I wasn't being a jerk (I wasn't judging whether you were, but I understand you really don't like to be disagreed with...). I also never insulted the OP (if you disagree, please quote the exact sentence), why should I apologise? And why do you think you get to tell me when I need to apologise anyone? Also, I don't need your apology, because as annoying as your manner can be, you didn't get me offended.
Once again, I suggested to the OP where to find a much better answer to his question than any of us can type here, even if searching for the samples would take more effort than asking the question and waiting for others to make that same effort.