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Tip jar at private party?

#61
Bassdirty said:
because bartender and waitstaff get paid based on the fact that there will be tipping (shld be tipping).
Most professional bands dont. if the band gets extra..its usually from a happy owner/mgr./person who hired them..not patrons.

Maybe im wrong, but..i dont think so on this one. ;)
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Your not wrong or right. You have an opinion and probably a way you like to do business.

When it has been obvious the bar had a stellar night we have had owners throw us $100.00 bucks in addition to our fee. Usually we make out pretty good from the tip jar on those rare nights.

Blue
 
#64
Joe Louvar said:
Hustle vs. Class.........



Hi Blue

TIP: If you ever get a good paying classy private party gig - DO NOT setup a tip jar in front of the band, because it makes the host look like a cheapskate and that’s a total insult to the host.

If guess or the host want to tip, or if the host wants to pass the hat or setup a tip jar somewhere that’s ok - but personally I wouldn’t allow it to be setup in front of the band because that makes the band look cheesy and cheap.

NOTE: I’m referring to classy private party gigs and not dive bar gigs, beer parties, or busking.
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Hi Joe,

We played a private party Saturday night, very classy affair. It's our biggest pay day of the year. We've played this gig for the last 4 years and we have always had our tip container out.

We have a rare wedding coming up next month I'm not sure if we will use it or not.

We're hustlers , I'm not sure if we will ever be classy. Its never been a topic for discussion with the band.

Joe, we're realists, we know what we are and we're good at it. We're a bar band.

Blue
 
#65
modulusman said:
This^ BTW Blue did you guys put a tip jar out at summerfest? Did you notice if any of the other bands did?
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No, no tip jars at Summerfest. And I don't see other bands using them there either. I don't think tip jars are allowed on the main stages or any stages at Summerfest. Plus there is a distance between us and the crowd at Summerfest.

We paid $60.00 to sell CDs and t shirts. We sold out of CDs.

Blue
 
#66
bluewine said:
Hi Joe,

We played a private party Saturday night, very classy affair. It's our biggest pay day of the year. We've played this gig for the last 4 years and we have always had our tip container out.

We have a rare wedding coming up next month I'm not sure if we will use it or not.

We're hustlers , I'm not sure if we will ever be classy. Its never been a topic for discussion with the band.

Joe, we're realists, we know what we are and we're good at it. We're a bar band.
Blue
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FWIW: Personally, I’d kick your tip jar off the stage, stuff a couple of extra C notes in your pocket and send you home before I’d allow you to insult me at a party I was hosting.
 
#70
Joe Louvar said:
FWIW: Personally, I’d kick your tip jar off the stage, stuff a couple of extra C notes in your pocket and send you home before I’d allow you to insult me at a party I was hosting.
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Hi Joe,

Were good friends with the hosts. Since they have brought us back 4 years in a row. I don't think they share your values nor have we ever insulted them.

In a way that might be a part of this topic. All bands have different protocols and values.

We value our tips.

If you ever book us we won't put our tip container out.:D

Blue
 
#73
Joe Louvar said:
FWIW: Personally, I’d kick your tip jar off the stage, stuff a couple of extra C notes in your pocket and send you home before I’d allow you to insult me at a party I was hosting.
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I keep going back to the situation in the OP. If you are only paying $300, then YOU don't have any RIGHT to be insulted. Because you are a jerk for ever even trying to get a full band to set up in your yard and play a four hour gig for $300. Had I been the OP, not only would I have laughed at him when he "announced" such a ridiculous gig, but I would have personally CALLED the ridiculous idiots ("hosts" as you call them) and told them where they could stick THEIR $300.

Certainly nobody here is saying that setting out a tip jar at a formal party where the band brings down $3500 (which is the LEAST I will do a private party for) is a good idea.

But in the situation that started this conversation, there was obviously nothing FORMAL about an event where the "hosts" only wanted to spend $300. Nothing classy. Nothing formal. No rules. It was a backyard jam. They should get what they PAID for. And they did NOT PAY FOR a formal band setting. They got a buddy to do a favor. NO RULES apply to this ridiculously cheap "event". Period. None whatsoever. In fact, these "hosts" were not even CUSTOMERS in my view. $300 may as well be a sandwich and a few beers. It is worth about the same. The guy who BOOKED the gig should have been insulted and slapped the "host" across the mouth. The BAND should have thrown the guy who BOOKED the gig into the nearest river.

As for kicking my tip jar...... If you were rich, and tried to get me to play your backyard party for $300, I would personally hang up the phone, drive to your house, and shove my tip jar up your......... :cool:
 
#74
two fingers said:
As for kicking my tip jar...... If you were rich, and tried to get me to play your backyard party for $300, I would personally hang up the phone, drive to your house, and shove my tip jar up your......... :cool:
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I am not sure, but I think the kicking of the tip jar refers to the private party my band played Saturday. Which was a classy private party that we play every year. It wasn't any where near $3,500.00 but well over $1,000.00.

Me and the poster have a difference of opinion, we did use our tip container.

Blue
 
#75
Factor88 said:
But at a truly upscale private party or exclusive Country Club you are almost guaranteed to be getting exceptional service from the car park guys, the waitstaff, the bartenders, and the entertainers, every time. It's what you pay for when you pay your club dues, or when you accept the invitation to attend the millionaire's party. You don't expect to have to pay more for it.

Must be a regional thing. People still tip at private parties around here for valet, bartending, and, yes, even the band.

Understood. But as a patron, I wouldn't be put off by a band that wears shorts and tee shirts, as long as they are good. Yet as a musician playing the party I wouldn't wear shorts and a tee shirt to an upscale private party.

Not sure I'm seeing the comparison. Again, if it's discussed beforehand then what does it matter? Same goes for using a tip jar.

When I am playing an upscale party, if the band makes one or two people feel awkward we are not doing our job right, which IS our responsibility

A tip jar is an inanimate object that you can sit on the corner of the stage. It doesn't have to be obvious or even mentioned during the gig; it just needs to sit there. No one is obligated to pay anything extra, and so long as the host is cool with it I don't see anything wrong with it. I've thrown a few bucks to the classy band at a classy restaurant once. The classy waitstaff expected tips, too, as did the classy valet guy.

Again, I will use as evidence the usual LACK of a tip jar for service people at these types of events (at least in my area).

And that's the important difference between you and me on this. 'Classiness' has nothing to do with it (as some are suggesting).

Of course, I am limiting this conversation to truly upscale gigs. Although the OP described the party goers as "affluent", OP's definition of that word vs mine might be way different.

And in this situation anyway, things are slightly different anyway. Guitarist books a gig at a friend's party for a rediculously low amount (mistake number 1). In doing so, at least in my mind he becomes the BL for this gig (if the band has no clear BL). OP agrees to do the gig for said rediculous amount (mistake number 2) but decides to show up at the gig with a tip jar before giving the BL the chance to discuss it with him and owner in advance (mistake number 3: during gig set up is not the time to hit the house owner or the BL with that). Seems like people are focusing on what is to them a fourth mistake: BL not wanting to put the tip jar out. But I'm saying the mistakes leading up to that are the real story.
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You're right about that.
 
#77
two fingers said:
I keep going back to the situation in the OP. If you are only paying $300, then YOU don't have any RIGHT to be insulted. Because you are a jerk for ever even trying to get a full band to set up in your yard and play a four hour gig for $300. Had I been the OP, not only would I have laughed at him when he "announced" such a ridiculous gig, but I would have personally CALLED the ridiculous idiots ("hosts" as you call them) and told them where they could stick THEIR $300.

Certainly nobody here is saying that setting out a tip jar at a formal party where the band brings down $3500 (which is the LEAST I will do a private party for) is a good idea.

But in the situation that started this conversation, there was obviously nothing FORMAL about an event where the "hosts" only wanted to spend $300. Nothing classy. Nothing formal. No rules. It was a backyard jam. They should get what they PAID for. And they did NOT PAY FOR a formal band setting. They got a buddy to do a favor. NO RULES apply to this ridiculously cheap "event". Period. None whatsoever. In fact, these "hosts" were not even CUSTOMERS in my view. $300 may as well be a sandwich and a few beers. It is worth about the same. The guy who BOOKED the gig should have been insulted and slapped the "host" across the mouth. The BAND should have thrown the guy who BOOKED the gig into the nearest river.

As for kicking my tip jar...... If you were rich, and tried to get me to play your backyard party for $300, I would personally hang up the phone, drive to your house, and shove my tip jar up your......... :cool:
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You need to learn how to say no to jobs that don’t pay enough.
 
#78
We recently played a private party for a friend, celebrating his son's graduation from college. I taught his son bass for a couple of years while he was in high school. Anyway I flailed a bit and only charged $500 for a three hour commitment, where we were also providing PA. My friend is fairly affluent, both he and his wife are successful professionals, they have a sweet house where we got to play, and he built us a nice stage to play on. But he's not what I would consider truly wealthy, either. So I ended up not taking any money myself and considered my effort a gift to him and his wife and son for graduation. The other three guys split the $500, with those who brought more PA gear getting a larger share.

The host himself, who while being a great guy can be sometimes socially unaware, suggested putting out a tip jar to try and recoup some of what he was paying the band. I think he became aware at how uncomfortable this made me right away, so he changed it to a tip jar to make extra for the band. I told him it was unusual at parties, but it was his party so he could do as he wished. At the gig I was blissfully unaware of the tip jar and just figured he'd forgotten, but he must have had it back by the food or something, at the end of the night there was an extra $20. I don't know if he kept any for himself, but I did take the extra $20 for myself, to cover gas and a bit of the time I'd put into organizing the gig.

In general, I learned to charge enough. The price is high, whether $500 or $650, so it might as well be high enough to really pay the band members well. I wouldn't do this again for a penny less than $650, and I'd start at $1000 and push hard for $800. And just because someone is a friend it can't make any difference. And in general you don't put out a tip jar at private parties, and certainly not at weddings! Just my opinion, but I am sticking with it.
 

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