Tip jar at private party?

[aprod]

1. You shouldn't have agreed to do the gig for $300 to begin with. If these folks have dough then they probably wouldn't have even minded paying full price for the band. (My wife and I do fine money wise. I recently had one of my best friend's bands play for me. I wouldn't even think of taking a discount because I knew I was getting the full product, and not a reduced form of the product.)

2. Being that you DID take the gig, in my view, it was pretty much a freebie anyway. You were doing them a favor. So put out the jar and go for it. I have been to private parties where there was a jar and tipped myself. I wasn't offended at all.

3. Next time, stick with #1 and don't take a $300 private party. That isn't a discount. That is an insult. I wouldn't play a club gig for that, much less a private party for a rich group. Tell your guitar player the next time he wants to do a favor he can pony up the difference in what you would have been payed otherwise.

By the way, before any of you jump, a fund raiser is a totally different story. I play them all the time and really enjoy donating my time. Everybody else pays full price.... no exceptions.

+100

 

[jaywa]

FWIW... the best tip I ever got in 32 years of playing was earlier this year at a small house party put on by some VERY well-off folks. I won't say how much it was but it was almost as much as I was being paid for the gig.

The ironic thing was, we didn't have a tip jar out that night. This guy at the party came up to me at break, said he loved my bass playing and put it directly in my hand.

 

[longfinger]

One problem with a tip jar, is that it allows a lower starting salary to be negotiated with the expectation that the rest can be 'made in tips'. Perhaps that is fine for certain events where there is not a lot of start-up-money with the hosts...but for other events when there is the start up money, it is great just to negotiate a better pay.

 

[modulusman]

No. But the jazz quartet I play in does at our standing restaurant gig.

Now keep in mind (and in reference to my prior post), these are completely different gigs. My main band is doing street dances and wedding/corporate jobs primarily, with a fill-in bar gig here and there. We roll a full P.A. and light show and won't pack the trailer for less than $1,500 a night. My jazz quartet OTOH plays wallpaper music at a high-end steakhouse where our nightly pay wouldn't even buy dinner there for us and our wives.

So I've seen the issue from both sides.

Well the OP wasn't playing at a restaurant he was at a private event where they were apparently too dumb to get paid well. In 35 years of playing I have only played one gig with a tip jar, and the band isn't even the one who set it out. We Played a fundraiser for free 2 hours away from home for a girl with cancer. Someone in charge set out a tip jar and we maid about $40.00 which the BL kept for gas money.

 

[agreatheight]

Getting paid = no tip jar.

 

[Joe Louvar]

The band played a gig for a friend of the guitar player. They paid us peanuts so I brought a tip jar to help supplement our measly pittance. The guitar man refused to let me put it out front, said it was tacky. The party goers are affluent and I see nothing wrong with the tip jar. Some folks saw the tip jar behind the band and they brought it out front, threw $30 and there we go. This was the last set. I imagine had the tip jar been out there the entire gig we would have done much better. Thoughts on tip jars? I am right wrong?

Yes, you were wrong! A tip jar at a private party is totally cheesy!!! And you agreed to play - next time don’t agree to play a gig that doesn’t pay you what you need/want.

 

[modulusman]

My bands have been tipped well over the years but never with a tip jar. One time I played a private Party for a guy who was the CEO for one of the nations largest banks. At the end of the gig he gave each member of the band a $100.00 bill. There was 5 of us.

 

[wideload]

Never used a tip jar, but I've played gigs that I found out later paid little or nothing, and still got my check (without asking) from the bandleader. Major standup guy.

 

[jmattbassplaya]

@kesslari. That's another thing. They were embarrassed to ask for any payment. Should have been a $1200 gig we got $300 for 4 hours and there are 6 of us.

I don't wanna be that guy, but you either need to have a very important talk with the guy booking the gigs or you need to split. Whoever is running the show doesn't get it, and it's costing you money.

Tip jars are generally bad form. Ok for Busking, not for gigs

Depends on the situation. As a guy who's done some modest touring in a couple original bands, I can tell you that a tip jar can be the difference between whether or not you get enough gas money to make it to the next city. Considering how little venues play unknown out of town groups, tip jars are a necessity. Plus I've been in bands that have made up to $200 just from a tip jar (or $50 a man). Might not be a lot, but that's an extra $50 I didn't have at the beginning of the day.

edit - Of course things are a bit different if you're playing a private gig and pay is negotiated well beforehand. But even then I'd still ask the customer if they'd be fine with using one or not.

 

[jaywa]

I've played two house parties in the last 10 months. Each in a different band, both for pretty well-off clients.

One of those jobs was the aforementioned one where I got very generously tipped in person (though we did not have a tip jar out). The other one, the band didn't put out a tip jar either but when I went through the buffet I saw the client had put one out clearly labeled "tips for band" and he had put it right by the free beer keg

Again, not sure any hard and fast rules can be drawn from isolated incidents but these have been my recent experiences playing in-home private parties in particular.

 

[Slough Feg Bass]

I use a tip box...a sturdy wooden box painted black with our logo on it.
I put it on the merch table and tell people to put their money in there when they buy a CD or T-shirt. And they do. And they put tip money in there as well.
At a corporate gig or higher profile venue, I would be at the merch table myself after the set(s) and would not put the tip box out.

 

[Texan]

If we are not being paid our asking price, we negotiate the tip jar into the price. Never had a problem when done that way and almost always walk away with more that our standard asking price in those situations.

 

[AaronVonRock]

I agree that if you're being paid, a tip jar is tacky.

This.

 

[two fingers]

I agree that if you're being paid, a tip jar is tacky.

They weren't getting paid. They were making $300.

 

[marmadaddy]

@kesslari. That's another thing. They were embarrassed to ask for any payment. Should have been a $1200 gig we got $300 for 4 hours and there are 6 of us.

I'd be perfectly ok with the tip jar. Money is how we show that something has value in this society. Without an agreement up front, your guitar player had no right to limit your income, particularly after negotiating the ridiculously low pay. His self image problems around his friends are his problems, not yours.

I learned a long time ago to say "no" to these kinds of gigs. They only breed resentment and problems in a band.

 

[Factor88]

Putting a Tip jar out for a private party (unless it is a freebie) is usually a no-no in my book, and that goes more the higher-end the party is. Now, if someone at the party walks up, asks you to sing happy birthday for their wife, and flashes a 100, you take it, that's different (you were not solicting the tip, you would have played the request even if there was no tip).

Bars are different depending upon location. I never even saw a tip jar when I played in Eastern PA / South Jersey, but they were the norm when I came to South Florida.

 

[two fingers]

I'd be perfectly ok with the tip jar. Money is how we show that something has value in this society. Without an agreement up front, your guitar player had no right to limit your income, particularly after negotiating the ridiculously low pay. His self image problems around his friends are his problems, not yours.

I learned a long time ago to say "no" to these kinds of gigs. They only breed resentment and problems in a band.

PREACH!

 

[Stumbo]

I'd be perfectly ok with the tip jar. Money is how we show that something has value in this society. Without an agreement up front, your guitar player had no right to limit your income, particularly after negotiating the ridiculously low pay. His self image problems around his friends are his problems, not yours.

I learned a long time ago to say "no" to these kinds of gigs. They only breed resentment and problems in a band.

PREACH!

+1

 

[akukulich]

I'd guess that this has been said already, but if the money isn't right, don't take the gig. It's bad form to agree to payment and then put a tip jar out.

 

[jmattbassplaya]

I'd guess that this has been said already, but if the money isn't right, don't take the gig. It's bad form to agree to payment and then put a tip jar out.

I don't understand this mentality. At least on TB, it seems unanimously agreed upon that musicians are undervalued and underpaid. If anything, I think, unless it's agreed upon beforehand that no tip jar would be used, every band should put one out. Maybe the idea will get around to venue owners that they aren't paying enough if this starts happening on a grand scale.