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Thoughtless Band Leader

#41
This kind of two-facedness is probably a bit worse or more pronounced in our industry. Probably no way around that as we're dealing with emotional self doubting bleeding hearts.

Who hasn't been fawned over, taken to dinner, essentially promised the gig merely because the band is relieved to have a real bass player again and can make their gig obligations only to hear a week later, that the violinist thinks you smoke too much pot and you're off the tour?

Violins are stupid anyway, just miniature basses, ya' know?
 
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#42
tubenutq5 said:
To the OP: I am with you that that was a classless action on the BL's part. Unacceptable and unprofessional. But I have to differ with your response. NEVER burn your bridges, the local scene is too small. The best thing to do was thank them for their interest and ask them to please keep you in mind. Now YOU are the nice guy and they are the schlubs and they know it. By being the nice guy, now, there is no impediment for them to call you back when there next BP turns out to be terrible. I realize that life is unfair so no dis brother, just sayin'.
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Why in the world would you even consider going back to that scenario? You'd have to be Charlie Brown to fall for that. Lucy's not going to pull the football back this time, I just know it!

Small town, big city, no difference. You'd be a fool to play with someone who pull stunts like this or play with someone who supports a BL pulling said stunt. Burn that bridge. That way you aren't suckered into trying to cross it again.
 
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#43
RandalPinkFloyd said:
Why in the world would you even consider going back to that scenario? You'd have to be Charlie Brown to fall for that. Lucy's not going to pull the football back this time, I just know it!

Small town, big city, no difference. You'd be a fool to play with someone who pull stunts like this or play with someone who supports a BL pulling said stunt. Burn that bridge. That way you aren't suckered into trying to cross it again.
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On the other hand, if everything else is in order but for respecting bassists, he could "teach" them by being available as permanent sub paid before playing.
,
 
#44
RandalPinkFloyd said:
Why in the world would you even consider going back to that scenario? You'd have to be Charlie Brown to fall for that. Lucy's not going to pull the football back this time, I just know it!

Small town, big city, no difference. You'd be a fool to play with someone who pull stunts like this or play with someone who supports a BL pulling said stunt. Burn that bridge. That way you aren't suckered into trying to cross it again.
Click to expand...

I understand that and we should always be wary of those types of situations. Same goes with the rest of life. You know as well as I do that the "local music scene" (regardless of a city's size) is always small and word travels fast. It is better to be held out as a good guy and a pro than a jerk regardless of how you were treated. Even the people who screwed you over still like you. Do you remember the old adage, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"?
 
#45
I've been in and out of bands over the last couple of years. I've (nearly) always left on good terms. There's always a perfectly accept reason and the real one. I bailed on a band because I knew it would trainwreck and it did. I gave them a reasonable reason, I didnt say that the set wouldnt work and that the guitarist was a knobhead. I joined a startup that folded and I'm not sure if it folded or I got the boot. I was nice about it, I wasnt sure if it was for me anyway, so no foul.

I learned about 20 songs for an audition that I wasnt sure I had. Band never got back to me. I learned 20 songs. No problem.

IMHO it's not about burning bridges, I'll burn them happily, it's what people say about you to others. If someone mistrats you and you tell them to foxtrot oscar, they will tell other people that you are the jerk. THe problem is that the band leader in the op sounds like she has no clue that she is thoughtless. However she was told where to go by someone and will probably think that this is out of order.

Always leave on a good note (I publicly burnt bridges a while back and had to work hard to resore my reputation).
 
#47
I do not understand any of the posts on this board. Me and that bandleader would become mortal enemies, and I would have no problem letting her know that. If it was the guitar player's choice, then she should not have been auditioning or contacting anyone, other than to set them up with the guitar player.
 
#51
tubenutq5 said:
To the OP: I am with you that that was a classless action on the BL's part. Unacceptable and unprofessional. But I have to differ with your response. NEVER burn your bridges, the local scene is too small. The best thing to do was thank them for their interest and ask them to please keep you in mind. Now YOU are the nice guy and they are the schlubs and they know it. By being the nice guy, now, there is no impediment for them to call you back when there next BP turns out to be terrible. I realize that life is unfair so no dis brother, just sayin'.
Click to expand...

The band leader probably doesn't realize it, but he is the one burning bridges.
 
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#52
If they call again, I would express disapproval with the hours you put in on the strength of a promise. Indicate you need to payment as soon as you show up, and ask for a higher rate of pay than normal for the first gig. Say that after that happens, you'll go forward in trust, but not unless they pony up. If they don't pony up then I wouldn't be spending any more time with them, unless I am sorely out of gigs and bands to play with.
 

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