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thinking of quitting completely

Shawman

Shawman

Aug 23, 2006
299
0
39
Kirriemuir/Dundee, Scotland
www.myspace.com
#1
not sure exactly why this is, but i've really not been enjoying being in a band and playing to people of late, for instance i just got home from a gig tonight, i wasn't feeling up for it in the first place, didn't enjoy my time on stage and now that i'm home i don't feel as though i had fun

not only that, but even at home, the only time my basses leave the wall is for rehearsal or a gig, don't really have any desire to play on my own in the house and even rehearsals seem like a chore now!

been considering this for a while now, but thinking about cashing in on my gear and giving up (wuss' way out, i know)

anybody else been this way? looking for a bit of advice really, continue playing and not enjoying it, or back out completely? or anyone have any suggestions on how to enjoy playing music again or building confidence

(reading this back it seems very "wahhh i'ma gonna go cry in the corner" but don't really know anyone else i can ask)
 
#7
Or just get together with friends or other musicians and jam and play what you like. No rehearsals. No gigs and all the related chores with that. Just a good time playing (plus drinks, dinner, whatever).

FWIW, I stopped playing for many years (got tired of practicing/playing by myself, no one immediately available to play with), and now that I'm playing again (with friends only), I really regret having lost all those years when I could've been improving.

Or take a break, as suggested (w/o selling stuff you may regret not having later), and re-evaluate from there.

Good luck, DM
 
#8
Wow dude, don't know what to tell you. Sounds like your just burnt out. Try joining another band or taking some time off. Try learning a different style of music that you've never played before. I personally haven't experienced anything like that. Good Luck to you.
 
#9
Think we've all been there at some point... motivation can come and go for all sorts of reasons n IMHO it does't always help to look for the why's and whats, it's better to look for something positive and new. Could be some new material a new venue a different bit of kit?
Somebody once pointed out to me "you may know lots of muso's but how many as a percentage of people in the town / city are out on a friday night playing?" I maybe didn't put that as well as he did but - it is a privalige to be up there playing - you've worked hard for that right don't give it up lightly.
Obviously my career is not in motivational speaking - but - DONT QUIT!!!
 
#10
+1 Take a break or try something different.

Personally, I get really into something and might stay that way for years, but eventually I get bored with everything, not just music. Thing that's kept me into music for many years is doing different things. Learning upright bass, studying jazz guitar, playing around with recording, playing bluegrass, etc. I've at many points had no band situation that made me excited, so I'll drop out for a while and get really into practicing at home and learning new stuff.

If you enjoyed it at one point, chances are you will again. I wouldn't sell all my gear, I'd just take a break.
 
#15
I recently was about to quit. I quit playing in the church praise band and have basically quit jamming with my friends. I sold most of my gear and was ready to sell it all. I didn't play for about a month. One day, I took an afternoon off from work. I was at home watching TV and stubbled across VH1 80's--"White Wedding" happened to be the video. I thought "hmmm, I haven't played that song in years." Next song, Def Leppard. I went down to my basement, plugged everything in, turned on my computer by my gear, and went to YouTube. I pulled up every song that got me excited to play as a youth. Two hours FLEW by! I've quit "creating" and have just played music that I think is fun to play. Currently, I'm having a BLAST each night. No band pressures, no snooty attitudes, no "that's not how it's played," blah blah F'ing blah I play to 50,000 imaginary fans in my basement---and they all love me. :bassist:

With all this---discover what made it fun, and go that. Or, just take a break for a bit.
 
#16
don't sell your gear! you can ship it all to me for safe keeping, i'll use, er, keep it safe for you, and if you ever get the desire back i'll ship it back to you. that way you can feel totally out of the game but without the huge financial hit selling now and buying it all again later. sounds like win, win, win to me... all upside.:D
 
#18
metallicafan18 said:
maybe give it a break for a bit and see if you want to come back to it.
Click to expand...
wideyes said:
+1, don't sell your stuff. I see posts on here all the time from guys who say, "I came back from a 10 year hiatus and wish I hadn't sold all my gear"...
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kenfxj said:
You've lost your mojo baby!

Take some time off. Think about what got you started in the first place.
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jmattbassplaya said:
Like others have said, don`t sell your gear. More than likely you`ll come back to playing in a month or two and will wish you still had everything.
Click to expand...

Do this...

Dee-man said:
Or just get together with friends or other musicians and jam and play what you like. No rehearsals. No gigs and all the related chores with that. Just a good time playing (plus drinks, dinner, whatever).

FWIW, I stopped playing for many years (got tired of practicing/playing by myself, no one immediately available to play with), and now that I'm playing again (with friends only), I really regret having lost all those years when I could've been improving.

Or take a break, as suggested (w/o selling stuff you may regret not having later), and re-evaluate from there.

Good luck, DM
Click to expand...
or this.

Don't sell it!
 
#19
N.F.A. said:
Take a break and maybe try another instrument for awhile.. If you sell stuff, keep at least one bass in case you change your mind.
Click to expand...

Howdy...

Geoff (above NFA) probably has the wisest answer.

It may be that your frustrated by the work, people, politics and pay you're currently at.

It may be time to sit back and noodle some piano, go through vocals etc.

====
Like you, at times I get bummed about the biz parts, late nights, random obstacles etc.

The smiles on a young kid who wants to hold my bass and have mom/dad take their pix makes the difference.

====

I could be a golfer or other sportsman- not sure I'd accumulate the cool gear, stories and get paid to have fun.

====

If you do not have a passionate and sincere love for helping folks have a great time and enjoy themselves, live music may not be your deal.
 
#20
I hear what you're saying and I've gone through that. I think that the previous advice of taking a break and trying another instrument are solid ideas. I also will suggest you think about what it is that you loved about music in the first place. Also, perhaps it's the kind of music you're playing at this point.

I know that one big part of my musical journey (and I'm never past this...sometimes I forget and have to go though the whole process again) is figuring out both who you are and who you're not as a musician. That is to say, it's wonderful to wish you were a certain kind of musician, and it's great to have aspirations. But figuring out who you are as a musician goes hand in hand with your journey of figuring out who you are as a person. So my question for you would be: Do you know these things about yourself? If so, can you apply them to your music?

For example, I spent a lot of the last five years studing upright and trying to get into bop and post-bop. I learned a lot and became a better player for sure. But I also learned that as a guy who grew up listening to my dad's Beatles and Beach Boys records, and who never really got into jazz until my late 20s (and not in a serious way until my early 30s...and I'm 38 now), jazz was just not me. It's becomming me more and more as I get older. But I was having a horrible time memorizing standards...and after a while I realized that the core of the problem was that I didn't know the songs! I couldn't hear the melody in my head when I saw the title. I didn't grow up with the music and I didn't even like a lot of the songs. Plus, jazz was so vast in terms of style that I had no idea what style I fit into...so I tried a LOT and sucked at a lot. Now I'm starting to develop a list of jazz standards I love...and I also have gotten more specific about my identity as a jazz bassist. First, I'm a blues and swing guy who can play a little bit of bop. I'm not a fast-tempo bop guy, I'm not a modern guy, I'm not a post-bop guy...no matter how much I want to be or wish I was. I am who I am and I can either get real good at what I naturally am inclined to do (and push my boundaries over time too) or I can just get pissed off and frustrated all the time.

Also, a big realization for me is that as much as I'd like to be an upright player I'm not. Going back to bass guitar has been awesome. And now I'm playing bass in alt-country/Americana band where I can play music that's right up my alley. I can put my jazz knowledge and chops to work, throwing in some Phil Lesh type of stuff here and there, and really understanding my choices. Most importantly I can just be myself. And I'm still pursuing my jazz studies...but on bass guitar. So it's not "traditional". So what? I'm never going to get a gig at the Village Vanguard anyway, no matter what a nice fantasy that is.

But unlike when I was trying to shove myself into the jazz mold on upright, all the while feeling uncomfortable and struggling to keep up...and unlike rock bands I've played in in the past where I wanted to play in front of "good" crowds and for "decent" money, but didn't always love the music...now I look forward to playing again. I look forward to practicing and rehearsing. It took me a while to get back there but now that I'm there it's awesome!

Along the way I hadn't touched a bass guitar for a long while. I played upright and I even got into chromatic harmonica for a while. Now I'm back to the instrument I loved to begin with: bass guitar...and I'm really, really happy about it.

So I'd say not to sell the gear. Just step back and live a little. And if life brings you back to music, or music pulls you back as it were, then try to start from a place of joy and enjoyment. Because if that's not there then why are you doing it? If you don't need it for a paycheck then why rake yourself over the coals?
 

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