it out!!:D

    the first guy that every gave me lessons (13yrs ago) ..well firstly,he was bragging about how he just learned the star spangled banner....i remember thinking ''jesus,really?''

    he had a 4 string jazz

    i had a 5 string soundgear

    Him- ''so,you know what the difference is between our basses?''

    me- ''uh?...I have a B-string?''

    Him ''yep! your right!!'' :scowl:

    thats pretty much how that entire hour went...i didnt learn anything .....i mean nothing:rollno:....after hearing him play the star spangled banner (very roughly) .....i ask if he knew how to play ''slap''

    he said ''yea''.....he thumped a G once or twice (two notes literally)..he looked very unsure..and then proceeded to talk about other bass players who played slap....and shortly after the lesson was over.

    i later found out that the guy was the music store owner's son
    ....and apparently,he was a begginer too.(and thier instructor:eek:)......epic fail.
  6. Punisher Bass

    Punisher Bass

    Dec 24, 2008
    St Louis MO
    Well many years ago I knocked out my first bass teacher. Does that count?
  7. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
  8. I don't understand the pictures above, but I think they're great.
  9. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    His teacher looked like Busta Rhymes, who in turn, looks like that dog, dawg.
  10. mrbass02


    Nov 15, 2008
    Details? :D
  11. Punisher Bass

    Punisher Bass

    Dec 24, 2008
    St Louis MO
    I won't go into the details, but it was a combination of him being a world class D-bag and trying to get into my sister's pants through various means despite being married. One day he made the wrong decision and I wound up clocking him right there in the store.
  12. I spot the startings of an awesome thread :D
  13. aquamentus

    aquamentus Supporting Member

    Apr 15, 2005
    Keokuk, IA
    Well, when I first started guitar I took lessons at the only music store in town. The owner of the store gave lessons and was one of the few people around that was reliable. At the age of 16 I wanted to learn how to rock and he was teaching me "Michael row the boat ashore". Almost made me quit playing all together cause I was so bored with it. Thank God I met some guys my age that played and just picked stuff up from them.
  14. The first teacher I had wasn't too great. I remember one week I asked him, "Could you teach me some theory?" He replied, "Sure, I have a huge theory book at home I'll bring in, it's really well written an easy to understand." So the next week I come in all excited, and instead of having this theory book he has tabs for Led Zep song. Thank the gods that the teacher I have now went Berklee.
  15. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    Went to my first lesson (on guitar, age 12) and the guy says "What do you want to learn?"
  16. Dogbertday

    Dogbertday Commercial User

    Jul 10, 2007
    SE Wisconsin
    Blaine Music LLC
    See I've started lessons like that but only to get an idea of where the student wants to go... If I was to ask a 12 year old I'd be finding out if he like's his dad's music or the Jonas Brothers

    I had a teacher who would teach me songs... not even lead me in learning them... I would bring a CD... then he'd learn it on headphones so I coulnd't hear it... then teach it to me... that didn't last long
  17. Stickk


    Sep 2, 2008
  18. Disappear


    May 9, 2008
    I've only gone for one lesson (so far). I've been involved with music for half my life and I've self taught my bass for a couple years and yadda yadda yadda.

    T: So have you studied any music at all?
    Me: Yeah, been playing clarinet and sang bass in choir and all that stuff for a while.
    T: Oh good.
    *Brings out the beginner beginner book*
    T: This is a staff and this is a bass clef and these are whole notes. They're held for four...
    Me: *thinking* Seriously?

    Though I told him SEVERAL times that I know about theory, he went on...

    "These are ledger lines and they're just like the notes on the staff but lower. They can also be written up here and that means they're higher."

    I wasted $20 and an hour of my life on that 'lesson'. Not to mention he wanted to chat with me for half the lesson though I kept playing the 'exercises'.
  19. low-endz


    Dec 18, 2007
    Miami, FL.
    A couple years back I went to a small music school for some one on one lessons to brush up on stuff.

    Well on the 1st day I was on time and waiting patiently in the study room, & I can hear other bassists playing down the hall. It turns out that my teacher was still with the student on the time slot prior to me. Finally by the time I started to pack up, the teacher (whom I never met) marches in & sits in front of me and says "Well go ahead and play something".
    I started some F walking stuff & within seconds He pulls out his cell phone to look @ texts. I stopped playing didnt say a word or even look at him or listen to him, just left.

    Never went back for lesson #2.
  20. Dubadays


    Apr 4, 2009
    I got a clinic from this one guy that looked like he was fresh out of high school and attending EWU, and he was a terrible teacher. Everyone in our high school wind ensemble got a clinic, and I was stuck with this guy. I've been playing for 5 years, (8 years of music history) and he had the nerve to tell me that there are things called octaves, and then he proceeded to show me how to play them.

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