Is buying the wife flowers still romantic if I used her card?
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The Random Thought Megathread
- Thread starter Gorn
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I was shopping for a suit the other day
And walked into the department store
Stepped on the elevator and told the girl
"Dry goods floor"
When I got off, a salesman come up to me
He said "now, what can I do for you?"
I said "well go in there and show me all the sports clothes
Like you're supposed to"
He said, "well, sure, come on in buddy
Dig these fabrics we got laid out on the shelf"
He said
"Pick yourself out one try it on, stand in the mirror and dig yourself"
that suit's pure herringbone
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) yeah, that's a suit I'd like to own
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) buddy, that suit is you
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) yeah, I believe it too
I see for the business man you featurin' a natural shoulder
That retail, wholesale, indeed
It's got the custom cuffs and the walking short
He said "And I'm gonna let you have at a steal"
And for the playboy you have the latest in tweed
With the cut-away flap over twice
It's a box-back, two button western model
He said, "Now ain't that nice"
them buttons are solid gold
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) you made a deal, sold
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) that collar's pure camel hair
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) well, you can just set it down right in that chair
Now you go back there and you get that paper and let me sign on the dotted line
And I'll make sure I get all my payments in right on time
Hey wait a minute buddy, let me go back there and do a little checking on you
Then the man come back, he said "I'm sorry my man, but your credit didn't go through"
Why, what you mean?
ain't this a shame
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) my heart's in pain
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) pure, pure herringbone
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) that's a suit you'll never own
Ooh, Lord have mercy, I gotta good job, sweeping up every day...
And walked into the department store
Stepped on the elevator and told the girl
"Dry goods floor"
When I got off, a salesman come up to me
He said "now, what can I do for you?"
I said "well go in there and show me all the sports clothes
Like you're supposed to"
He said, "well, sure, come on in buddy
Dig these fabrics we got laid out on the shelf"
He said
"Pick yourself out one try it on, stand in the mirror and dig yourself"
that suit's pure herringbone
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) yeah, that's a suit I'd like to own
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) buddy, that suit is you
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) yeah, I believe it too
I see for the business man you featurin' a natural shoulder
That retail, wholesale, indeed
It's got the custom cuffs and the walking short
He said "And I'm gonna let you have at a steal"
And for the playboy you have the latest in tweed
With the cut-away flap over twice
It's a box-back, two button western model
He said, "Now ain't that nice"
them buttons are solid gold
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) you made a deal, sold
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) that collar's pure camel hair
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) well, you can just set it down right in that chair
Now you go back there and you get that paper and let me sign on the dotted line
And I'll make sure I get all my payments in right on time
Hey wait a minute buddy, let me go back there and do a little checking on you
Then the man come back, he said "I'm sorry my man, but your credit didn't go through"
Why, what you mean?
ain't this a shame
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) my heart's in pain
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) pure, pure herringbone
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) that's a suit you'll never own
Ooh, Lord have mercy, I gotta good job, sweeping up every day...
Hello, well that was the sound of Roger's Wah Wah Rabbits. You heard them eating endive there. That's very cheap at this time of the year. But now here in Willesden Green...yes, brrr...it's a bit chilly, but no matter, because here comes a gentleman and we're going to talk to him about shirts!
Excuse me, sir, would you mind talking to us about shirts?
Do what?
About shirts
Shirts?
Yes
Cause I've got plenty at home
Good grief
And here comes a lady with an enchanting little kangaroo. And I'm going to ask her something about shirts. No I'm not. Because she's given me a rather a vulgar sign
Would you…. Excuse me, would you mind, we're talking about shirts
Huh?
About shirts
Shirts?
Yes, the problem of shirts. The kind of…um, you know, are they necessary? Shirts
Where it is
Where it is. Yes, where is shirts?
I don't know
You don't know
Um, oh dear
There's a gentleman marching down here with a very determined stride. He looks a little cautious. He's hopping. Excuse me, sir, would you mind talking to me for a moment at all?
Uh, uh, what do you mean, guv'nor? What do you want to know?
Well, we're talking about shirts. About are they still necessary do you think? I mean, do you think they should they stop making shirts?
Oh, no, not at all. A man's not dr…not dressed unless he's got a nice shirt on, guv'nor, is he?
Not really, I suppose. What about the lengths of the shirt? Because the old ones used to be very long
Well, I'm more for the short shirt. The old types old-fashioned, mate
Gotta be a bit modern these days, guv'nor, ain't yer? Yes?
Well, you're certain with it, anyway?
Well, you've got to be with it
Of course. It's, uh…
Yes
…Right. Okay, well thank you very much. See you
Right-ho! Bye-bye!
Bye-bye
Well, I think we're going to have to leave it there and I'm going to take you right away straight over to the Earls Court Olympia to watch the shirt event. I'll repeat that…the shirt event. I'll repeat that…the shirt event. I'll repeat that…the shirt event. I'll repeat that…the shirt event
Good morning. Could I have this shirt cleaned "express," please?
Yes, that'll be three weeks, dearie
Three weeks? But the sign outside says 59-minute cleaners!
Yes, that's just the name of the shop, luv. We take three weeks to do a shirt
Just the name of the shop!?
Yes, that's if there's an R in the month, otherwise it's four weeks. Your name does begin with a P, doesn't it?
Well, no, actually, of course it's uh....
Well that'll be five weeks, then
Five weeks? Blimey!
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt
Well they're shakin' my shirt all over the place
But it's been thrown right back in my face
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt
New horizons in sound now as Roger plays a solo on the electric shirt collar
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt
Simon and Simon were not brothers in real life, only on television.
The Doobie Brothers are not related either and that seems like a bigger lie.
Let me be more specific...
Mark Farner's vibrato was a turn off.
I'm not a heavy vibrato fan.
Listening to opera sopranos drives me nuts
Mark Farner's vibrato was a turn off.
I'm not a heavy vibrato fan.
Listening to opera sopranos drives me nuts
Lot's of people say they are drummers, but really they are drum kit owners.
- James May
- James May
Why BUY flowers when you can just cruise through the local cemetery. There's always lots of flowers just sittin' there. Free for the taking.
Just make sure that the card doesn't say "dearly departed "Why BUY flowers when you can just cruise through the local cemetery. There's always lots of flowers just sittin' there. Free for the taking.
Refuse, reduce, reuse, recycle!Why BUY flowers when you can just cruise through the local cemetery. There's always lots of flowers just sittin' there. Free for the taking.
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