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thinking of quitting completely

#21
Shawman said:
not sure exactly why this is, but i've really not been enjoying being in a band and playing to people of late, for instance i just got home from a gig tonight, i wasn't feeling up for it in the first place, didn't enjoy my time on stage and now that i'm home i don't feel as though i had fun

not only that, but even at home, the only time my basses leave the wall is for rehearsal or a gig, don't really have any desire to play on my own in the house and even rehearsals seem like a chore now!

been considering this for a while now, but thinking about cashing in on my gear and giving up (wuss' way out, i know)

anybody else been this way? looking for a bit of advice really, continue playing and not enjoying it, or back out completely? or anyone have any suggestions on how to enjoy playing music again or building confidence

(reading this back it seems very "wahhh i'ma gonna go cry in the corner" but don't really know anyone else i can ask)
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PLEASE DON'T SELL YOUR GEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm 21, After I did 2 years at music college... I stopped playing bass. Besides 2 bands and 6 gigs, I wouldn't play over a 2 year span.

I REGRET IT NOW!!! Two years later, I regret it. I'm playing catchup like crazy and I miss it so much now. I'm in 5 groups and doing session work, and I love it again.

Stop playing if you don't want to play, but DON'T sell your gear. keep it in your life. I hope this helps
 
#24
Shawman said:
not sure exactly why this is, but i've really not been enjoying being in a band and playing to people of late, for instance i just got home from a gig tonight, i wasn't feeling up for it in the first place, didn't enjoy my time on stage and now that i'm home i don't feel as though i had fun

not only that, but even at home, the only time my basses leave the wall is for rehearsal or a gig, don't really have any desire to play on my own in the house and even rehearsals seem like a chore now!

been considering this for a while now, but thinking about cashing in on my gear and giving up (wuss' way out, i know)

anybody else been this way? looking for a bit of advice really, continue playing and not enjoying it, or back out completely? or anyone have any suggestions on how to enjoy playing music again or building confidence

(reading this back it seems very "wahhh i'ma gonna go cry in the corner" but don't really know anyone else i can ask)
Click to expand...
If you don't make your living from playing bass, then it's a hobby. Hobbies are supposed to be enjoyable and therapeutic. If it's not enjoyable, then it's not therapeutic. So there's no reason to do it.

You don't owe it to the world or to anyone else to play music. If you want to hang it up, hang it up and find another hobby that IS fun and therapeutic for you. It's not like someone is going to tell you that you can never come back to music (if you ever choose to). Life is too short to waste time with something that isn't giving you anything.

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with you hanging up the music scene and walking away. Go find something that makes you happy! Take up SCUBA, do more fishing, go back to college, learn a new skill, get into photography...the list is endless! Do what makes you happy. Life's too short to waste on a dead hobby.

Lots of folks on here don't like the idea of you leaving music and they talk about regretting it later, etc. Whatever with all that! Don't live in the past. If you don't make your living from playing music then there's nothing to regret if you leave it or if you leave and come back 10 years later. Really, what have you lost? Nothing....because if it's just a hobby, there's really no "achievements" that you are aiming for. Leave all the hangups. Free yourself. If you're not happy....GO!
(you'll be glad you did)
 
#25
Shawman said:
not sure exactly why this is, but i've really not been enjoying being in a band and playing to people of late, for instance i just got home from a gig tonight, i wasn't feeling up for it in the first place, didn't enjoy my time on stage and now that i'm home i don't feel as though i had fun

not only that, but even at home, the only time my basses leave the wall is for rehearsal or a gig, don't really have any desire to play on my own in the house and even rehearsals seem like a chore now!

been considering this for a while now, but thinking about cashing in on my gear and giving up (wuss' way out, i know)

anybody else been this way? looking for a bit of advice really, continue playing and not enjoying it, or back out completely? or anyone have any suggestions on how to enjoy playing music again or building confidence

(reading this back it seems very "wahhh i'ma gonna go cry in the corner" but don't really know anyone else i can ask)
Click to expand...

Are you an introvert?

Ive found I am. I use most form of bass (electric, contrabass and EUB) and study as a soloist in jazz, classical, contemporary, you name it.

I never had a lot of luck with finding a steady group, but I figure thats partly to do with who I am. So now I enjoy it more when I do play with others but dont need them in the meantime.

I wouldnt be worried about bad gigs, hell many of us have to live off bad gigs, but if youre not enjoying music in your own personal time, then you need to find a direction that inspires you, or quit. Theres no point in doing something you dont enjoy, but perhaps its simply what youre doing at the moment that you dont enjoy, not necessarily music altogether.
 
#26
wideyes said:
...posts on here all the time from guys who say, "I came back from a 10 year hiatus and wish I hadn't sold all my gear"...
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Don't live in the past. People change, they sell stuff, they lose stuff. Even if he sells all his stuff, what does it matter? If he comes back later, I'm sure there'll still be basses for sale. It really isn't a big deal. The economy is bad right now. Holding on to useless stuff that could bring money if it was sold is a foolish waste. Unless he has some "collectable" gear, I'd sell it. If it's just some cheap MIM Fender or something, why hold onto that?

Regret is like fear. It only has as much power as we choose to give it.
 
#28
wideyes said:
+1, don't sell your stuff. I see posts on here all the time from guys who say, "I came back from a 10 year hiatus and wish I hadn't sold all my gear"...
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+1. Sell your stuff that you really could care less about, but at least keep a bass, even if it's to store in the closet for a couple of years until you say "Hey, I'd like to pick it up again."
 
#30
Shawman said:
not sure exactly why this is, but i've really not been enjoying being in a band and playing to people of late, for instance i just got home from a gig tonight, i wasn't feeling up for it in the first place, didn't enjoy my time on stage and now that i'm home i don't feel as though i had fun
Click to expand...

No matter what you do, this feeling about it will come along eventually I think. Its a good thing. Its the process of maturing, growing up and taking responsibility for your life, rather than being driven by feelings.

I've quit too many good things because they weren't "fun" anymore. Now when that feeling comes along I usually don't give it much creedence.

If this is new to you, I'd determine to stick with the program. My guess is that you'll come out on the other side better for it.
 
#31
bluewine said:
It means if your a true musician, you can't just quit. If you can, it means you were never really truly in this.
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That's silly.

Anyway, I experienced the same thing with golf. I played every day and was nuts over the game. Then one day I woke up, didn't feel like going to the range. That was three years ago, I haven't been back. I think about playing once in a while but then it passes.

I'm yet another person who will encourage you to keep your gear. If you do need the money then at least keep one bass and an amp (depending on how much gear you have).
Put it away in the closet and if you ever want to play again, it'll be there waiting for you.
 
#32
chubrocker said:
I play to 50,000 imaginary fans in my basement---and they all love me. :bassist:
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This was excellent....

If you sell gear keep your favorite bass. I would imagine it would be harder to replace your favorite bass then it would an amp... unless you have something special.

I would just take a break, w/o selling stuff if possible. If after a month or two then decide what you really want to do.

Good luck man
 
#33
The last time I went through the feeling I wanted to give up playing..
Something that I really love to do, and I am, through and through.. But just seem to have lost the desire, passion and
joy.. My love became job and service..

So, I decided to revisit my youth and the things about music and playing, that moved me on a soul level..
Had nothing to do with money, work, chicks, responsibility or influence.. Just love and appreciation, mostly of just having embraced this musical gift..
I went out and purchased and inexpensive stereo receiver and turntable.. Then I started searching for and buying the vinyl that I grew up listening to on the radio and learning to play along to.
After flipping through the few album covers and reading credits and looking at the photos while obviously listening to the music, I started smiling again, even laughing and enjoying.. Like a kid!
This may sound cheesy, but even falling in love again with music..
Collecting vinyl has become my hobby, while on tour and even in my travels I think of finding the music that inspires and inspired me as a youth and gives me something to look forward to musically when I can listen at home..

It really got me excited about playing again..

Yes, I have an I pod. But not hte same thing at all..The experience of the vinyl, the turntable, the stereo, the album art/cover, etc..Sometimes the first musical memories.
The beginning, the inspiration.. priceless!
good luck my friend!
 
#34
As said before, DON'T SELL YOUR RIG!

What I have to add is that if you're feeling this way about life in general, IME, it's time to see the Doc to make sure that everything's okay physically. There are medical problems that can cause this (diabetes, thyroid, low vitamin levels, disturbed sleep, etc) . If everything is okay physically, IME, then it's time to explore new avenues of life style where you are not so down about stuff. Check your diet, exercise, sleep regimen, relationships, etc.

Some TB'rs have taken off from music for years to pursue other goals, education, hobbies, lifestyles, etc. When they were ready to back to music they did, if they weren't they didn't.

No downside to exploring other avenues and getting more information before you make a decision. I'd also think about discussing your situation with your band mates to get their take on the issue. Maybe they have some ideas for you.

Here's a link to a previous TB thread on the topic: http://www.talkbass.com/forum/showthread.php?t=230363

Good luck.
 
#37
+1 to Al Berry

Have totally been there. When I was tired of being the bass guy, I just started listening to music to see what I liked. I wound up not playing bass for quite a while. I heard some David Grissom and thought holy crap, that is cool. I moved on to Mandolin, then fiddle, then guitar, cello, upright bass, lapsteel, Accordian (even have 2 of them), Rhodes piano, electronic music....etc, etc..... Basically, I became a serial musician. It led to a ton of gigs, sessions, some tours. If you love music and are tired of bass, take a break and listen for what excites you musically. it might not be bass, but so what. Even though bass is still my favorite, it is not the be all, end all of music. Just keep an open mind, breath deep and listen.
Just be ready to have some sort of explanation to give your spouse when he/she asks you why you need all 50+ instruments.....and the massive vinyl collection.....takes up a lot of room.

My wife does have a lot of shoes...........
 
#39
I've gone through 4 distinct musical phases in my life.

16 - 20 years of age
22 - 26 years of age
28 - 30 years of age
38 - present years of age

Each phase I bought gear, played in bands, burned out, sold everything and did something else. During those down times I earned an MBA, started businesses, got married, had kids, became a black belt in Taekwondo, and various other things that broadened my horizons. Rock star was never in the cards though.

I don't ever regret selling any of my stuff except for that Greg Curbow I picked up at a pawn shop for nothing, but that's a different story. Each time I quit I knew I was done for the time being. I just woke up and knew it. I also knew I'd be back at some point too.

I'm having more fun now than I ever did when I was younger. I'm currently playing in an original rock band with a couple members almost half my age. As long as they'll let me play with them I'm game.

I don't have any advice to tell you except my story. Everyone feels burned out at some point. That goes for everything in life you do day in and day out. I handled it my way. You'll find what works best for you.
 
#40
Don't quit entirely.

Just take a break for a while. You're just burned out, probably. Find a hobby, read a book, learn a different instrument (perhaps radically different), go hiking, learn to fix cars. Do stuff you've wanted to do.

And then listen to the music that inspired you to pick up an instrument in the first place. When I'm discouraged, some Black Sabbath always gets me in a playing mood.
 

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