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Torn Between Bands

Bassmanbob

Bassmanbob

Supporting Member
Nov 25, 2002
2,854
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Treasure Coast, Florida
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#1
OK... After an 18 month hiatus from playing I auditioned and joined a band in October. The musicians are great including a great singer/guitarist, lead guitarist, drummer and keys. So I make the fifth guy. The band was supposed to be ready to gig within 6 weeks.

Now it's three months later. The keyboardist just dropped out of sight last month. We decided to go at it as a foursome. Then another keyboardist calls with all of these promisses, comes to rehearsal last night and he's not so great. Besides, the lead singer unexpectedly couldn't make rehearsal last night. He's ususally very reliable, but he got caught up at another pick up gig of his last night. Without a lead singer, it was difficult to have the kind of rehearsal we intended to have last night. So I'm getting a bit discouraged.

Friday (three days ago) I get a call from a friend who's band is gigging, but kicked out their bass player for being a pain in the ass. He wants me to play with them. They are decent musicians too, but not as good as the band I'm committed to. They already have a gig booked for the weekend of the 23rd that I could just fit right in. They also already have regular gigs at least twice a month.

Here's the thing: Band A (the one I'm already involved with) has better musicians with good connections for future gigs. I like the mix of the music more too. Unfortunately, it seems to be going nowhere fast. Band B (my friend's band) is already gigging regularly, but the music isn't as good (but is still good). The advantage of this band also is that they don't want to gig as much as Band A (which wants to gig more than I want to when they finally get going) and Band B has a better rehearsal night than Band A.

So do I book out of Band A for Band B even if Band A has more potential, but has been sort of dragging butt? I thank you in advance for your input.

Bob
 
#2
Be honest with both of them - if you want to work with both bands, that's your right, and both bands should know about it. Work out a deal regarding what each band is comfortable with as far as who gets first dibs on you and how that's going to work. Some bands are like marriages, and they only want you in THEIR BAND; others are comfortable with the idea that it's a business and you take work where you can get it. You'll have to find out which kind you're dealing with here. But BE UPFRONT.
 
#3
Just curious....why can't you do both? Are they both original bands or are they cover bands/mixture of both? My impression is that while you want Band A to work as a business, some of the other members are not seeing it as such - if that is the case, make Band A a side gig, while making Band B the priority. That is, if you are seeing it as a business instead of an art. If you are seeing it as an artform, then by all means go for the band with more talent than drive.
 
#4
#1 - You can stay commited to Band A, but you won't be gigging yet. And, as we all know, there are no garuntees in life - Ever.
#2 - You know the tunes for Band B, then do the gig. It is not cheating on Band A. If you feel the need to, tell them what you are doing, but you are basically helping out your friend for a gig that they have. That is the right thing to do, from where I sit.
#3 - Nothing says that you have to quit Band A, but the point here is do you want to gig or practice? Do you want to play with the better musicians when they have time to practice, or with what you say is a lower quality, but have more commitment?
Potnetial is great, but what good is it if there is no drive? I played with this awesome guitar player once, but he would not show up for practice, played sloppy on his bad days, and had the ego of most guitard guys. So what? I left and found a band that had more fun. that's my Buck Fifty.
 
#5
Thanks guys. To clear things up, I don't have the time to be in two bands, so I do need to choose.

I will audition for Band B and see how it goes. My friend is not the leader of that band, so we'll see. I did explain my frustration with one of the leading members of Band A, so we'll see what happens.

Thanks again.
 
#6
Well IMO and i kinda have been in your shoes. I would go with band B if the audition goes well and it feels right. I dont know about you but the big old world keeps spinning and time is short. You can sit around and hope and wish on band A who you said wants more gigs then you want anyhow, or you can go to band B ready to move and has proven gigs.
I have found out one thing since i got back into music after I was out of it for years. Bands are going two places somewhere or nowhere, I want to be with the somewheres even if they are not the very best ...good but not the best.

I did a stay in the nowheres and wasted a year. I then joined the somebodys who became nobodys and then left them to be with the somebodys i am with today...:D Simple huh...:confused: Wait!.. what the heck am i saying :rolleyes:
 
#7
bassbully said:
Well IMO and i kinda have been in your shoes. I would go with band B if the audition goes well and it feels right. I dont know about you but the big old world keeps spinning and time is short. You can sit around and hope and wish on band A who you said wants more gigs then you want anyhow, or you can go to band B ready to move and has proven gigs.
I have found out one thing since i got back into music after I was out of it for years. Bands are going two places somewhere or nowhere, I want to be with the somewheres even if they are not the very best ...good but not the best.

I did a stay in the nowheres and wasted a year. I then joined the somebodys who became nobodys and then left them to be with the somebodys i am with today...:D Simple huh...:confused: Wait!.. what the heck am i saying :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Somehow... I'm not sure how, but somehow... that made a lot of sense.

Yeah. Band A is a real nice bunch of guys, but I'm going to see how the audition for Band B goes. Unfortunately, I'll be out of town until Sunday. Band B is auditioning two other bass players tomorrow night. Hey... What are ya' gonna do? I'll just roll with it. If it works out, great. If not, I didn't miss out on anything I didn't already have.
 
#11
Well as it turns out, I will be staying with Band A anyway. My friend, the lead singer, is not the leader of Band B. The leader auditioned another bass player (who he already knew anyway) and hired him right away. He had never heard me play, but I didn't feel right totally committing to him either before I jammed with them at least once. But we'll see what happens to Band A. Besides the new bass player from Band B is doing this for the money and lives an hour's drive away. So who knows how long that's going to last???

So I didn't lose anything considering I never had it anyway.

I am looking forward to Friday night. I have a formal banquet for my profession's state association. The band is lead by one of our ex-presidents. He's heard me play, so he asked me to sit in for a set. I brought my bass and my wireless, so I don't have to hear my wife complain about me being on stage while she has to be alone. I'll just go dance with her while I play. It's a formal affair, but everyone knows each other and it gets real informal as soon as speaches are over. My tux is a little snug though... Oh well. I may take off my jacket when I play.

Should be a fun night.:bassist:
 
#12
Wow, the eternal dilemma.

Unless you're doing this as a full time job, you really have to enjoy what you're playing and who you;re playing with. It took us nearly a year to get the right mix of people, but once we did, it was pretty magical after that.

What you have to decide is how serious is Band A about making things work?
 
#14
I am going through a very similar situation right now. And yep,
I'm torn between the bands.

I don't want to hijack your thread, but it looks like Band B for
you is not an option longer; so bear with me as this seems
to be nearly the same topic.

I kind of wasted time the last 2 years trying to develop a
band with some friends. All nice guys, but there were too
many members, too many schedule conflicts and I just gave up.

To keep up my chops and meet new musicians, I started
attending the open mike circuit almost by accident. Went to
see a friends show, then ran into some guys who all were
acquainted with my old guitarist, one of whom runs a few open
mikes locally. This guy, Nelson, has introduced me to a lot of
local talent.

Nelson call me up in November as he always likes to have
at least one bassist and a drummer in house to support the
guitar players. He asked me if I am coming, and I said I think
so, he noted he had posted a pic of me on CL touting the
OM.

I never go on CL, but I happened to later and saw the posting.
Three posts up was a listing for Bassist wanted for original
rock band, influences include Tull, Who, Allman Bros, Moody

Bblues, etc. I call the leader up and we hit it off. I show up
and audition and the chemistry is slammin good. Goals: rehearse
weekly and occasional select gigs, maybe starting
in the spring sometime, possibly one every month or
two. The leader has written some very excellent material and it is
very satisfying to play. (This is Band 1).

In the interim, Band 2 lost their bassist, a local TB'er
over some family issues he had. They also fired their drummer as
he wasn't cutting it. I was very informally second in line for that
band but didn't pursue it last year. I contact the guy, he is interested.
I also have another drummer from band pre#1
who is interested. Goals: blues, blues/Funk, rehearse weekly,
1 gig a month.

My drummer and I met his key player (key2)and him(BL2)
for an informal session 2 weeks ago. We agreed to leave,
come up with a 6 song list collectively and learn those
songs and bring them to a second meeting and see how
it works out. That is next Tuesday.

At the same time, in Dec Bandleader 1 and I both went
to open mikes locally and played together. 3-4 weeks ago,
he recruited another bandmember - guitarist- I also knew
from the OM circuit. This guy plays every show he can,
came down, played with us in the basement and called
the next day and asked to join the project.

The band really jelled, and last Friday, 7 weeks out of
the box, did a debut paid show. Tonight, we will drag out
4 or 5
original songs at an OM with the full band.

Bandleader2 has another 'crappy' band he is not
giving up and I told him I had an original project
in the works I was not blowing off either. I invited
him to the OM tonight, he's never been to a local one,
and thus he can see what the Band1 is
doing.

Band1 is really taking off, and now I feel I may have made a
mistake and over-committed with Band2. Plus, the 2keys player
gives me a hinky vibe. Somehow, this band has to be all about
giving him the chance to watch bootay shaking dancers at shows.
Admirable, but perhaps not my first priority as a musical goal.

I would like to follow through on B2 as I thought initially it would
come out of the box faster and be more productive
financially. OTOH, B1 has really picked up a head of steam
much quicker than anyone could have possibly predicted.
The debut was well attended and there was a lot of hooting
and hollering and applause. Pay was reasonable.

Band2 is not at they stage where there has been a commitment
on either side yet. I figure one step at a time.

I think I am being fair as I have kept BL2 in the loop. I did tell
BL1 that I was thinking about this situation a couple of months
back as I needed the extra income. I haven't revisited
it yet with him and them though.

It this wasn't confusing enough, now the GP in B1 needs a
bassist in his side blues project. He was using the bassist from
Band2 that left actually. Now I am on that list if he needs a hand.
Rhode Island is pretty small, and pretty musically
incestous. But the side blues gigs pay, require no rehearsal,
and I see the guy weekly at B1 rehearsal.

I think I have created a monster that is getting out of
control. I am kind of getting cold feet on band2 but if I say that,
I know the guy will shut the door. He mentioned that if his
old bassist wanted back in, that once he quit he was done with him.

I am hoping that having him come and see B1 will clear the
air a bit. In the interim, what a mess.

And all I wanted to do was to find a decent band. :help:

Any thoughts here? :confused:
 
#15
Ouch Thor.

I am so sorry to hear what's going on there. It's definitely hard to keep everything/everyone in the same loop. My advice would be to go with what feels right in the gut...maybe keep Band 2 as an option, while letting them know they need to find someone not so busy. I would do the side line thing though with Band 1 (the non-rehearsing one), because it sounds like you are not having to really commit, with the exception of the gig. Band 2 sounds like they really need someone who wants to have it as their main project.

Again, only my opinion
 
#16
I am kind of leaning that way right now.

The planned intros didn't go off that weel, the OM was
one of the worst I ever went to. The organizer was drunk
and on pain meds, no sign up list, his friend and project mate went
up 4-5 times, bumping numerous others that came to play.
Project mate brought the PA, so he decided that completing his
renditions of all the Tom Waits songs he knew
as a vocalist trumped everyone else.

I had to break up a fight outside the between 2 grown musicians. Bogus.

Band1 was there, did 3 originals and was told to leave the stuff
set up as they would be on again. That didn't happen and they left
later feeling abused and disgruntled.

Band2 guy was asked to double up with another guy and
play, so they did 2 blues numbers. Project Mate came up at
the end of the song2 and intervened to end it, and told the guy
who was the second guitarist 'You can't end a song, you're done.
Get the **** offfa the stage. Pretty intesting to Band2 guy, as
it was his first OM.

Another crew I knew waited all night and finally left. Those were
guys that I played with years ago, had played there once or twice
before, and to whom I had mentioned coming I was coming.

So 3 crews that I brought got dissed or PO'ed while the OM
guy donutfinked the whole night. All his friends were featured
or got on, though.

At the end of the night, the OM guy asked me to apologize
to all my friends for him. (They all spent their gas money, ate
and drank while he got paid and had a free bar tab). Apologize?
Heck no, I am lucky if any of these people will talk to me anymore.

I called bandleader1, but he was cold about the whole thing,
don't blame him. From now on, I am not inviting people to
random OM's.

Anyway, its even more of a mess now. I am GTG'ing with
Band2 Tuesday and Band1 Wednesday, and hope to get
this mess straightened out.
 

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