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The corect way to play bass

#61
I didn't realize that there was a gender isssue going on here.....Being a woman musician is hard enough without showing anyone up. Never do it unless you are asked. Then, go ahead and show your stuff. However, women still do have trouble being accepted in what is still a male dominated area. I feel that I have to be twice as good to be equal, in music as in other things. So, if you want to be invited back to play with a group, you should try to fit in. I think it is fine to impress them with how fast you can pick up a bassline, but to showboat, not a good idea. Really, men should follow this same decorum, IMHO, but women usually put our egos aside more easily!

I have had a chance to watch a couple guitar playing friends of mine go from bedroom players to playing in public, from not playing at all to leading a small jam! I think that is fabulous and I am sure that wouldn't have happened if I had taken over and directed our sessions. Once a week, I play with these guys, and although I am not great at guitar or bass, I am better than they are but I don't let on..............................I just play my part and I get enough looks just for picking songs up quickly. I don't need to show off. If you are playing with some other virtuosos, then do what you want, but when you are at some average Joe's gig, do NOT show them up, if you ever want to come back!
 
#62
woodsgirl said:
I didn't realize that there was a gender isssue going on here.....Being a woman musician is hard enough without showing anyone up. Never do it unless you are asked. Then, go ahead and show your stuff. However, women still do have trouble being accepted in what is still a male dominated area. I feel that I have to be twice as good to be equal, in music as in other things. So, if you want to be invited back to play with a group, you should try to fit in. I think it is fine to impress them with how fast you can pick up a bassline, but to showboat, not a good idea. Really, men should follow this same decorum, IMHO, but women usually put our egos aside more easily!
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I think it is more of an etiquette issue than a gender one.

Like you said, male or female, it isn't really cool do be like that. I have seen a lot of a great musicians male and female. There might be a share of sexism, but really if you are good, you are good and you will have a good rep.

The OP kind of brought sexism into by basically saying, "i want to show them how a woman can play" and "he was mad 'cause i am better than him and i am a girl".

I find that a bit pretentious.

People who are really good let their playing stand on its own and aren't out to prove themselves. The bottom line is making people feel what you are playing. Obviously, that wasn't achieved in this situation.
 
#63
I kinda agree there. Wether youre a man or woman doesn't make any difference (to me anyway) in the music world. Your sex has nothing to do with how well you can play your instrument and understand the way music works. Anyone thinking otherwise still has a LONG way to go. Going out to prove you've got talent is fine, but if you're going to think "I'm a woman and I'm going to show them just how great us women are at making music" sorry, but thats just ridiculous to me. For all you know there are women out there with completely different styles and completely different ways to look at music and their own instrument.

The individual makes the musician. Gender has absolutly nothing to do with it, and if you think otherwise, you have issues and need more self esteem. Thinking the guy was mad at her because she outplayed him is one thing, thinking he was mad because he got outplayed by a woman is just plain stupid.
 
#65
It wouldn't be true to say that I never try to impress the people around me with my playing, but I wouldn't do it on someone's else show... At most, I would try the bass out to check how it feels and sounds, but I woudn't play anything complicated. Maybe a couple of licks, a scale run, and that's it. Preferably without audience.
It was a mistake to show off, ethiquette-wise, from your side. It was a mistake to say those things (which are the nicer form of "you suck"), from the side of that guy. While it's completely okay for you to be better than him, a pro should never show off in front of a noob, with an exception of educational purposes.
 
#67
No I'm insinuating that when it happens, its plain stupid. :) Sorry, rereading it now I can see how you can interpret it differently, I will rephrase my sentence:

Although you being a woman and outplaying him could be what happened, I think any respectful musician will not be stupid enough to be pissed off because they're outplayed by a woman, but outplayed period. Realizing a person is better than you at your own instrument and being angry for being "slapped in the face" like that is one thing, but being even more angry because that person is a woman is just plain stupid and ridiculous. Hopes that clears things up.
 
#68
s.m.80808 said:
I think it is more of an etiquette issue than a gender one.
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Agreed. That was my original point as well.

Since the OP has identified her gender, I think I have an analogy. As a woman, would you show up to a friend's wedding in a wedding gown and try to be the center of attention? It's unthinkable. It's perhaps an exaggeration of the situation mentioned, but hopefully it makes a point. No one upstages a bride at her own wedding.

If you couldn't show him "Jaco" in your private sessions, you should have hosted your own party and invited him over to hear you. His gender-induced personality flaws don't give you the right to do what you did, do they?
 
#69
morf said:
No I'm insinuating that when it happens, its plain stupid. :) Sorry, rereading it now I can see how you can interpret it differently, I will rephrase my sentence:

Although you being a woman and outplaying him could be what happened, I think any respectful musician will not be stupid enough to be pissed off because they're outplayed by a woman, but outplayed period. Realizing a person is better than you at your own instrument and being angry for being "slapped in the face" like that is one thing, but being even more angry because that person is a woman is just plain stupid and ridiculous. Hopes that clears things up.
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I'm with you now...just read it out of context, Thanks.
 
#71
I still think the host was being kinda jerky, from a certain angle. Lord knows how many closed-minded people I've run into who absolutely insist on declaring the bass should only hold down the bottom, and nothing else is allowed (otherwise you're "playing guitar.") At least try to have an open enough mind to accept other musical styles and playing methods even if you choose not to play that way or listen to that stuff yourself. There's plenty of room in the world for music and musicians of all types. If it's not your cup of tea, fine. But to completely dismiss playing styles and music genres as "incorrect" and/or irrelevant makes me wonder if some of these people even understand the point of music.

That said (!), intentionally trying to show someone up is just uncool. That little tidbit wasn't made clear in the original post. So maybe the host was a little pissed at that, and that was part of why he said those dismissive things. Who knows, none of us were there to witness this.
 
#74
personally, i think you should just chill. i usually don't post on online forums because i think they are a waste of time (another subject). anyways, playing bass is like anything involving personal taste. people say 'this is good music', or 'this is how art should be'. it is all retlative and you should do whatever you damn well please. however, if one plays bass to 'one up' another person or be 'the best bass player in the world' like some kind of egoist (not implying anything) then that is, uh oh--MY OPINION--of how and why not to play bass. if you are actually a better bass player...kudos. everyone starts somewhere and usually learns to respect artistic differences and abilities. so this person has just not reached that point yet (unfortunately, a lot of people don't). while generally ignorant people can be annoying, I think there is nothing more annoying that bigoted intolerance (which is as michael jackson said on south park: ignorant). in this case it seems reciprocal. so, just chill and let him say what he will (no rhyme intended) I just reread...one more thing-even though it's been said: general bad etiquette.
 
#75
Dirty Dave said:
All I have to say is that if you are going to allow somebody to play your instrument at one of your gigs, then you better be willing to deal with it if that person surprises you with a higher level of talent than expected. I don't care if you were "showboating" or not - what were you supposed to do, play like crap to make him feel better about himself? If this person was a good friend he would have complimented you on your playing style instead of trying to make you feel like you don't know what you are doing.
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+1
 
#76
Bass Viking said:
+1
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Not that it matters at this point.. (everyone else here is more interested in the topic than the original poster.)

I have a question for the guys that thought what the OP did was cool (Dirty Dave and Bass Viking):

If it were a guy (instead of a girl) doing the same thing, would all you guys be so quick to jump on their side?

We know for a fact that he (the party thrower) wasn't playing "jacoesque" type of music as admitted in the post, so the OP was knowingly playing stuff that might not go over in that crowd. That much is known.

If someone came up to you on a gig and asked to play a song that most likely alienated your audience, what would you do? Ok, what if they just played something that sucked, are you still going to compliment them? What if the best you could do was give advice like, "maybe you should focus more on playing root notes cause your wanking is dreadfully boring?"

Based on the facts in the side of the story that was presented, we know two things:

a) the poster definetly had the intention to show up the person who was actually supposed to be playing at the gig.

b) the poster was not invited but asked to play, and played stuff that was not in the same spirit as everything else being played.

Based on those two issues, I think that the OP was way out of line.

On a related side note, do people come and ask to play a song between your sets a lot? We never have that happen, but usually we had people spinning records at our shows between sets.






Maybe I should make a new post regarding this topic.
 
#77
With all the people that agree with what she did...I'm glad you're not my friends.

The guitarist I work with is also an exceptional bassist. He can outplay me without even trying. He would never "one-up" me at a gig even though he could. Why wouldn't he? Well, he is my friend. Not a fake friend, not an aquaintance but a friend that backs me up and I do the same. That is friendship.

BTW, I'm not saying he just blindly approves everything I play. He lets me know when something just doesn't work, or that it just sucks, in his opinion. He does it respectfully and I respect his input. Again, that is friendship.

I think some of you have a warped view on what a friend is and should be. That is sad. :(
 
#78
To the kids who have read this far, here is some useful info:

Don't go to someone else's gig and beg to play.

If you are good and have a good rep they will invite you on stage if they want to hear you play.

In case someone does want to hear you play, remember play to the audience, or you might never get invited again.

If you wanna go and wank, try an open mic or a open blues jam.

If not, just make lots of friends and get them to like you and want to invite you to play at their parties and jam out.:bassist:

:ninja:
 
#79
SM80808, well put. There do seem to be those people who ask to play between sets and they usually won't get off stage and make a general uncomfortable situation out of the band's break. You should let your friends know that you would love to sit in with them whenever, but if they don't invite you, take the hint! Whatever the reason, it is their gig, so just be a fan for the night. I used to sit in with bands all the time, but nowadays it doesn't seem to be the thing, for whatever reason, so just roll with it. Maybe it is because gigs are harder to get and so bands want to play their own jobs, and it could be somewhat unprofessional to let people on stage. Also, liabilites are different now, and some clubs don't like it - if one person does it, then everyone thinks they should be able to do it. Makes kind of a mess of the situation. I know of cases where equipment was damaged and no one owned up to it.
 
#80
Kelly Lee said:
With all the people that agree with what she did...I'm glad you're not my friends.:(
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Kelly Lee said:
I think some of you have a warped view on what a friend is and should be. That is sad. :(
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My goodness. :rolleyes:

Has it ever occurred to you that some of us may have grown up in a different, more competitive musical environment where "showboating" or "letting it fly" wasn't necessarily considered insulting or disrespectful? Is that so hard to fathom? Does it seem possible that some people might be able to handle these situations better than others?

I have been outplayed at parties while growing up as a bassist many times and I dealt with it....with a smile on my face. I'm sure if I handled it any other way my friends would have dismissed my attitude as being a big baby about it... and rightfully so as far as I am concerned. That's just the way it was. You can say what you want about our friendship but it worked for us.

What I find kind of warped is despite the fact the OP said this guy brags about his playing and shunned her style, you seem so focused on what you feel SHE did wrong and judge us for seeing a different side of the situation. Nice.
 

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