• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Time to call it quits and liquidate??? (long rant)

#21
Holy smokes.....thanks all. Really appreciate the input, from all of you, really great points across the board. I'm getting a lot of advice I know I've passed along to others in the past (don't dump the gear) and I guess deep down, I know you're right in that I'd likely regret that at some point in time. I guess I need to figure out if it's the band situation that's got me twisted right now or if it's something deeper (thanks Rosanne).

I haven't taken this to the bandmates yet. Thought about it, but I don't want to set of any alarms if this turns out to be something I'll work through internally on my own.

Thanks all, I'm going to save this thread and look back on it to maintain perspective as I go along through this. I've been at this for 35 years with 2 breaks in between. One when I first got married, and the other to just clear the head after a really good band just drove itself into the ground 12 years ago. Again, all of you, thanks for your good advice.

Best,
Hammer
 
#23
it's ok to rant.

the reality is - with hobbies, jobs, sex, heck even with PEOPLE -- everything "gets old" that's repetitive.

I've run hot and cold with music and I even took 9 years off and did other hobbies. They got old and I went back to music.

By the time I'm 55, I pretty much intend to be out of the bar/nightclub business if I'm doing music at all.

So I'm not surprised about how you feel. I feel that way sometimes too. Even huge crowds, nice paychecks, etc. don't necessarily make up for the "same soup, different bowl" thing going on at a lot of gigs. It's human nature to get bored. I've seen it in band members. You can tell when someone isn't into it. They start looking and acting bored, or cranky. Yup, it happens.

For me, it's a hobby. When it ceases to be fun. When it begins to feel like a second job, I'm out. Doesn't matter how well things are going. My hobby is supposed to be my joy, my release. if it's not that, what good is it? I have so little time in my life that I can't justify doing anything on the side that isn't fun. Really fun. And this is where you are.

I think you need a new and different challenge. Something other than being in a cover/wedding band. Or maybe take a year or two off from music and try something different. I dunno. But i understand where you're coming from.
 
#24
I'm 58 and I really enjoy the band I'm in now. I have been in a lot of bands over the years. This is a blues band playing a 50-50 mix of covers and originals. The singer writes all the songs but he knows nothing about music so the guitar player and I flesh out the songs and that is a very rewarding process. We have a constantly changing set list and that keeps things fresh.
 
#25
I feel you!! I'm almost there myself. I'm 49 and in the area where I live, like minded musicians into the same music and passion for said music is nill!! I've settled for a mediocre band with so so musicians, playing music I don't love and every rehearsal and gig is a struggle and so not worth it but I love music too much to give up just yet. I know it's coming soon though. I echo some of the sentiments here about keeping at least one bass and a small rig (my plan is to keep a micro 300w amp and a 1x10 or a 1x12 cab and that's it).
 
#29
sublime0bass said:
this may be the wrong thing to say on this website, but maybe try another instrument?

something that doesn't have the same skill set as bass, like drums or a woodwind/brass
Click to expand...

Actually, that has crossed my mind more than a few times in the past couple months. Thanks, though.

I'm going to take this slow and not make any rash decisions. I need to soul-search and figure out the true source of my discontent. Only then, will I know what I need to do. All suggestions address valid points and any / all of these points could be contributing to this slump I'm in. All I know is I hate it. It's almost like a depression of some sort. I'm not a guy that's prone to that sort of thing, but I am just having a hell of a time trying to get on top of this. Thanks again all. It really does help to vent. I guess this place really is more than just gear, performance, and theory!

Best,
Hammer
 
#31
I had that same feeling a couple of years ago. I changed things up and joined a 80s metal cover band and Im loving it. Thesandsman I also play in a trio with my two sons. We are putting together a CD. NEVER sell your stuff:eek:. I sold a beautiful Gibson long neck EBO 15 years ago:crying:. Man I wish I had that thing back, great looking bass! Hang in there and keep your stuff!
TR
 
#34
I took 3 years off from playing when my life was so busy, and I had no free time at all. I was working, eating, and sleeping. That was it.

I sold off all of my gear except for an acoustic guitar and my favorite bass - my Heartfield DR-5. Thank goodness I kept that bass; it's pretty much irreplaceable to me.

Sometimes a break is good. When I stopped playing, it wasn't really by choice, but I was getting burned out on late night gigs for little pay, and the corporate gigs were making me feel cheap.

When I started back, I was rusty, but I knew what I wanted to play. I just needed to woodshed a bit. You don't really lose your musicianship, but the muscle memory and stamina take a bit of time to come back.

About the gear though: replacement cost is usually a *lot* more than what you get by selling your stuff. I'd think a long time before I got rid of gear that I liked.

Certainly, I'd sell stuff you're not in love with, but I'd keep a bass or two (or three!). If I were in a "put it aside" mode, I'd seel all but my 3 5 strings, and a little amp. Most of the rest of the stuff can either store in a small space or be replaced later.

Oh, and I'd keep my Deep Impact. ;-)
 
#35
Happens to everyone in every profession at one time or another. Before quitting and selling all your gear, try going to open jams. This really helped me and makes things fun again. Listen to music you don't normally listen to. Also picking up another instrument is always a good idea. It can open your eyes to other possibilities on your bass. Try not playing any instruments at all and just sing. do things in your spare time that don't involve music at all. Go camping ,hiking, ride a bike, ride a motorcycle, horseback riding, anything that you like that doesn't involve music. Sometimes your so close to a problem, you can't see the solution. You could always sponser a TB get together!!! mmmm beeeeeerrr
 
#37
Take a break if you need to, but don't sell your gear! You won't get much money for it, and in a couple years when you want it back, you'll have to blow a boatload of cash to replace it.

Sounds like you are burned out. There are lots of things you can do to shake it:

Take a break and get a fill in for the band
Start a side gig playing different music
Learn a new instrument
Get a teacher and take lessons
Become a teacher and give lessons
Learn a new style or a new technique
Try booking in some new places
Try booking in a new state
If you're doing covers, do some writing
If you're writing, do some covers
Do some recording
Try to do some sessions for other groups or artists
Redo your demo/press kit/pictures
work on your online presence to generate new fans, maybe some revenue

You're playing a lot of shows for a weekend warrior band, which is very cool, but if you're playing the same places and the same tunes, it's easy to burn out, especially when you see the same places and faces over and over.

I imagine playing weddings for your friends like you mentioned probably seems more like work than fun. See if you can hook up as an opener for a smaller national. Work on your contacts and booking agents, network with other groups in your area if you can't get into some of the bigger places.

Good luck!
 
#39
You are in the classic "rut".


Humans are goal oriented and we need to feel as if we're achieving something with our efforts. According to you, your music playing situation long ago leveled off and now you have nothing new to look forward to no matter how many more years you plan to put into it.

Rather than giving up on the music you enjoy, why not talk with your bandmates and see if you can come up with some new goals to work toward?
 
#40
I have done some serious soul-searching and pondered all of your responses on this matter and again, I do thank you all as you've collectively helped to put things into perspective. It's time to buck-up. I've recently been given an opportunity to hook up into a couple side projects. One is an easy-listening deal 3 piece small restaurant-lounge gig that requires only my bass and sansamp DI, doesn't run late, pays decent. The other is that our guitar/keyboard player, who is our primary writer, and I discussed some original stuff we recorded a few years back but with a couple exceptions, never really got the stuff to the stage. So we agreed that now might be a great time to revisit that, hone the stuff we've written and get back to writing some more and maybe refocus the band's direction more towards an origianl project with cover fills. So, if a change of pace is what the right medicine turns out to be, here it is! I came across a quote the other day which probably was as responsible for getting my head out of my butt as were all of you:

"Without music, life would be a mistake." Friedrich Nietzsch

Also:
knarleybass said:
For me in goes in cycles, where I feel like I am the luckiest guy on earth, other times I really hate playing in the bars. I try to keep in mind that I am pretty lucky to get to do what I do, and there are a lot of people that would love to do this. Hang in there and try to find new ways to feel good about your gigs. I have to do it all the time.
Click to expand...

So true Knarleybass. We are lucky to be able to do what we do. I forgot that.

So with that, thanks again all, see you all on the boards!

Best,
Hammer
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back