Every single day. It's taken my band five years to record three songs. Great music and great guys, but we just can't seem to make recording happen.
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Throw it all away, burn it down. I hate music.
- Thread starter Papazita
- Start date
I was in the same boat about 4 years ago with sax.
I love playing sax, probably a bit more than bass (I play each instrument for different reasons), but I was in a deep depression to begin with, which I was using music to help me cope with, and the hole kept getting deeper and deeper.
Eventually, I sold a soprano I had bought about a year earlier, put my Keilwerth in its case and tucked it away in the back of the closet, and sold off anything that wasn't essential to playing sax.
Then I took some time off from bass to focus on me and trying to get back to my "normal" self. Therapy, meds, the whole 9 yeards.
After a few months, I picked up my bass and started to play simple things to test the waters. I started feeling better the more often I played, so I figured it was time to bring music back into my routine.
But my sax sat in the closet.
We moved and it's been in the closet here for the last three years, and only in the last two weeks have I taken it out of its case and looked it over to see what kind of work needs to be done on it before I can play it again.
So, the tl;dr of it is--for some, these feelings come and go, and sometimes it takes significant time to put those feelings of despair aside through coping with and addressing them, before we can get back to the things we love doing.
I'm not saying anyone going through this has depression or anything clinical. I am saying that humans have moods and feelings that ebb and flow given our surroundings and we need to pay attention to how our environment affects our mental state.
Anyway, I hope you find the love and enjoyment again soon. With all the BS going on, any positive outlet is a good thing.
Your stroke experience is very similar to my own. Having the use of your fingers isn’t the same thing as having the dexterity and digital coordination of those fingers at the level of a professional musician.
Like you I plugged (and continue to plug away) at it. And while it’s gotten better and still keeps slowly improving, it bears scant resemblance to what it was prior to my own incident. And I too now have some neurological weirdnesses to deal with.
In my case it’s slight but noticeable time lags between the command to move a finger and it actually moving. There’s also the occasional annoyance of a finger randomly going completely “offline” for a second or two. The first problem requires me to mentally play a fraction of a second ahead of the beat most times so the notes come out on the beat correctly. The second necessitates quick finger substitutions and makes for some odd looking fingering patterns at times. And there is also that heaviness, numbness, fatigue, tingling, and pain you mentioned earlier to keep the above problems company.
But we can both still play. And that’s enough.
Yes. I know exactly what you're talking about.
I used to just sit and play not even thinking of what my hands were doing. It was automatic. Now I feel like my right hand is learning all over again and I have to concentrate on every motion of my right hand while being aware of what my left hand is about to do. That concentration gets very tiring rather quickly.
One thing I had a real issue with was the inability to play my favorite Hofner Ignition club due to the close string spacing. My right hand simply refused to find the proper string. However that has improved greatly in the last few months.
For me all that concentration on motion distracts from the joy of making music.
It's not all doom and gloom since it has improved over time. However, I fear I will never be the same as I was so I'll just have to do as well as I can with this new body.
I hope you continue to improve and realize your potential.
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I didn't read through the whole thread so I don't know exactly what it is you're trying to do. In the past I've also had my moments of giving up due to frustration. I was always comparing myself to this or to that player. You know, "I'll never be like them." Bad move. But I've found what gives me the most musical pleasure is coming up with my own songs. I just reached a point of saying to myself "I'm tired of comparing myself to this or that person. I'm gonna see what I can do."
Believe me, I do get stuck on things. But for me the best inspiration/motivation are the Beatles Anthology CD's. I can't believe how rough and ragged some of those first takes were. Some were actually pretty laughable. But they kept going over and over those and new ideas came up. Hearing how they turned those rough first takes into gems amazed me. It was nice knowing that even they had to work at it.
I've never said my songs are great or even any good. I also don't care if anybody ever hears them. But for me it sure is fun! It really makes you listen and think hard. Playing guitar also helps a lot.
I guess my whole point is to find some new inspiration as others here have suggestion. Find a new approach, find a really good teacher or learn a new instrument. Or maybe, just maybe you are ready for a little break. If so take it. Your bass will be there waiting for you.
You'll find your way.
Believe me, I do get stuck on things. But for me the best inspiration/motivation are the Beatles Anthology CD's. I can't believe how rough and ragged some of those first takes were. Some were actually pretty laughable. But they kept going over and over those and new ideas came up. Hearing how they turned those rough first takes into gems amazed me. It was nice knowing that even they had to work at it.
I've never said my songs are great or even any good. I also don't care if anybody ever hears them. But for me it sure is fun! It really makes you listen and think hard. Playing guitar also helps a lot.
I guess my whole point is to find some new inspiration as others here have suggestion. Find a new approach, find a really good teacher or learn a new instrument. Or maybe, just maybe you are ready for a little break. If so take it. Your bass will be there waiting for you.
You'll find your way.
Funny you should say that... I'm in the same place. However, I just extricated myself from a band that became an emotional nightmare for me for about 2 years, and I'm hoping it's a hangover from that. I'm using the CV lockdowns as an opportunity to get away from it and try to clear my head.
In the end, music has always been in my blood. It's always been the first priority to me, even (maybe especially) when I had a day career.
I think we need a support group.
I have been working from home, my home computer is in my practice room, and thus at the end of the day I just want out of here. So I haven't picked up a bass in two months. Now practice with the band starts later this month and first gig in mid-August, yes I will send a report. So now I feel pressure, pressure to re-hone my craft, but I don't feel energized. I feel the wrong emotion. Deep inside I hope the excitement comes back. Maybe I just need to hit that first note.
Wow! I wake up and get back online and find that this has turned into the biggest post I've ever made on talkbass.
I can certainly relate to the OP on having mixed feelings. The last 2 years has been a roller coaster related to my musical pursuits. Leaving a band, concentrating on another, surgery, long down time post-op, one member quitting, finding a replacement, virus shutdown, things opening slowly, cancellations.....
It's been hard to stay motivated.
It's been hard to stay motivated.
I think I need to get out and see some stellar bands. I saw Level 42 a few years ago and came away like a kid with a whole new energy.
EDIT: I've been watching local bands on streaming and all that did was to depress me as to the state of local music. Meaning: they are very lazy, playing the same old crap, no rehearsal, look like crap, just in it for some cash, and really suck. It's no wonder all local bands get is $100 per man. They're not worth that.
EDIT: I've been watching local bands on streaming and all that did was to depress me as to the state of local music. Meaning: they are very lazy, playing the same old crap, no rehearsal, look like crap, just in it for some cash, and really suck. It's no wonder all local bands get is $100 per man. They're not worth that.
Shiny things? Like Shiny Happy People holding hands?
I can't do bird and squirrel videos. We have cats. They go a little too nuts.
Solzhenitsyn is absolutely my favorite author! Cancer Ward is a yearly read for me, as well as the Stolypin assassination section hidden in the middle of August 1914 of The Red Wheel. I'm glad I saw this post, it reminded me that all of Solzhenitsyn's books have recently been reprinted and I have a huge buying spree to go on! I can FINALLY track down the other 2 volumes of Gulag Archepelago.
- Sep 4, 2010
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I feel your frustration. I have 2 ways to deal with it
1) Repair my connection with the instrument (this is for me often the direct reason i get frustrated: lack of connection). Take a quiet moment early in the morning. Play a note, letting it ring out, and listen to it intently. Process what you just heard and play the same note again, you'll maybe make some adjustments in touch etc (this happens without thinking) . Repeat. Take at least 10 minutes for this. It brings me back in the moment and can yield immediate positive and amazing results on how I actually feel.
2) Recognize myself as a musician. Remove the goal posts and start writing tunes; Learn to mix on a DAW; Catch up on theory; Watch Rick Beato. All that good stuff.
1) Repair my connection with the instrument (this is for me often the direct reason i get frustrated: lack of connection). Take a quiet moment early in the morning. Play a note, letting it ring out, and listen to it intently. Process what you just heard and play the same note again, you'll maybe make some adjustments in touch etc (this happens without thinking) . Repeat. Take at least 10 minutes for this. It brings me back in the moment and can yield immediate positive and amazing results on how I actually feel.
2) Recognize myself as a musician. Remove the goal posts and start writing tunes; Learn to mix on a DAW; Catch up on theory; Watch Rick Beato. All that good stuff.
I started drawing cartoon characters around Thanksgiving. I got really into drawing despite always having been terrible at it. I was drawing 8-10 hours a week!
The obsession waned in February and I started writing songs again for the first time in a decade.
TL;DR give yourself a break, pick up another obsession, and you may have fresh enthusiasm when you come back to it
The obsession waned in February and I started writing songs again for the first time in a decade.
TL;DR give yourself a break, pick up another obsession, and you may have fresh enthusiasm when you come back to it
i understand that frustration or "creative block"...good to walk away from it awhile, listen to different music that soothes the soul and something you'd never want to play, but just listen to peacefully...find a different hobby for a bit..then come back...
If anyone hasn't used this pandemic as an opportunity to put music aside for a while, there's still time to do so. Stepping away for a bit is often tough--not so much now. And the break will absolutely help you in the long run.
played piano since 1963 , bass/gtr since early 70's ... trumpet , vocals , etc ... music major in college ..
now 62 ... and Yes ... have been there .. !! on the fence even now ..
all projects on hold ... spent the last year buying stuff to play out .. PA and stuff , so i can keep all my better stuff in home studio ... now i'm kinda like, why bother ... but i keep practicing and snatching up good deals on smaller gadgets for playing out ... playing bass , acoustic gtr , keys and vocals means a good bit of gear to buy , haul around , hookup , practice and maintain ... ! my duo projects might be OK in the future ... the 5 piece might have issues .. !?!
but i keep at it ... music has been the largest chunk of my life ( kinda makes me Me .! ) heck , i could read music before i could read words .. !
but Yes ... it all gets terribly frustrating at times ... over the decades i've got good at channeling nervous energy , but not so good at channeling anger/frustration .. !? Seems if you can figure your way thru 1 issue , you should be able to use a similar methodology to get thru - whatever ..?!
now 62 ... and Yes ... have been there .. !! on the fence even now ..
all projects on hold ... spent the last year buying stuff to play out .. PA and stuff , so i can keep all my better stuff in home studio ... now i'm kinda like, why bother ... but i keep practicing and snatching up good deals on smaller gadgets for playing out ... playing bass , acoustic gtr , keys and vocals means a good bit of gear to buy , haul around , hookup , practice and maintain ... ! my duo projects might be OK in the future ... the 5 piece might have issues .. !?!
but i keep at it ... music has been the largest chunk of my life ( kinda makes me Me .! ) heck , i could read music before i could read words .. !
but Yes ... it all gets terribly frustrating at times ... over the decades i've got good at channeling nervous energy , but not so good at channeling anger/frustration .. !? Seems if you can figure your way thru 1 issue , you should be able to use a similar methodology to get thru - whatever ..?!
I once got so frustrated with myself/playing, i stopped playing for 10 years. I would pick it up once in a while, but I would quickly get discouraged & put it down for months, what got me back was my best friend prodded me to start up again, also listening to new music, sparked a new flame of inspiration. I longed to play again, so I resolved to work on my weaknesses! I also decided to "work on techniques I was intrigued by but never used, like slapping! I bought books & discovered many websites that could guide me. I thought about taking lessons but I really was not motivated or patient enough to go that route. learning new music& techniques helped and opened new territories to my playing. Taking a long break helped me forget a couple of bad habits,and encouraged me to continue to strengthen my weaknesses. I was able to leap over some of those learning humps(plateaus).
I suggest to take a break, listen to "new music" or a different genre. just to get a fresh perspective.not necessarily for 10 years just a break from yourself!probably just a week will do wonders! discover new worlds/ styles. I used to hate "POP" & rap, but now I learned to appreciate & almost love them!Picture a Heavy Rock Metal guy wearing a Billie Eillish shirt!
Redirect yourself:. I started hating playing after doing it for 30 years.....I became a RN.....and while I do hired gun work, I redirected myself away from live cover bands and into recording original music.....I'm musically happy again
FWIW I'm seeing a variation of this thread on multiple forums. One of the symptoms of depression is not enjoying the things you which once brought you joy. If it's just minor stuff like not enjoying the bass guitar, get your mind off yourself and go do something for someone else. Depression seems to feed on inward focus. Of course if it's more serious than that by all means get some help. But I think we're all under a bit more stress and cooped up with ourselves a bit more than is healthy of late. There's a lot more "going around" than just the virus
